I totally understand. I was there, too. For me, I had to realize food was not the enemy. And it really did boil down to trusting myself.
And because physique was my primary concern, trusting the mirror.
If you like what you’re seeing, if your strength is holding (or better yet, increasing), and if you’re feeling as good as any adult with real responsibilities can expect to feel, I’d say you’re in the sweet spot.
But I really do understand: It is not easy!
Luckily, this community is here for exactly this reason.
Here’s an early thread I posted shortly after joining the forums; I haven’t re-read it, to be honest, and I don’t think I will, given where I am. But it might help: