Came in town to visit a buddy and he told me that he has been using sites like Lavalife and Match to do some online dating. Apparently lavalife has a section if you want just intimate encounters and so far he says they are panning out for him. They email a bit, eventually meet up and hit it. That’s not exactly what I’m looking for but it’s sounda appealing. I was looking at the tamer version on match and did see a lot of people in my area that would be interesting to talk to. Do I waste 20 bucks trying this out? Has anyone here or any of their friends tried any of these things with success. I’m recently laid off and have a lot of time on my hands to go out if I like and this sounds interesting if they’re not a bunch of weirdos on the boards. Any info would be great.
Hey, give it a shot. I moved to the east coast where I didn’t know anyone. I am kinda shy and a slow starter. I joined match and dated about 7 women in two and a half months. Only one of them was weird and another one just rambled on and on about her ex when we met. The rest were cool and I actually hooked up with the last one and am engaged. It works pretty well with the emailing back and forth, weeding out undesirables.
Go for it! It’s a great way to meet people and as someone else said, email really allows you to weed out people with out any contact.
Be sure to never lie or exagurate (too much) because if you ever meet the girl she's gonna be pissed! that happened to me in college, I met a guy I had been talking to for a while and he got about 30 pounds heavier and 4 inches shorter on the drive to my campus.
It's worth the $20
Well, I tried computer dating back in the day (back in the no-email day, that is) and didn’t have much luck. One woman epitomized the term “mousey”, the other described herself over the phone as “athletic” and talked about how she was going out for her beach bike ride after we got off the phone - but when I met her she was at least 200 lbs. (Not a bad 200 lbs, but still…) So my theory on this is that it’s probably not too good of a deal for a guy; i.e. any reasonably attractive woman won’t need to do computer dating, so your pool of prospects won’t be that great. Still, things could have changed in the interim…
Depends what age you are. If you’re under 30, I wouldn’t waste your time, unless you like depressed, highschool drop-outs, with children, and who “just got out of a bad relationship”. I’m not saying that this is absolute, but it has been my experience (and I spent a good 6 months looking). But if michelle used one I think it would be worth the $20.
I have had average success with them. I am in a lower populated area which I think tends to lend itself to lower success. What I would recommend though is that you include a picture with emails you send or with a posting. Then either only respond to emails that include pictures or only respond to advertisements which have them. Also be wary of the women who never want to actually go on dates. I have had two or three of these women. They will gladly email back and fourth forever, but never ever want to date. There also can be good looking women on there, usually though they are shy, but not always.
I just think its a lot easier. I get to screen out people who seemed cool at the beginning but um… aren’t, and they get to decide if they don’t want to talk to me either. As Char-dawg illustrated, don’t bother lieing, it just gets you in the end.
I did it because I don't like bars all that much, and I hate meeting guys who seem 'cool' but really just want to get a piece. The online thing removes all the pressure, it goes as fast or as slow as we want and I don't give out my phone number or meet for a few weeks usually. This allows me to make a clean break if necessary... and it is more often than not. Out of maybe 50 emails I find 5 that I'm interested in replying to, and out of those 5 maybe 2 that I want to continue talking to.
I think I've had decent luck... I've met 7 or 8 people from on line, 3 I went out with more than once. Out of those 3, 2 lasted over 6 months. In 4 years, that's not all that horrible.
Some advice:
- Put up your picture.
- There are usually many more men than women on the boards, so be sure your reply will catch her eye.
- Don't just say 'you seem cool, write to me' That is the world's lamest email and will assure no responses. A paragraph or 2 email is good, and don't just re-write what is in your profile, because that's the next place she is going to go after she reads your email.
- Your profile should not include who your first grade teacher was (I saw this once)
A friend of mine and I (I got a few freinds into online stuff) sit infront of her computer with a bottle - or two - of wine and answer emails and write to guys. It's a lot of fun, and I can be pretty funny when I'm buzzing!!!!
Tim - I'm not a 'depressed, highschool drop-outs, with children, and who "just got out of a bad relationship"' *laugh* Thanks for the props. *grin*
yeah i use message boards like that all the time. I only want “intimate encounters”, and I have hooked up with some pretty wild females. Some of them are real sluts and hotter than the chicks I can usually get. The one last week gave me oral for like an hour then let me spill my milkshake onto her face. I love online dating!
If you have no problem meeting chicks in real life, forget about personals. Most of the women there are low quality, sure you will find someone interesting out of 20 losers. I tried it to see what happens, both replied to ads and put my own ad where I honestly wrote that I am a bad ass jerk and only want to have a good time, so nice boring or ugly women shouldn’t even consider applying. Anyway got many responces, met about 10-15 chicks only two interested me enuff to have sex with. I’d rather spend all that time meeting them in real life, so many times they say ‘i have athletic body’ which means she is fat but goes to the gym. At least in real life you see what you get. Think about it, real hot bitches have pelnty of guys hitting on them all the time. Why would they want to post an ad, unless they want someting more or are looking for a guy who is different, but those are about one in a hundred. Don’t waste your time.
I found that online you can find out if you have compatible interests and personalities but you never know if you’re going to spark in person. I talked to about a dozen women and met three. Two of the three posted/sent pictures misrepresenting their appearance. The term ‘athletic’ does tend to mean “I’m overweight but go to the gym.” : )
I prefer to meet my women the old fashioned way, at clubs and through friends, I know if there is a physical attraction immediately and I can weed out idiots pretty quickly.
There are some success stories with online dating, my ex-wife will likely be marrying the guy she met from Match fairly soon, they’ve been dating a year and a half and recently started house hunting. However, she is a hot little brunette with a very high paying professional job and had dozens of responses per day as well as doctors flying into town from other states to meet her. As a male you’ll have to do most of the pursuing for the attractive women, just like in the “real world.” : )
I think michelle had some excellent points, but I do have a few to add: ask for their phone number on the 2nd email. Call them a day or two later and set up a coffee date. That way you can meet them in a causual (and cheap) atmosphere, and don’t waste time fantisizing about Cindy Crawford, when she really looks like some lady that would cause the “show to be over” (I hope some of you got that). Also, while you’re at it either check out (you might be able to get it through interlibrary loan) or buy, “How to Succeed with Women”, not 100% accurate, but damn better than any other book I’ve read on the subject (and I’ve read quite a few).