I think there are a lot more butch women out there than people think.
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What does ābutchā mean to you?
Same question to @Brant_Drake
You know you can count on me for a crude answer to this type of question.
When I think of a ābutchā woman, I think of bull dykes first and foremost. Short hair, no-nonsense, and is probably in a competition with you to out-man you even if you donāt realize it. Back when I learned how to use new words my teacher made us use it in a sentence.
Did you see that mulletted bull dyke punch that creeper in the face and then take a standing piss on his car hood?.
I suppose not all butch women are bull dykes, but the ones Iāve met are. Bull dykes are great to work with, in my experience. I was a warehouse shift lead 20 years ago and I had two women forklift operators on my team, one mid-20ās bull dyke and the other a mid-20ās bar fly.
The bar fly was a major distraction for nearly everyone, including my early 20ās self, as it was non-stop flirting and soaking up all of the attention she naturally got being the only straight female on a crew of about 2 dozen dudes. For lack of a better term, she acted like a slut and often got treated like a slut by a lot of the guys.
The bull dyke was a great worker and a smart gal who didnāt remain a forklift driver for very long before getting promoted. She was more or less one of the guys. Funny, good at busting balls and well-respected among the guys. Sheād fuck with the bar fly too, which was often amusing.
About a decade later, I answered to a director-level bull dyke when I was a consultant at a multi-billion dollar manufacturing conglomerate. She couldnāt bust balls with the same kind of reckless abandon a forklift driver could on a midnight warehouse crew, but she was a very smart gal who wasnāt intimidated by anybody, probably had a bit of a chip on her shoulder and a very quick wit. Not a woman to underestimate. Again, great to work with.
Two other gals come to mind as well, and the common denominator I can observe is that the butch dykes I worked with didnāt bring the kind of catty drama that is more common in straight women at the workplace, let alone the kind of crap you get from a lipstick lesbian or a gen z white girl who calls herself a nonbinary pansexual but hasnāt ever munched a single carpet.
In summary, Iāve always gotten along great with the butch gals in the workplace.
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Any woman who you would never refer to as a lady.
The woman I did concrete work for. Head like a pitbull. Mullet like Billy Ray Cyrus. Could form and finish a driveway single handedly.
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Thatās what I aspire to be.
I think the best compliment Iāve ever gotten was when my friend (that one) told his girlfriend that he was confident Iād be a star on the job market
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Thereās nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like one of the guys, but thereās also nothing wrong with being a feminine woman in the workplace who is most definitely NOT one of the guys and should not be treated like one of the guys.
In my experience a feminine, married mother with clear unspoken boundaries and good professional conduct is the most formidable kind of woman in the higher levels of a corporate workplace. Not that my bull dyke check-signing director wasnāt formidable back when I was consulting, itās just that a lot of women can get the idea that being treated like āone of the guysā is the sign of ultimate respect. I donāt think it is.
For workplace scenarios, being treated with respect means that people go out of their way to be on their best, most polite and most considerate behavior while in your presence. I think this is broadly true for everyone.
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I agree.
Itād just makes things easier for me personally to be treated as someone who theyād never consider a relationship with outside of an existing relaitonship on either of our parts (e.g., they have a gf/wife)
Being āone of the boysā also absolves me of some of the expectations ābeing a girlā entails
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More hot takes:
The majority of martial arts listed as āself defenseā arts including Tae Kwon Do and Karate are complete garbage for that purpose. (I am purposefully excluding arts that are more spiritual in nature such as Kung Fu and Tai Chi - much different purpose). Watch a Muy Thai match vs Olympic Tae Kwon Do and then try and tell me Iām wrong. Even BJJ had fallen into more of the sport only trap in recent decades.
Along those lines, Escrima (or Kali) (Philippine stick fighting is one of the most underrated arts as pretty much anything nearby can be turned into a stick type with which to defend oneself.
Everyone should be a staunch pacifist with the capability to defend oneself.
I donāt think the majority of people can make it to the end of a 400+ page book anymore.
Everyone should learn at least a little bit about gardening to grow some of their own food if able. Also, more rooftop gardens in urban areas are needed.
Jurassic Park (the original) is a better movie than then āA new Hopeā, but Star Wars is the better franchise.
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I actually think these are common sense.
1.) Martial arts are all just dancing. Weapons are better. If you know someone who always carries unopened chapstick, or puts a sock over a baseball bat, be nice to them.
2.) I think that this works, to a degree. Humans were successful because we self domesticated our own species.
3.) This was a hot take for me. I went through all my bookshelves and other than non-fiction or classic writers, most of the modern stuff is less than 400 pages. But youre right, once a friend of mind gave me the deer-in-the-headlights look when they were told āIt starts to pick up around page 1000.ā
4.) Gardening sucks to do. But so does working out. Or brushing your teeth. I think people should stop mowing their lawns and create wild gardens. And yes to rooftop gardens. They look better, reduce energy costs, and clean the air.
5.) Agreed. I think that audiances can tell a money grab from a genuinely original story. Lucas thought Star Wars would fail, so he gave Spielberg a portion of the rights. Jurassic Park was based on a novel (Which interestingly has . . .399 pages.)
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Fully agree.
I think some Iranian writer or politician came to America in the 70s and in saying how crazy we were, mentioned how much we obsess over watering our lawns, haha.
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Where I live it would only make the tick problem worse.
I think your feminine woman with boundaries can occasionally take part in the riffing or whatever āguy stuffā without losing respect or courtesy, but when a female says she gets along ābetter with guys because theyāre not catty,ā what sheās saying is that sheās not able to connect with half the people in the world. I suspect the cattiness is in her and has to do with territory. That these women actually believe that the men consider them one of them makes me sad.
From your posts here, I think youāre managing this very well without having to alter yourself to fit anyone elseās frame. And even if they do think about having a romantic relationship with you, āIām not looking for that right nowā works beautifully and completely. Thatās the boundary piece.
But when you find someone who can, you know right away that they may be a soul mate. At the very least someone you want to chat with.
Agree. Though Iām not sure I meet the bar on the second goal. I have resources, however.
Chapstick?
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100% of women Iāve known who say that are bitterly jealous of other women, and virtually sprint to make themselves the company inkwell.
Just my observation.
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One of my friends and former coworkers identifies as āsoft butch,ā which I think defines her well. Sheās now married to another friend and former coworker, who is very feminine. Weāre all therapists, so somewhat āsoftā as people, but Butch is an outdoorsman and definitely the āhusbandā of the pair. I would count the butch friend among my husbandās closer friends. We all have land and long driveways, so they talk about their tractors and the wife and I talk about girl things.
My husband is somewhat protective of her. Heās installed bathroom fixtures and such, and will help with heavy stuff. When she borrows heavy tools he delivers them. Heās also more respectful of her than of some of his guy friends.
Sheās a flaming liberal, of course, and heās a bit MAGA. It works, though.
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Exactly.
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Holding chapstick (or a bic lighter, or a roll of quarters if you want) makes your punches heavier. And police wonāt view it as a weapon if you get stopped.
The sock/baseball bat thing is when you swing at someone, usually they will try to grab it, sock slides off in their hand, they get confused and have something in their hands, your second strike hits.
I lived in Florida for a while, everyone had those kind of āhelpfulā tips.
Since itās so ridiculous, hereās more Florida stories.
1.) Used to know a guy named Nelson. His trick was to keep one of those big fishhooks between his fingers and start a fight by slapping their face, getting the hook stuck because it how are you not going to be distracted by a hook in your face, so he could kick them on the ground. He did it to my arm once because he thought it was funny.
2.) Saw a fight that was about to happen, big guy yelling at a stoic smaller guy. Gets in his face yelling and the smaller guy spits in his mouth. I have never seen anyone run away so fast. Didnāt know either of them.
3.) This might be the worst. I was working Sunday brunch as a cook, and some guy got fired, came to the line, cut his palm and bleeds over the food up for service, and then slapped the owner and manager with a bloody hand when they tried to keep him for the cops.
Anyway, the point is people are really creative when it comes to improvised weaponry.
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I find myself guilty of this one a lot even now. I used to devour 6-800 page novels without a second thought. Maybe this is due more to life circumstances (3 kids hinders some time), but I think its a subconscious result of the algorithm age.
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I agree. I only have two kids but their development is more important than my leisure, so quick snippets of stuff works for now. I read to them all the time, so once they start on their own maybe Iāll have the time.
As for algorithms, I hate them. I donāt want curated content based on one search I did choking my feeds. Just let me explore.
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Speaking from the experience of learning Russian and Spanish as an adult and also still working on Mandarin, no it isnāt. Unless you think that Russian and Spanish are even easier. Because they are both definitely easier, at least for native English speakers.
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