Depends on the neighbourhood tbh
I guess the implication is that this woman grew up and stayed in a shitty one, implying low ambition, skill and or development
I honestly kind of agree with Myth
I read it as a very comfy statement.
Most parents of people I know had to take a few steps up before they āarrivedā.
Walking right into it and arriving early would be very nice.
It is a problem when they live five hundred feet from their parents, five hundred feet from their brother, have a home they are very comfortable in, childhood friends, two kids, get fat, and stop banging you because they have everything they want.
Then you become a sperm donor and a paycheck.
So I heard.
I am certain I 100% do not appreciate the complexities of your situation. That said, isnāt there a reason why divorce is legal, and a valid choice?
Yes, and cough up your kids, your home, half your income, half your retirement.
Always a valid choice.
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I only view the last two as issues. Perhaps even just the last one. The āfatā isnāt physically healthy, but it doesnāt inherently kill a relationship.
The first things - living near family, childhood friends, and a comfortable house in a hometown are only issues if the people involved make it an issue.
I think the seeming-inherent need for many Americans to move away from home (and therefore family) has done a lot to destroy families, cultures, faiths, and communities. It is probably a big factor in why so many of us are rootless and confused about our existences.
It sounds like you had a bad divorce that came after a bad relationship. I get that. But I donāt think most of the things you mentioned are really problems that all others should avoid.
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This is common fodder for the āmisogynistsāā on social media - the Tates and others.
They are not really misogynists. They are just telling the truth.
Divorce ruins men.
Women stay in the family home, get custody of the kids, collect child and spousal support, take half of your retirement.
So, marry a 150 pounder, eight years later she is 250, two kids and a home. She stops washing herself, stops having sex with you (and you really donāt want to anyway).
You get to get out with your clothes on your back and pay her, I hear, $2500 a month until the kids are twenty one.
She tells the kids what she wants to tell them, she spins it, she gives them gifts (with your money).
So, yes, divorce is an option, lol.
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Maybe itās your writing style, but it sure reads like you wouldāve been happier. Poorer, of course.
Guilty. No kids, though, maybe that helped.
Oh, not guilty. And zero interaction with social media.
You would rather the kids in the basement, the parents on the main floor, the grandparents upstairs?
Welcome to Mineola. You think that is healthy in this day and age?
You might be right. I donāt know.
What I do know is that I am not from this town, met some peeps, wanted to invite them to a barbecue and my wife said, āNo, I just want my friends and family tonight.ā
So where do I go? Down the street, oh brothers. Upstairs, oh parents.
Have you heard of inbreeding? Itās not just DNA. Itās a mindset, a culture. Get out! Go away to college, find yourself.
I am not divorced. I canāt divorce her because she cannot buy me out of the house. I might be able to force her, but then my kids lose their childhood home.
Considering all of the things I have presented, do you see any reason to get married?
I donāt.
I agree that being close to family is good, but if the family is from a not great area, staying is bad and lazy.
You can move the parents
Well, I am just a sucker.
First wife I put through Med School.
Pretty sure I attract takers.
They are not actually misogynists. They just lay it out and it does not reflect well on women, so they get labeled.
Very much off topic, but growing up I had an absolutely hysterical neighbor that my family was good friends with. When telling stories, he would always reference his āfirst wife.ā
He was only married the one time, and they were still together. He just thought it sounded better to phrase it like that
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Classic pickup line - you look like my third wife.
How many times have you been married?
Twice.
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I donāt inherently have a problem with that. I think it depends on the family. My partner and I live with our son in a (admittedly large) house with my four siblings, two parents, and grandma. At various times throughout my life Iāve had aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. living in my familyās house.
This is pretty normal within my culture.
This sounds like it wasnāt a good fit for you. Like I said above, it depends on the family. It doesnāt work for everyone. Thatās fine.
Whatās wrong with a mindset? A culture?
I donāt ācareā that you feel this way, but I strongly disagree with it. Get out? Go away? Why? This is the mindset I am not on board with. That leaving = good. Who says college solves anything? I had my pick of schools and chose to go to the one in my hometown for my own reasons. Some of my high school friends regretted staying in town, some regretted moving away. Everyone has their own reasons. Plenty of kids develop addiction issues and depression in college. Iām generally pro-college but itās not some magical solution.
Yes, plenty. Your experience does not mean that all other marriages will automatically have the same results. Some do, plenty donāt.
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What makes an area not great? High rates of crime in large inner cities is one thing, but what about āboringā rural towns, far away from corporate settings and academic institutions? No one there is likely to become fabulously rich and well known (some farmers/ranchers excluded), but for a lot of people, home is home, regardless of job opportunities.
You can, but plenty wouldnāt want to. Again - a place is often worth more to people than the opportunities it provides.
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I do think growing up in your home, staying home for college, marrying a wife and having her move into the home, having kids in that home, moving upstairs, I do believe that is unhealthy. I think it breeds a parochial view that is uninformed and ignorant.
I think it develops tribalism and a lack of perspective. Inbreeding if you will.
I grew up in Oregon, went to college 85 miles away, then moved to California after graduation. I have lived in Oregon, California, Maryland, Florida, and New York.
I have traveled to UK, Germany, Spain, The Netherlands, Mexico, Belize.
Do you think growing up on your block you have any idea how the rest of the world works?
This is how Santos gets elected
Its strange, but a lot of older people donāt see their neighborhoods as younger people do, they see it as it was at a different time, but also as it is now.
Like in the old neighborhoods around here, the old folks remember when it was booming with industry, where their kids played, where they went to church, etc.
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