P.M. SEX & Morality Redux

Well I missed the whole morality thread due to a vacation and wanted to get my $0.02 in – specifically on the God and premarital sex business.

First, I do believe in God, and he’s not up there just to smack us every time we get out of line and act as some sort of cosmic killjoy whenever it looks like we’re having fun. I believe that he knows more than us, (specifically omniscient) even as we know more than children of two or three. You tell a child not to touch a stove or run in the street because you know the possible consequences. God knows the consequences of certain actions and sets out guidelines because he has our best interests at heart.

On to sex. I had lots of pre-marital sex- so did my friends, roommates, etc. I saw firsthand people unknowingly passing around STD’s. In fact, one girl I knew broke up with her boyfriend (who had taken her virginity) and went to a bar to drown her emotions. She got wasted and went home with a guy. She’d never done anything like it before but this first one- night stand turned into a lifetime with herpes. She was totally devastated. I’ve also seen people get pregnant and go through the whole abortion deal. Anyone that tells you such things don’t affect you on a deep emotional level is lying. Anyone that says it can’t happen to them is not well read on disease, pregnancy, and statistics.

So anyway, if you’re lucky enough to get past all that you’re still not getting away free. If you’re sleeping with someone you don’t get a chance to know them. Seriously. How can you get to know someone when all you can think about is getting in their panties?

Here’s an analogy: Sex is like an anabolic steroid. If you walk into the gym for the first time and start doing a gram/week of AAS you’re probably going to grow even if your diet/training/recovery is not in order. You’ll do fine until the cycle ends. Then all of a sudden you can’t make any progress. Maybe you start going backwards because you never really established a foundation upon which to build. You don’t know the fundamentals.

That’s what I found happened when I’d jump the gun. I’ve got friends in their 30’s and beyond still playing the field, still picking up the easy chicks for casual flings. But eventually that gets old. Deep down everyone wants that special someone – that “marriage material” type hottie that can keep them going for years.

This is getting way too long, but when I finally focused on establishing relationships without the relational anabolic of sex I finally scored a T-vixen wife. And wouldn’t it be extra-special if we were each other’s first? Wouldn’t that be something truly special? (Is this the Clomid talking?)

Anyway, my T-bros & sisters, just something to ponder.

Man, hate to burst you dream-bubble of being the One`s first, but the more you advance past 20, the more it rests in Dreamland.

Anyway, Im a far more complete person precisely because of pollination with different others in my past. Its a learning curve thing…if you take the time to think of what you live through between cycles and let lessons sink in one by one.

As for the Dream One, it is possible, just very improbable. Youd have to find someone at the same start position as you, have to cross your fingers that both of you evolve at the same speed, and that your conflict management skills are fine either side does not butt out at the first...er...shit ;0) You know, some things you only learn on the terrain, and some sides of you and the others you cannot know otherwise too. You cant know if it is indeed the real one until the first conflicts happen and the dust falls…nobody wishes for it, but that`s sadly how you separate the adults from the children…not always when things go fine…

Like I said, improbable but not impossible. The good part of having had other before is that when you DO find The One, all the exes will have been batting practice that will serve you well and make the other appreciate you even more, cause youre tried, tested and true`.

Anyway. Its your call. Make it like you want. Keep an open mind. The best surprises are frequently the best teachers. Shopping wisely before committing is never a bad policy. Takes out the buyers remorse thing out of the mental way too. Ehehehe. =0)

Warhorse…thats one of the best posts I ahve read in a long while!
I am in the same boat as you…except I havent found a T-Vixen with good values yet…

Good analogy. I agree with you.