10-4!
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
Dear Mr. Cortes:
My office is in receipt of your recent reply to our condolences.
Please be advised that under any reasonable analysis, the condolences expressed previously were clear. Notwithstanding, it appears that our message has caused you confusion based upon your reply. In an effort to clarify the matter further and avoid any additional misinterpretation, we offer the following for your review and reply.
Numerous invitations to provide photographic evidence of identity have been extended to “RogueVampire” (hereinafter, “RV”) by various parties, under various discussion threads within the T-Nation Forums. RV has rejected and/or avoided all such invitations to date. Further be advised that the refusals and protestations thus far offered by RV in refusing said request for photographic evidence is neither compelling nor convincing.
In view of the foregoing, this office has concluded that, more likely than not, RV is not the character depicted in his avatar. If you would like to subject our analysis to more rigorous “scientific inquiry”, please do so at your convenience. Please be advised that should you decide to subject the claims of RV to further inquiry, you do so at your own time and expense. Our office will not participate in any such extended inquiry.
We acknowledge your invitation to refer matters of logic and religion to your office. We regret to inform you that we have previously audited the offices of “Politics and World Issues” and found it unsuitable for the disposition of such matters. However, in light of your personal qualifications, please notify us immediately should you change your affiliation and we shall renew our consideration of your invitation at that time.
Finally, please inform our office when your personal inquiry into this matter is completed and we shall renew our condolences at that time. In the interim, our office is prepared to offer you a one-day pass to Planet Fitness so that you may subject all claims contained within the discussion to rigorous scientific analysis.
Very truly yours,
TheBodyGuard
One Bad Motherfucker Way, Suite 69
Purgatory, NJ 00069[/quote]
TheBodyGuard
One Bad Motherfucker Way, Suite 69
Purgatory, NJ 00069
Dear Mr. TheBodyGuard:
I wanted to let you know that some asshole has been sending people letters with your signature. I’ve enclosed one for your review. Good luck finding him and sorting out the issue.
Sincerely,
PMPM
PMPM/pmpm
Encl.
[/quote]
Dear Ms. PMPM:
I acknowledge receipt of your letter informing TheBodyGuard, Inc. (“TBGI”) of alleged misappropriation of my image and/or likeness. As you are aware, “TheBodyGuard” is a trademarked name and as such, subject to all the protections and remedies available under the law.
TBGI makes formal demand for full disclosure of the parties receiving the alleged unauthorized communications. Please be advised that your letter did not contain the referenced enclosures. Kindly forward the same to me at your earliest convenience.
Please be advised that we shall fully investigate this matter and seek all remedies available under law, and by the right of vengeance.
We thank you for your interest in TBGI and we look forward to your response and cooperation. Please be advised that TBGI is always seeking qualified candidates to join its legal team. We offer an attractive “compensation” program and the TBGI offices are clothing optional. TBGI encourages youth and diversity in its workplace. If you are interested, please forward your resume along with full front and rear nude photos to my personal attention. I shall give your qualifications my personal attention.
Sincerely,
TheBodyGuard
CEO/President
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
Would anyone care to direct me to where this establishment occurred? I only occasionally crawl out of the primordial sludge of PWI to warm my belly in the sunnier forums.
[/quote]
Ooooooooohhhhhh.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh…
Okay. I see.
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
Unless, of course, I am wrong…
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
We regret to inform you.[/quote]
Dear Mr. TheBodyGuard,
Thank you for your timely response.
In this case, I am of a decidedly scientific mind. I am open to being proven wrong.
Unfortunately, it’s a lot easier for them to prove they are who they are than for me to prove they are not.
Please henceforth refer any religious innuendos or references to (il)logic to my office:
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
My office is in receipt of your recent reply to our condolences.
Please be advised that under any reasonable analysis, the condolences expressed previously were clear. Notwithstanding, it appears that our message has caused you confusion based upon your reply. In an effort to clarify the matter further and avoid any additional misinterpretation, we offer the following for your review and reply.
Numerous invitations to provide photographic evidence of identity have been extended to “RogueVampire” (hereinafter, “RV”) by various parties, under various discussion threads within the T-Nation Forums. RV has rejected and/or avoided all such invitations to date. Further be advised that the refusals and protestations thus far offered by RV in refusing said request for photographic evidence is neither compelling nor convincing.
In view of the foregoing, this office has concluded that, more likely than not, RV is not the character depicted in his avatar. If you would like to subject our analysis to more rigorous “scientific inquiry”, please do so at your convenience. Please be advised that should you decide to subject the claims of RV to further inquiry, you do so at your own time and expense. Our office will not participate in any such extended inquiry.
We acknowledge your invitation to refer matters of logic and religion to your office. We regret to inform you that we have previously audited the offices of “Politics and World Issues” and found it unsuitable for the disposition of such matters. However, in light of your personal qualifications, please notify us immediately should you change your affiliation and we shall renew our consideration of your invitation at that time.
Finally, please inform our office when your personal inquiry into this matter is completed and we shall renew our condolences at that time. In the interim, our office is prepared to offer you a one-day pass to Planet Fitness so that you may subject all claims contained within the discussion to rigorous scientific analysis.
Very truly yours,
TheBodyGuard
One Bad Motherfucker Way, Suite 69
Purgatory, NJ 00069[/quote]
Dear TheBodyGuard,
My sincerest apologies are in order.
It appears I was gravely mistaken and that I have been the source of undue trouble to your offices. New information has come to light, and it now appears the original condolences received were more than adequate.
Again, let me express my regret if I was the cause of any undue labor. I would like to offer something in the way of compensation. Unfortunately, all that is currently available is the remainder of this dish of crow. Let me assure you, however, that it is delicious.
Sincerely,
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
I have kenny britt, steve smith(carolina), desean jackson, maclin, and AJ green on my fantasy football team. whch 3 should I start tomorrow?
[quote]dshroy wrote:
I have kenny britt, steve smith(carolina), desean jackson, maclin, and AJ green on my fantasy football team. whch 3 should I start tomorrow?[/quote]
No orcs or centaurs?
Lame.
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
Unless, of course, I am wrong…
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
We regret to inform you.[/quote]
Dear Mr. TheBodyGuard,
Thank you for your timely response.
In this case, I am of a decidedly scientific mind. I am open to being proven wrong.
Unfortunately, it’s a lot easier for them to prove they are who they are than for me to prove they are not.
Please henceforth refer any religious innuendos or references to (il)logic to my office:
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
My office is in receipt of your recent reply to our condolences.
Please be advised that under any reasonable analysis, the condolences expressed previously were clear. Notwithstanding, it appears that our message has caused you confusion based upon your reply. In an effort to clarify the matter further and avoid any additional misinterpretation, we offer the following for your review and reply.
Numerous invitations to provide photographic evidence of identity have been extended to “RogueVampire” (hereinafter, “RV”) by various parties, under various discussion threads within the T-Nation Forums. RV has rejected and/or avoided all such invitations to date. Further be advised that the refusals and protestations thus far offered by RV in refusing said request for photographic evidence is neither compelling nor convincing.
In view of the foregoing, this office has concluded that, more likely than not, RV is not the character depicted in his avatar. If you would like to subject our analysis to more rigorous “scientific inquiry”, please do so at your convenience. Please be advised that should you decide to subject the claims of RV to further inquiry, you do so at your own time and expense. Our office will not participate in any such extended inquiry.
We acknowledge your invitation to refer matters of logic and religion to your office. We regret to inform you that we have previously audited the offices of “Politics and World Issues” and found it unsuitable for the disposition of such matters. However, in light of your personal qualifications, please notify us immediately should you change your affiliation and we shall renew our consideration of your invitation at that time.
Finally, please inform our office when your personal inquiry into this matter is completed and we shall renew our condolences at that time. In the interim, our office is prepared to offer you a one-day pass to Planet Fitness so that you may subject all claims contained within the discussion to rigorous scientific analysis.
Very truly yours,
TheBodyGuard
One Bad Motherfucker Way, Suite 69
Purgatory, NJ 00069[/quote]
Dear TheBodyGuard,
My sincerest apologies are in order.
It appears I was gravely mistaken and that I have been the source of undue trouble to your offices. New information has come to light, and it now appears the original condolences received were more than adequate.
Again, let me express my regret if I was the cause of any undue labor. I would like to offer something in the way of compensation. Unfortunately, all that is currently available is the remainder of this dish of crow. Let me assure you, however, that it is delicious.
Sincerely,
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortez:
We acknowledge receipt of your recent letter. We are pleased with your acknowledgment that our original analysis of the RV matter is consistent with the best practices and rigorous application of science and logic. To wit, that the party representing him/herself as “RV” is in fact a “troll”.
We accept your offer of apology, subject to the terms of the enclosed Release Agreement which, among other things, expressly requires that Cortez, it’s employees, relatives, spouses, affiliates, subsidiaries, etc., forever discharge and Hold Harmless TBGI from any injury, mental anguish, emotional distress and/or both liquidated and unliquidated damages and/or liability arising from your reliance upon representations express or implied by “RV”. In addition, should the preposterous persona of “RV” ever be proven legitimate, TBGI shall bear no responsibility in the matter.
Kindly execute the enclosed Release and return to my attention. Parenthetically, “crow”, like “revenge”, is best served and enjoyed, cold.
We are happy that this matter has been resolved without further hostilities.
Sincerely,
TheBodyGuard
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]dshroy wrote:
I have kenny britt, steve smith(carolina), desean jackson, maclin, and AJ green on my fantasy football team. whch 3 should I start tomorrow?[/quote]
No orcs or centaurs?
Lame.[/quote]
I have Frodo Baggins, but I’m gonna sit him this week.
[quote]dshroy wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]dshroy wrote:
I have kenny britt, steve smith(carolina), desean jackson, maclin, and AJ green on my fantasy football team. whch 3 should I start tomorrow?[/quote]
No orcs or centaurs?
Lame.[/quote]
I have Frodo Baggins, but I’m gonna sit him this week.[/quote]
I bet he’d make a bad-ass kicker.
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
Unless, of course, I am wrong…
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
We regret to inform you.[/quote]
Dear Mr. TheBodyGuard,
Thank you for your timely response.
In this case, I am of a decidedly scientific mind. I am open to being proven wrong.
Unfortunately, it’s a lot easier for them to prove they are who they are than for me to prove they are not.
Please henceforth refer any religious innuendos or references to (il)logic to my office:
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortes:
My office is in receipt of your recent reply to our condolences.
Please be advised that under any reasonable analysis, the condolences expressed previously were clear. Notwithstanding, it appears that our message has caused you confusion based upon your reply. In an effort to clarify the matter further and avoid any additional misinterpretation, we offer the following for your review and reply.
Numerous invitations to provide photographic evidence of identity have been extended to “RogueVampire” (hereinafter, “RV”) by various parties, under various discussion threads within the T-Nation Forums. RV has rejected and/or avoided all such invitations to date. Further be advised that the refusals and protestations thus far offered by RV in refusing said request for photographic evidence is neither compelling nor convincing.
In view of the foregoing, this office has concluded that, more likely than not, RV is not the character depicted in his avatar. If you would like to subject our analysis to more rigorous “scientific inquiry”, please do so at your convenience. Please be advised that should you decide to subject the claims of RV to further inquiry, you do so at your own time and expense. Our office will not participate in any such extended inquiry.
We acknowledge your invitation to refer matters of logic and religion to your office. We regret to inform you that we have previously audited the offices of “Politics and World Issues” and found it unsuitable for the disposition of such matters. However, in light of your personal qualifications, please notify us immediately should you change your affiliation and we shall renew our consideration of your invitation at that time.
Finally, please inform our office when your personal inquiry into this matter is completed and we shall renew our condolences at that time. In the interim, our office is prepared to offer you a one-day pass to Planet Fitness so that you may subject all claims contained within the discussion to rigorous scientific analysis.
Very truly yours,
TheBodyGuard
One Bad Motherfucker Way, Suite 69
Purgatory, NJ 00069[/quote]
Dear TheBodyGuard,
My sincerest apologies are in order.
It appears I was gravely mistaken and that I have been the source of undue trouble to your offices. New information has come to light, and it now appears the original condolences received were more than adequate.
Again, let me express my regret if I was the cause of any undue labor. I would like to offer something in the way of compensation. Unfortunately, all that is currently available is the remainder of this dish of crow. Let me assure you, however, that it is delicious.
Sincerely,
Cortes
1 - Politics and World Issues
Sex and Life Suite #3
T-Nation Forums, 4th floor.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortez:
We acknowledge receipt of your recent letter. We are pleased with your acknowledgment that our original analysis of the RV matter is consistent with the best practices and rigorous application of science and logic. To wit, that the party representing him/herself as “RV” is in fact a “troll”.
We accept your offer of apology, subject to the terms of the enclosed Release Agreement which, among other things, expressly requires that Cortez, it’s employees, relatives, spouses, affiliates, subsidiaries, etc., forever discharge and Hold Harmless TBGI from any injury, mental anguish, emotional distress and/or both liquidated and unliquidated damages and/or liability arising from your reliance upon representations express or implied by “RV”. In addition, should the preposterous persona of “RV” ever be proven legitimate, TBGI shall bear no responsibility in the matter.
Kindly execute the enclosed Release and return to my attention. Parenthetically, “crow”, like “revenge”, is best served and enjoyed, cold.
We are happy that this matter has been resolved without further hostilities.
Sincerely,
TheBodyGuard
[/quote]
Dear Mr. TheBodyGuard,
We appreciate your understanding in this matter.
Rest assured that we have reserved the best portion of the crow, what remained of our own, for you, that you might serve it to your next client at the proper temperature.
One final note. If we may be so bold, might we suggest that you refrain from serving it to anyone immediately? One clip11 also has failed to respond to our repeated requests to identify himself, and I fear a few more bites may be in order.
Sincerely,
Cortes
LOL
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
dude, YOU are the topic.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
It’s all about you, baby. All about you.[/quote]
Oh yes, I forgot, thats not my pic. lol.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
It’s all about you, baby. All about you.[/quote]
Oh yes, I forgot, thats not my pic. lol. [/quote]
Well, that seems to be the consensus, PhantomPicRogue. The consensus continues to build due to your pussified response to the clamor you yourself created with your lofty claims of grandeur.[/quote]
More gold Grape Ape! Tell us about protein synthesis! Tell us about changing corset styles during the 16th century!
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
It’s all about you, baby. All about you.[/quote]
Oh yes, I forgot, thats not my pic. lol. [/quote]
Well, that seems to be the consensus, PhantomPicRogue. The consensus continues to build due to your pussified response to the clamor you yourself created with your lofty claims of grandeur.[/quote]
what lofty claims. lol. I just said I was a big dude. Never said i was ripped or said i was anything other than what I actually am.
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
It’s all about you, baby. All about you.[/quote]
Oh yes, I forgot, thats not my pic. lol. [/quote]
Well, that seems to be the consensus, PhantomPicRogue. The consensus continues to build due to your pussified response to the clamor you yourself created with your lofty claims of grandeur.[/quote]
what lofty claims. lol. I just said I was a big dude. Never said i was ripped or said i was anything other than what I actually am. [/quote]
Just one quick snap with that webcam you’ve got there and piece of paper indicating this website will clear this whole thing right up.
Unless, of course, you are lying…
[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]roguevampire wrote:
wow, what on earth are you guys babbling about. keep it on topic.[/quote]
It’s all about you, baby. All about you.[/quote]
Oh yes, I forgot, thats not my pic. lol. [/quote]
Well, that seems to be the consensus, PhantomPicRogue. The consensus continues to build due to your pussified response to the clamor you yourself created with your lofty claims of grandeur.[/quote]
what lofty claims. lol. I just said I was a big dude. Never said i was ripped or said i was anything other than what I actually am. [/quote]
you are lying.
[/quote]
Dear Mr. Cortez:
Your last forum thread post was brought to the attention of our offices. In the spirit of cooperation and the best practices of peer review, we took the liberty of “fixing your post”. We hope you do not object.
Sincerely,
TheBodyGuard