Thank you everyone for your thoughts on all this. I really appreciate the different points of view.
It’s been a long-term relationship (5+ years), and to be fair, my body has changed a LOT since we first met. I was still hefting around the freshman 15 (or 20… or 25) when we started seeing each other. I’m actually, size-wise, smaller than back then, although I am ‘bigger’ (in my upper body) than when I first lost the weight via diet and cardio and half-assed weights several years ago.
I’ve spent way too much energy in my teens and early-adulthood practically obsessed with what others thought of my body. I’ve done some very unhealthy things to try to make my body into something that will please others, and never made myself happy in the process. I often felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and as if I took up ‘too much’ space.
Since I’ve fallen in love with heavy lifting, my body has changed in positive and healthy ways. I’m doing something that makes me happy, both in the practice of it, and in the physical outcome. I REFUSE to fall back into negative patterns by trying to make my appearance pleasing to someone else, rather than to myself.
Granted, I am pretty much satisfied with the amount of muscle I’m carrying, and I don’t wish to get much bigger. But I want any decisions I make regarding my body to be my OWN, not anyone else’s.
I might be more willing to compromise if everything else between us was hunky-dory. But we’ve been having some MAJOR issues for quite some time, and were basically broken up until about a week ago when we decided to give it one last try. I feel like he wants me to be someone I’m not.
I think Debra is spot on - his reaction strikes me as being about his discomfort with me displaying my strength. I’ve often been too easy-going, to the point of being his ‘door mat’ - I’m now asserting myself in other areas of our relationship, so when I mention deadlifting 230 lbs or considering doing a powerlifting meet sometime in the near future, I think it threatens him.
I wish I could get him into the training, even a little bit. He’s been very resistant to it in the past. He’s recently said he’d consider coming to the gym a few times in the near future, but I think he might freak even more seeing me lifting in person. I don’t know if it’s even worth trying, though.
Anyways, thanks again everyone for the thoughts and the kind words. It’s especially good for me today. Was supposed to deadlift tonight after work, but got a call from my aunt on my dad’s side - my paternal grandmother passed away this afternoon. She’d been living in a home, since her diagnosis with Alzheimer’s several years ago. Recently her condition had been deteriorating significantly, and she went peacefully in her sleep, so in a way I think it’s for the best.
Rather than train, I went grocery shopping and spent the entire evening cooking. Very therapeutic.
On a positive note, my maternal grandfather is home from the hospital finally. No conclusive results regarding the mass in his lung, but they’re going to monitor it. Other than an infection that he picked up at the hospital (that’s being treated by antibiotics), he appears to be doing much better.
On another negative note, I think I’m coming down with a UTI from all this stress. Drank a litre of pure cranberry juice (and even more water) already tonight to try to flush it out.
Sorry for being such a downer lately, everyone. Thanks, all, one last time for the support! I promise to get back to kicking ass in the gym asap, and leave the drama at the door. 
Oh, and T, yes I used the 70 lbs for all the exercises in the complex. It was really brutal. Wanted to do 3 or 4 sets, but 2 felt like more than enough!
Sorry you have all this stress.
- 70lbs complexes? how did I miss that! way to go girl.