I’ve been doing alot of thinking lately about what makes a man attractive to a woman. Since my college summer classes have ended, I’ve had a chance to go out clubbing and partying alot…and I’ve noticed something. My friends, the pretty boys, ALWAYS seem to ‘score’ with the girls, i.e. get phone numbers, get laid, get dates, etc. And these friends of mine DON’T workout, they’re not ‘muscular’, they just have what a girl would seem to think is good looks (square jaw, nice eyes, nice facial features, etc.) I have very average looks, but a good body, and don’t come near what my buddies do in terms of picking up women. Now, sex is not the only motivation I have for bodybuilding, I love fitness and all that jazz. But sometimes I wonder, am I just wasting my time trying to get ‘bigger’ muscularly speaking? I mean, if a guy has average or below average looks, is it really going to matter if he’s more muscular? Seems to me that chicks dig looks over an awesome body (although I’m sure they appreciate the combo, like men do). Now, I know that any woman who posts on this site is going to be biased, because she’s into bodybuilding/fitness, but I would be curious to hear your thoughts nonetheless… Any thoughts or comments?
maclar: I’m not a “Vixen”, but just a thought not only from experience, but from something TC aluded to in a recent “Atomic Dog”. Guys who “score” put the proverbial “balls on the line” and “take a chance!” I had a roomate in College who seemed to LITTERALLY have a different woman for every night of the week. And he told me something interesting once; there were a LOT more women who turned his advances down than accepted. And don’t think that all the ones he slept with were only a bunch of “skanks, snags, sluts and 'ho’s”. Far from it. A lot were REALLY great, often smart and cute (why the HELL did they sleep with Jeff I’ll never know…I digress…)…yes I do know; Jeff was fun, confident and straight up…and the ladies LOVED HIM! (…sigh…:(–). Well…just my take (by the way…any one remember the issue that the “Atomic Dog” was in in which TC talked about this exact subject?)
I’m not a vixen either, but I’m pretty sure it depends on the type of girl you’re going for. If you’re in college and going for the sorority type, you’re probably out of luck. They like guys that look like fratboys… that’s just their thing. If the club scene isn’t working out for you, why don’t you try a lower-pressure social environment, like campus clubs and activities? You’re much more likely to hook up with someone by getting to know them than by trying to score a number in five minutes on a dance floor.
Also, try the beach, for christ’s sake! If you’ve got a good body, go someplace where it’s socially acceptable, even encouraged, to show what you’ve got! Beach going girls are probably more likely to go for average looks and a great body than club girls. The goals of each environment are different. Just my thoughts.
Mufasa is right, never underestimate what a little self confidence combined with a smidgen of social skill and the willingness to “strike out” can do. I had a good friend in college that looked like he stepped out of GQ. Every time we went out women would come up to him all night and he would keep their attention for all of three minutes. He lacked the ability to carry on any type of normal conversation and would inevitably end up insulting or offending the ladies in some way. There was an occasional woman that just wanted a one night stand and didn’t care, but that only happened to him a couple of times a year. Good looks will get you noticed but confidence and conversational skill will keep their attention.
Let’s re-phrase the question a little bit…
Who is more likely to get a date, the average guy with the average body OR the average guy with the above average body?
Well, I am a vixen and I think you are on the right path. Granted, I do find a muscular, ripped man incredibly sexy, and I am into fitness, but a lot of women out there find the same to be attractive. Besides, just think of it this way, you also want soemone who makes fitness a priority in their life, s why would you be attracted to a woman who is not living the lifestyle? When I check a guy out, I look first at the face (to make sure he isn’t hideous) then I look at the body. If he isn’t sporting the tone, that’s it. If a guy looks ok-average but has the body, I’m all over that. But if a guy has a great face, but slack body, I look the other way. So take it from me, you’ll attract a fit woman, and you’ll probably attract some not-so-fit women as well. I see hot guys with sof women all the time, which makes me think of a question of my own. Guys, why do you find a woman who is not as muscular as some of us more attractive? When I’m at the gym, the guys are checking me out, but never say hello, then go home to their fat girls. What’s the deal with that?
You know, a lot of those “soft” girls have learned survival skill: aggressiveness. I have not, to this date, gone out with a girl that didn’t pursue me (Ok, so I lack some self-confidence). A lot of girls that aren’t neccessarily the best looking, or most fit, have learned that they can easily get just about whatever guy they want by approaching the guy themselves. Strange as it seems, most women do expect the guy to approach. That’s fine, but you reape what you sowe. Think about it… you saw those guys checking you out, but did you go over and say hello? Mmmhmm. I’ve almost never seen a guy turn down a reasonably-atractive girl that approached him. And if even an average looking girl sets her sites on you and pursues you, you’re done for. Just my 2 cents
Importance to getting laid in order:
- Game 2. Money 3. Looks 4. Muscles.
Game is the absolute most important and that incorporates confidence above all and a good dose of humor thrown in. I have seen ugly guys with no money and no muscles with good game and they do pretty well. Of course we all hate the guys who have all the qualities.
Interesting feedback, thanks…what I was getting at was that I often see guys with average or below average bodies, with beautiful ladies. And it just got me wondering how important facial features are to women, seems that it’s priority #1. But you’re right, I do see alot of guys that are lacking in the looks dept. but have great personality (confidence, humor, etc.) and hook up with gorgeous girls. It must also be individual preference as well.
First, let me state for the record that I find nothing sexier than a woman with some muscle and visible abs. However, I would never ‘hit’ on someone at the gym, it just seems wrong to me. It’s bad enough I work out at a Bally’s and I have to listen to all of the ‘pick up’ conversations taking place two feet from me. I go to the gym for the experience of lifting weights and everything that entails, I almost enjoy the pain. On some level, picking someone up at the gym would destroy the purity of the pursuit, in my opinion. I know that I’m definitely in the minority,my friends work out at the other Bally’s because they have “hotter chicks”, but that’s why I don’t talk to women at the gym.
BigDave is 100% on, game and money are by far the 2 most important things. peace
I personaly don’t like verry muscular women, some muscle sure and I have no idea how much you have or don’t have so don’t take this personal. but I like women that are built like women, hips and curves, big buts and a little bit of a soft belly, I am not talking about fat chicks, and I do like women that work out but I would never date a chick with abs and ripped delts. peace hetyey225
My thoughts on girls, I like some muscle, not freaky ripped, but let’s face it very few women have that, and it takes crazy drugs to do that. So the women who have the guts to train hard and use real weights get my 2 thumbs up!! A good body can make up for an ok face, but not an ugly one, and a good face and make up for an ok body, not a terrible one, and of course you can always improve your body . .
Big Dave is right. It’s game, 100%.
I just gotta say I hate those fuckin scrawny stringbean fuckin guys dammit.
Fira I agree with two of the previous posters in that I also find muscular women unattractive. But I’m afraid that I don’t have an explanation as to why. I like women that have curves and are sufficiently filled out so that they jiggle a little…
Not “full figured” or “buxom” or “ample”. Kind of what was considered the ideal female figure in the mid seventies.
Natey…lol…you crack me up!
maclar,
these guys with the good faces who have all the luck with women … are any of them fat?
my pet theory is its all about bodyfat percentage … and that any guy around 5-8% bodyfat will look really good, his facial features will be outstanding. even a big nose can be excused if the bodyfat is right. check out Hugh Jackman’s nose! obviously really bad genetics like no chin can fuck the shit up though.
for women I think the ideal bodyfat range can depend on the lady but between 13 and 18% is usually ideal.
What does everyone else think about my theory?
I think Laotze has it right. A pretty skinny guy that’s really lean appears to be sexier to most women than a smooth but more muscular guy. It doesn’t take much muscle to look muscular when you’re ultra lean. I’ve been on a mass cycle since meeting my current girlfriend and put on some mass (maybe 5-6# lbm and ~4-5# fat). She likes the size and is always complimentary but we were talking last night and I asked if I look better when we first met and she said “Well…you’ve gained weight since then”. Now when I first started dating her I was doing strict Fat Fast and bf was ~9% so I interpret what she was saying as “You looked better because you were leaner”. So guess what? I’m back cutting again! Immediately!
Laotze, Hugh Jackman is also rich, famous, talented, and an Aussie. Think that might contribute a little to his sex appeal, too? But yeah, most women prefer the lean, ripped look to the big, smooth look. But I’d bet if you put about 15-20 lbs. of QUALITY muscle on Mr. Aniston or Mr. Jackman (maintaining vascularity and cuts, mind you), the ladies would swoon even more.