Lets say you’re out on a date with your man. Or any man that happens to take you out on a date for that matter. Or even just sitting around. (Rambling, sorry)
Anyways, thats the scenario. Lets say hes trying to put the moves on you or just trying to warm you up to him.
If you’re the girl what kind of things do you like/want to hear him say? (i.e. conversation pieces, compliments, etc., etc.)
The reason I’m wondering is because a while ago a friend told me the key to women and getting them is to tell them things they want to hear.
Considering I’m not a woman and I don’t know what women like to hear. I’d like to hear what women like to hear.
“Get a grip while the gettin’ is good before the game is 10% skill and 90% Hollywood.”
I heard someone say something to the effect of, “It isn’t how much you know about women, it is how much you know about me.” I don’t want to hear the same generic crap that every girl you’re with hears. I want to hear something that tells me that you have paid attention/listened to ME.
In more general terms, I would say I just like a man who is confident. If a guy is going to put the moves on me, I like him to just do it! Tentative isn’t sexy…
I’m not sure I agree with all of this, I think its good for a man to be just a bit more forceful than suggested, but it has some good points nonetheless.
Im no lady, but having had jobs that gravitated around these settings (and peoples comments), forced me to sit there quickly gave me some pointers on what works and what does not. For instance:
Man, dont put yourself up on the dependent of feedback of the other and try to mold yourself to her and what she wants to hear` trap.
(Well…at least if youre in the quality/long-term stuff. If youre in for the quick kill, stop reading this, and take whatever works.)
First of all, it aint sincere. And you better have a damn good memory if you start pulling image related sell something` mechanism. Sooner or latter, the image balloon pops.
Second, what does that say about your confidence in yourself if you have to mold yourself to please the other and/or put the other on the pedestral that much?
Third, my experience with T-Vixens has been that they love the challenge/difference/unexpected factor. Being a doormat is the exact opposite. Bad start.
Trying to please to other too hard is a a give-away-your-balls mindframe. Let her up put-up-a-fight-too and don`t be afraid to call her on her shit. Chances are, she hears this so rarely, specially if she is beautful and people eat her bathwater, just that will make her fall flat on her ass.
Try to keep things equal in the pitching. You wouldnt want to fall for a needy grabber who cant return anything eh? Shell most likely appreciate it too and respect you too if you show them-fightin-spirit a bit (at least, it shows you have some).
Anyway, enough of my little experiences. I`ll let the ladies tell their stuff.
You cant figure ladies out. quit trying. what works for one wont work for another one. you just have to use trial and error. if something works keep using it. if it doesnt move on to something else.
Please realize that if you are going to actually use this “telling women what they want to hear” bullshit, you are only going to attract women that will drive you to drink (or to a Roman bath). The women that thrive on that shit are the ones that don’t give a flying fuck about you. They only want to know what YOU can give THEM.
Brider, nephorm and Sabrina are all spot on. I can’t even begin to tell you how quickly any remotely intelligent chick will pick up on the simpering, placating, overly-eager idiocy that the vast majority of men demonstrate when they’re trying to get a little action. And it’s such a turnoff. I simply have no patience for that sort of thing. When approached in that fashion, the guy is lucky if all he gets is a hand held up in his face, an “ugh” and then my back turned to him.
If you (general, not personal) haven’t the intelligence to be genuine and somewhat unique, don’t bother. Go for the “mysterious guy” look. That way, you’ll not expose yourself for the complete lackluster conversationalist you are and you’ll have the chance that the chick will project her fantasies onto you.
Exactly…bullshit lines and talk will be spotted a mile away.
Be yourself and be genuine. Learn to ask questions to find out about her life.
The things that have recently swayed my interest in a few men:
*Emails just to say hi and see how I was doing.
*A CD burned for me with great workout music–one for cardio and one for iron pumping
*A pic of Shonna McCarver’s Body and my face…so I could see what I would look like at my goal.
See, it is the little things that can get a girl’s attention. Bullshit and insincere come ons won’t get you anywhere.
I just want to agree with the group and strongly advise you not to use crap lines on women,… that will get you nowhere fast. If you truly listen to the girl that you are with (at that time) you will just know what to say to her. Take an interest in her, but don’t be needy because I can’t tell you how incredibly annoying that is.
I’ve done better arguing with a woman than the other guys at the party did by trying to kiss her ass. Be confident, be yourself, and treat her like a human.
Honest compliments work. Being a little different than the norm helps separate you from the pack of sheep too.
I just try to find out about her, like I do any person I’ve just met. If I truly like her then I make sure she knows. I don’t play games or any of that crap. I don’t have time for it and don’t appreciate others that do it.
You sound to me like you suffer from “beauty blindness” - i.e., that condition that occurs when you walk into a room/bar/whereever and there’s a beautiful woman there who immediately makes you feel attracted and inadequate, all at the same time.
If you have this feeling, you will never, I repeat, NEVER get her to sleep with you. There are a whole host of reasons, but you can see for yourself what her response is going to be like if you imagine having a girl - one who isn’t that physically attractive - come up and try her best to butter you up so that you’ll sleep with her. You won’t. No matter what she says, you won’t. Right? Okay.
So having established that, how do you go about getting what you want? First and foremost, you have to convince yourself that she’s not that attractive. Almost like hypnosis. Just make yourself believe that she’s some plain chick, nice enough, but nothing special. If you can pull this off, your chances will drastically improve because your attitude will be better. You won’t be some lickspittle trying desparately to impress her or skulking around, hoping against hope that she’ll somehow fall in love with you… Instead, you’ll just be a normal guy with a better-than-average bod. If you have something interesting to say, then she may well respond. (If you don’t, of course, then I can’t help you.)
And that’s it. That’s all you can do. There are no secret lines, secret techniques, secret fashion tips. If it works, great. And if not, there are other hot women who will like you for who you are - if you give them a chance to. But you can’t ruin things for yourself by totally abnigating your own persona in the hopes that she’ll see this as some sort of grand gesture on your part to make her happy. It won’t make her happy. It’ll just make her view you with distain.
The advice on this thread is spot on, chrismcl. Anyone, man or woman, will get tired of a yes-man. I can even offer empirical evidence: This Sunday I went to the zoo with a guy like this. His end of the conversation–on sci & tech, current events, or “that baby gorilla is so cute!” was “Yeah,” “That’s true,” “you’re right about that…” And if someone tries this, he’ll be called on it; “Really? Why do you say that?” (his response: “Uh, I haven’t really thought about it.” Shudder).
It’s worth saying that some women do the same, especially with current events, politics, and economic issues–topics in which many young women just aren’t interested in.