Merry Christmas good lad!
1 Like
Merry Christmas!
100% the case for me as well. I’m always happy when December and January are over.
I read what you wrote – heavy stuff, though it was difficult for me to make out a few words. Do you write stuff like this often?
Do you feel like the pandemic itself has affected things?
1 Like
Best of luck getting through. I realize this is a difficult time for a lot of people. Although when I was younger I presumed it was for the reason that they would have to spend the holidays alone ot r missing those who have passed and I didn’t realize that there are other reasons that trigger such a response too.
I was wondering if you’d be able to (not in small parts due to my child like hand writing but also because some things could be seen as out of context if one didn’t have the background information that are my thoughts).
No. I mean I used to. I had a little notebook for a while in which I would write thoughts before bed or cathartic rants similar to the above. The writing above in it’s style (I wouldn’t dare to call it poetry, more like aimless cathartics in text form) isn’t something I do regularely.
As weird as it may sound but I seem to be far less influenced by the pandemic than others I have talked to. I find acceptance of the situation as the current form of reality relatively easy. It’s not that I’m not bothered by the events but I wouldn’t say I’m suffering more because of it than anyone else.
Edit:
I don’t mind if you have follow up questions btw. If I did, I wouldn’t have shared this publicly (although aware that the number of people who would be able to read this is pretty small).
I mean, I felt like I got the jist of a lot of it, even if I don’t know most if not all of the context.
Are they aimless though? There’s nothing wrong with writing being therapeutic in a way. Though it doesn’t have to be, and it is okay for it to be aimless, too.
I don’t think that’s weird. I think it eventually becomes exhausting for people to be so affected by it for this long. I wouldn’t spend these times differently if there weren’t a pandemic, but these past couple of years have felt less like Christmas than usual. It’s not better or worse though.
Haha, I suppose there are not too many Germans on this forum. Unless that was also a knock on your handwriting’s quality. Prying makes me feel intrusive, but
“Wenn ich mich von außen sehe, hätte ich mich gerne in meinem Leben, würde aber nicht mein Leben wählen.”
Why you wrote that makes sense to me based on what I do know. It’s an interesting sentence. I think I feel the reverse, haha.
I know there’s a lot of benefits to having me around as a friend for example. I’m a very helpful person, empathic, intelligent and loyal to the point of stupidity. However it’s more enjoyable to have me in your life than to change the point of view and have my life. I do define myself to a certain degree through this behavior, so it’s questionable if this is really as selfless of an act as I would like it to be.
I don’t know a lot about you personally, which I realize is on purpose but it doesn’t seem from what one can gather, that you would need to feel that way in regards to providing value to other people’s lives.
Both, haha.
No. Just not aimed at a defined purpose.
Merry Christmas!
I’m sorry things have been rough.
I hope things look up. All the best!
1 Like
To you too, Anna!
Things aren’t too bad at all. Less rough than I’m used to. The holidays are just amplifying underlying issues for some people.
Life sucks in a lot of ways, but if you can still describe yourself like this and be someone you’d want to be around despite all you’ve experienced, I’d consider that a win, even if it sometimes feels like a small one. That goes for anyone but I figure especially for you.
I think people choose to value themselves in specific ways, and in the end that comes down to the self. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with this, but it is maybe dangerous in the “how.” This sounds fake deep to me but whatever. It seems difficult to self-describe as “selfless” because you are automatically The Self (unless someone volunteers all day, every day or something like this), and this is probably why the term is usually used to describe others more often than oneself.
We also all feel like we are The Protagonist in life, not only because we are wired that way but also because society glamorizes it. Stories must happen to us only because we are so great, clever, and courageous. It’s not fun to realize that life is for the most part mundane, or, so that I do not diminish your experiences or someone else’s as simply boring, kinda awful. Of course it would also be a stretch to say that everyone feels like they would choose an entirely different life, but I think my point still holds.
Ha, I feel like I’ve overshared on many occasions here.
So, I think my take is more nuanced. I don’t think that I don’t provide value to other people’s lives if given the chance – I am actually very confident in that sense. I feel a lot of people would agree. Even more, chance granted me an extremely comfortable life. Maybe I wish I were born a little earlier, but I would choose my life again if I had a do-over. I am happy about that. I am only not so sure I would choose myself, if that makes any sense.
1 Like
Merry Christmas mate. Not always the most fun time of the year (I can relate somewhat), but you at least have a lot of internet strangers in your corner.
2 Likes
Fully concur. I’m a pretty pragmatic guy. Life is no more or less than ehat we make of it. Our sum of experiences. Just as people are neither good not bad “within”, they are the sum of their actions.
Yeah I misinterpreted your point earlier, thanks for clarifying.
1 Like
Merry Christmas big man.
Hope you have an awesome one.
1 Like
25.12.
Finally felt good enough to train. I brought my deadlift bar with me so that I can stick to the program while I visit my parents.
1 deadlift
3 x 5 @ 60 kg
5 @ 100 kg
3 @ 140 kg
2 @ 180 kg
1 @ 200 kg
1 @ 212,5 kg
2 @ 225 kg
1 @ 225 kg
Meant to be a triple. I don’t want to get too negative again but the road I am on currently is a rather bumpy one.
2 power jerk
4 x 4 @ 107,5 kg
3 bent over row
3 x 12 @ 75 kg
4 cyclist squats
3 x 15 @ 60 kg
Not sure what happened. Change of environment, the holidays, the vaccine, headspace. Haven’t worked out in -9°C in a while as well. It is what is and I’m going to keep putting in the work. Most likely from here we could repeat the week’s top set or move on to 235 x 2 which puts me in reach of the goal. Not an easy call to make. I feel like the strength for today’s triple should have absolutely been there and it was just the circumstances that prevented me from manifesting it. Not that it matters when the bar isn’t coming up.
I think my immune system hasn’t settled down fully yet. I’m pretty out of it after this session and I felt very sluggish and k.o. all day yesterday.
That leaves us with the option of proceeding as planned or just chilling out even more and starting the week over next week. I don’t want to make that call and am leaving it up to Paul.
2 Likes
@Voxel @Cyrrex @dagill2 merry christmas to you too, lads! Let’s raise the glas, shall we?
Sorry, forgot to respond to the well wishes, haha.
2 Likes
Don’t need to tell me twice
1 Like
Apologies for skimming over this by the way. I made a note to come back and reread, without noticing that it was in German.
If there’s anything I can do to help fella, just let me know. I believe you have my email.
1 Like
The like was because I appreciate the effort you went to to learn German for this post.
1 Like
LOL! No, I speak German already. I requested the post be deleted, however, because nothing I wrote is really terribly helpful. When it comes to these things, I’m also sure @Koestrizer is already in much better, more professional hands.
2 Likes
Thanks man, I appreciate that you took the time to write this out. They’re definitely valuable reminders of what I should know qnd practice.
2 Likes
All good mate, I’m not a in a particularly bad spot right now. Just a bit of deep digging and cathartic writing to see what actually manifests, if I let it so to say.
1 Like
Paul made the call to rest up today and then repeat the week exactly as it was. We discussed going up in weight on anything other than deadlifts but he argued it would drive up overall fatigue. I still had some activity today
1 walk
About an hour down to the graveyard and back. Beautiful weather despite the cold.
2 exercise bike
Just some steady state for 2 episodes of family guy.
3 infrared sauna.
In other news I treated myself to some new knee wraps with the guidance of the wisdompig @guineapig . So I’ll have to manipulate Paul into letting me squat stupidly heavy in the near future, haha. I’m sure I can get some fuckery in after this cycle anyway.
5 Likes