I’d apologize to her. Then some time when the emotions aren’t running so high discuss your needs and wants with her.
Your parents are accustomed to thinking of you as a child, someone they have to protect against the world, it’s tough to make the transition to treating you as an adult.
Here’s how to help them see you as more responsible AND as a young adult with needs for space and privacy. I’d start with doing the things you know they want you to do first. Once every thing is completed you can start your workout, then when they come to you griping you can stop between sets and and say, it’s done already. Also when teenagers talk to their parents they frequently have the whining tone of voice that drives adults up the wall. Remain respectful, don’t sigh, look away or anything, look them in the eye and simply state your case. If they don’t agree, say I disagree but I will respect your decision. It will take time but as your body language and other behavior shows maturity they’ll start to treat you like a mature person.
Oh and guess what, my wife doesn't understand either. I was doing pullovers yesterday and she came to the gym, interrupted my set and put my son on my stomach while I was in the middle of the set. I'm not saying it's a woman thing, people who are new to training don't understand how dangerous that is. If you tell them, they say well you shouldn't do it. Just adapt. In the long run it won't matter that you stopped your sets when your mom came in, as long as you're consistent, your body will continue to change.
I can’t believe that several so called T-Men actually can justify in their minds that a 17 year old boy, or any male for that matter, has the right to put his hands on any woman, especially one’s own mother. What kind of space cowboys are we breeding these days? More like E-Men than T-Men. If I had ever done that, you can better believe that I would be out on the street. You can do one of two things: Apologize and MEAN it or move out and support yourself. For your parents well being, I hope you move out! They deserve better.
If I’m in the middle of a set, I stop when I’m done, period. It doesn’t matter who’s yelling at me, they can wait 30sec and if they try to grab the stuff away from me they’ll have a problem. So what if you pushed your mom? Did it leave a big bruise, red spot or a scar? You said it wasn’t even violent, so you of course you weren’t trying to hurt her. I think I would have done the same thing, even though my mom knows better than to bug me in the middle of a set. She’s the same with dieting as well. My dad saw how much I’ve leaned up, so he’s dooing the same thing (except for the geetting drunk every sat. afternoon on his ‘cheat day’). She says he should go on a doctor supervised low-fat diet(duh).
You are a goof for pushing your mother, but people who say they would beat you down because “you don’t have a right to put you hands on a woman” are conflicted morons. Still, you need to learn to manage your life and not be an emotional teen ager (it will take 3 years). Apologize and buy headphones, do all your chores before you workout and all your problems are solved. Your parents are looking out for you, but the ability to handle people close to you is more important than big muscles.
I can’t stand this “they pay your bills so respet them” bullshit. I respect my parents for thier kindness, compassion, and for treating ME with respect. That whole pay your own bills line is bullshit.
Thinks you should thank God above that I am not your Father. If I was you would be getting major reconstructive surgery on your jaw right about now. There is NO excuse for laying your hands on your mother…NONE whatsoever. As far as doing housework, I cook better than the Vixen, and with her laid up, I also do the laundry, clean the house, and do the dishes. If you think it is unmanly, come over and visit me anytime, and I will happly demonstrate for you EXACTLY how T-mannish I can be. I know I am rough with my tone, but you have to RESPECT your parents. They tell you to do something…you go and do it THEN…not later…THEN. Moving that laundry would have taken 2 minutes…and one lousy set is NOT worth screwing up your relationship with your parents. Guess what buddy…you have a year to go…then they can toss your ass out on the street…then you will see what real life is about and exactly everything they do for you. Until then…follow orders! Geeezzz!!
I love these types of posts because it just confirms how many @#&%$^s are drawn to weight training.
If you want to make up your own rules, move out. Otherwise, do what your parents ask you to do, when they ask you to do it.
Listen, all you guys telling him to kiss his moms feet, and take it in the ass, and never hit women, and all this other shit is rediculous. It’s all social conditioning. Why not hit a woman? If she hits you with intent to injure you, you shouldn’t hit back? Why? At that point she’s not a woman anymore, she’s a vicious animal looking to harm you.
As with the mom thing. Listen. You pushed her or whatever. NO BIG DEAL. If she wants respect, she's gotta earn it. And you don't earn it by invading peoples space, or disrespecting other people's spaces. Don't matter who you are. Mom or not, human being is a human being. Tell her to grow the fuck up. Do her own laundry.
You need to RESPECTFULLY apologize to your mother and ask her to forgive you. In fairness, she should probably be more considerate of your situation in the middle of a workout (but who knows, maybe it was the eighth time–seven before your workout–she told you to do your chores) and probably should not have tried to take the dumbells away from you. That said, it sounds like she was extremely angry, which is not surprising given how incredibly inappropriate your response was. It is not your place to tell her when you will do your chores. You should either have done the chore she instructed you to do at the moment she instructed you to do it or have RESPECTFULLY REQUESTED that you perform it at the end of your workout. She is your mother. You owe her respect even when she fails to treat you with respect–and that is not merely because she is paying your way, though your attitude indicates a profound lack of gratitude. Your parents have already done for you what you can never hope to repay. Unless she is or has been incredibly abusive–and I mean as in your needing to go into foster care abusive–she deserves your respect for the simple fact that she is your mother.
As for losing the weights and car until you apologize: Count yourself lucky. They should take your car and weights and demand an apology and then THINK about the conditions under which you get your car and weights back–if ever. Sometimes even good parents raise jerks for kids, but I’m sensing you’re a jerk because your parents are jerks (though I have to consider the source for my information about them). I can’t imagine a responsible parent letting you off with a mere apology. I suspect these problems you’re having with your parents wouldn’t exist had they raised you better. Never the less, you owe them profound gratitude (yes, a response they evidently haven’t taught you to have) and respect. If you don’t start honoring your parents–though they may be incrdibly imperfect–expect your life to get worse, even after you leave home.
Because they’re paying the bills?! He’s their fucking son, not a tenant!! I gotta wonder what kind of person would throw their own flesh-&-blood son out on the street with nothing for ANY reason, or bust up his face so bad he needs reconstructive surgery. I AM lucky I don’t have people like you for parents.
Apologize tell her how important it is and that she would not like it if you interrupted her when she was trying to watch her soap operas. Put a lock on the door or set-up a time to lift when they are gone or asleep. Unless you lift for an excessively long time I’m sure she can wait say 45 minutes to tell you a/b the wash! Respect goes both ways!
It would probably be almost impossible to study this, but I would be willing to bet that there is an uncanny correlation between the advice that has been given on this thread AND each individuals relationship (or lack of one) with his or her parent(s). There is a LOT of anger and pain out there, folks, and it comes accross in some or these responses.
For the record, me and my mom are great friends. Therefore, I told d-dawg to apologize and TALK to his parents, especially his mom. Just my take on things…
Heya T-freaks. To back up my argument, I consulted an expert in this field: Mommy Monkey. My Mom said that the act of interfering in a workout especially during a set is both inappropriate and dangerous. She continued by stating that she would never invade my privacy or disrespect me by doing something like that. Sure, I’d take a bullet or a billy club to the skull for Mommy, but I would never, NEVER risk a broken toe so that the garbage could be taken out 2 minutes earlier. Neither would any of you. Lata.
i dont support him pushing his mom, but as he said it, it was a completely defensive move, not aggressive. For everyone out there saying how they’d beat the shit out of him if he was their son, i got news for you. Barbaric punishment,(while not as bad) is on about the same level as barbarically beating one’s wife or mother. And if a women ever did attack me (note i am not talking about some one just grabbing me, like his mom did),i would fight back. People are spitting out their philosophical views that women are so precious and weak that men should never touch them which is bullshit. The guy asked for him advice, give him advice, but don’t overstate the matter and give him a Sermon.
strass(or whatever your name is)“if a woman hits you,you shouldn’t hit her back?” NO, what does it prove, that would be like me putting my hands on someone like you. to the people that say the “they pay the bills” line is bullshit and that they should not bother you till your done and your parents have to earn YOUR respect, are you people fuching crazy! fact is they DO pay the bills and maybe the little ingrate should learn a lesson about life that sometimes you HAVE to do things that the people in charge want you to do(in this case his parents) and if you have a problem with that I hope your rich or don’t mind liveing on the streets, as for your parents earning YOUR respect, they EARN your respect everytime they go to work(do you think THEY realy want to do what their told to do at work) they EARN your repect everytime they feed you,they EARN your respect everytime they pay the rent, they probably paid for the wts. you were useing, they EARN your respect everytime they put cloths on your back, I also hope that you know that now they are probably talking about whether or not your on juice (remember ALL parents believe in “roid rage”) To the guy that said these responces were filled w/anger and wondered what our relationship with our parents was like let me say I have said things in anger I did not mean and said I was sory after, but I have never put my hands on my parents and infact my parents have never put their hands on me.I saw my father go to his second job 4hrs after getting home from his first,I saw my parents do without things so I would not have to( when you see your dad use a weeks pay on a new glove,new easton bat,and new shoes so you feel like the other kids on the baseball team you learn what respect is) what scares me is that someday someone like this kid is gonna ask my kid out on a date but I’m sure my child would say NO
Don’t give your mother respect until she earns it. You did the right thing and your parents are wrong. People have to learn that just because you are old it doesn’t mean you deserve respect. To say you can’t bitch until you pay the bills is the most oppresive thing a person can say. Young people today are forced to be dependent on older people. Even if you tried to get a job not many people would hire you because of your age. You did nothing wrong, your mother and fater should not be so ignorant.
Wow, I can’t believe how long and petty this thread and the tired arguments are. First, the advice is simple. Do like Mufasa and a few other people said. Apologize and get your chores done before your work outs. Explain that this is important to you and show that through the discipline of getting your stuff done timely and when asked. This will show that you are willing to do what it takes to accomplish your goals (not just dieting and hefting weights, but vacuuming, washing dishes, and any other time consuming activity). They will respect you more. Now who knows if their the types of parents that will actually take their young teenage son’s requests seriously (my foster parents sure didn’t). Also, the people offering to hand this young cat a beating because he pushed his mother? Get over yourselves. Either you’re trying to seem to heroic to the T-vixens here in the forum or just think too much of yourself. He’s 17, damn it. He didn’t shove he to the floor and pummel her Cimmerian-style. In the heat of the moment, she invaded his space and he re-acted. And rather well for a hot-headed 17 y/o boy who was in the middle of a work-out. No one should lay a hand on you just to get your attention. I also agree with you that a woman shouldn’t be hit, but cool out. Also, the whole paying all his bills shit is true but tired. Who knows if his parents are just some selfish tight-ass people that pay his bills only because the state says they have to take care of their kids (not saying your parents are like that, dawg). Would you use that same line of reasoning with a parent that never sees their kid but pays child support? I mean, he’s paying the bills, isn’t he or she? Do they get the same respect as a parent at home paying bills? Since no one truly knows the full nature of what is going on, how can you take it upon yourself to brow beat this kid? Give him advice to the best of your ability and move on.
First of all, I think alot of people on this thread are over dramatizing the “pushing” your mom thing. You didn’t knock her down and jump on her head.
Your mother has her own self-control issues. Had you dropped that weight on your head when she tried to jerk them out of you hands, she wouldn’t be feeling like a good mother, would she. Besides, your 17…she ISN’T
I had similar situations when I was a teen with my dad. He’s an old fashioned country guy. He used to make fun of me constantly about the weight lifting thing…saying 'I wanted to have a pretty body (insinuating gay stuff), or I wanted to be a bad ass muscle man. He would never listen to me about health and fitness. We would yell at each other about it.
I’m 23 years old now. I still work out and he still teases me about it. The deal is, he has major back problems and high blood pressure. I don’t…get it?
I gave up defending myself along time ago. I stopped lifting at home (used the high school gym until I moved out on my own).
In other words dude, relax…you’ve got a couple years before you can do your own thing. When your parents are 80 years old and need a healthy person around to mow the lawn and help care for them, you’ll be around. Then they will get it.