Down in Newport Beach with a bunch of buddies and my GF. Got plastered at a bar about 5 minutes from his house. Decided to go back early with GF. Thought it’d be cool if we raced. I yelled, “go!” and started running. I looked back and realized she wasn’t racing me.
I woke up in a haze with a pounding headache. I reached for my forehead and felt something warm and sticky. GF was pretty upset. I was annoyed with her and blamed it on her.
GF goes to get friends. Friends arrive (all completely plastered). I’m worried at this point, as blood is everywhere. They tell me I should go to the emergency room, but tell me the next morning I said something like fuck that I’m not paying that much money. Friend tells me that when he was in Iraq they used to use super glue to seal the wound. Apparently, I think this is a great idea at the time.
I wake up the next morning and look at my face and almost cry. I am not a vein person, but god damn I look ugly. I wake my friends up and ask WTF happened. They tell me. Then they laugh.
I go to a hospital; the doctor doesn’t show very much pity for me. They have to chip the dried super glue out of the wound and stitch it up.
Oh, forgot, I ran into a sign (no it wasn’t a stop sign, though sometimes when I tell the story I say it was as it makes it that much better)
Pissed on a car in the streets of Philly with tons of ppl around
Shit my pants, and pissed my bed in Mexico. Surprised I didn’t die that night.
Found dancing around my neighborhood by my brother and his friend after they wondered where I had gone.
Fucked fat chicks…on more than one occasion
Went balcony hopping butt ass naked in mexico in broad daylight. Full renovation and construction was going on behind me so all the mexican workers saw me balcony hopping…definite no homo on that one
Shit and threw up while passing out butt naked on the toilet during a party I was having at my house. My gf found me that night.
So many others I can’t even mention them…gotta love HS and post HS drunken stories
Pissed on a car in the streets of Philly with tons of ppl around
Shit my pants, and pissed my bed in Mexico. Surprised I didn’t die that night.
Found dancing around my neighborhood by my brother and his friend after they wondered where I had gone.
Fucked fat chicks…on more than one occasion
Went balcony hopping butt ass naked in mexico in broad daylight. Full renovation and construction was going on behind me so all the mexican workers saw me balcony hopping…definite no homo on that one
Shit and threw up while passing out butt naked on the toilet during a party I was having at my house. My gf found me that night.
So many others I can’t even mention them…gotta love HS and post HS drunken stories[/quote]
Did you ever stop and think that maybe drinking isn’t for you?
once I was so wasted at my bosses house at some party with other co-workers, i remember feelin’ sick at his table sitting down, I put arms out in front of me put head down and just commenced to barf all over my jeans. Then my boss trys to start wipin me clean all over my crotch infront of everyone. Damn I felt like a little retarded kid.
Never again will i mix tequila beer and other random shit.
Pissed on a car in the streets of Philly with tons of ppl around
Shit my pants, and pissed my bed in Mexico. Surprised I didn’t die that night.
Found dancing around my neighborhood by my brother and his friend after they wondered where I had gone.
Fucked fat chicks…on more than one occasion
Went balcony hopping butt ass naked in mexico in broad daylight. Full renovation and construction was going on behind me so all the mexican workers saw me balcony hopping…definite no homo on that one
Shit and threw up while passing out butt naked on the toilet during a party I was having at my house. My gf found me that night.
So many others I can’t even mention them…gotta love HS and post HS drunken stories
Did you ever stop and think that maybe drinking isn’t for you?
You must’ve had a hell of a birthday, Football.[/quote]
Oh I tell myself all the time I’ll never drink again haha. Never seems to stick though.
As for my birthday…well let’s just say I had to wash my bed spread the next day and probly have a warrant out for my arrest for destroying the local wawa’s parking lot, sidewalk and trash cans.
long night of drinking whiskey, went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night opened up my dresser because i thought it was the toilet and pissed all over my clothes and also on a box full of books that was right next to my dresser. I had no recollection of doing it the next day until i went to get some clothes reached my hands in there and everything was soaking. I thought hmmm why the hell are my clothes all wet.
Of course then it dawned on me, i smelled my hands and sure enough urine !!! ok but the worst part is that i didn’t know that i peed in the box next to my dresser, i had just moved in to my house a few days ago, i moved the box into my closet and forgot about it. A week later i noticed this nasty ass smell coming out of my closet, it was fuucking foul. I couldn’t find out were it was coming from, and my girlfriend thought the people that lived there before me had cats that pissed in my closet and the smell was just coming up.
SO i called the manager and said there was a really strong smell coming from inside my closet and i thought it was the carpet. they agreed to come check it out the next day. before they came i decided to do some more detective work, i found the box that i had urinated in and wow how embarrassing was that. I had to call back the manager and tell them a made up story so they wouldn’t come check out the carpet lol, or my box full of human peeeeeee !!!
I was partying at Mizzou. Lost all my friends in a drunken stupor so I find a giant stuffed tiger for a new friend. Me and the tiger walk into a room full of girls sleeping and say “we’re here for the gangbang” …needless to say there was no gangbang Plus I hurt my ankle by trying to climb a tree and the branch broke.
On a side note, I can’t wait for Patty’s Day tomorrow!
Fucked a fat chick in my buddies front yard at 4 in the morning.
Fucked a fine chick in the bathroom of a taqueria at 4 in the morning.
Had realisticly 40-50 drunken one night stands in the past 2 + years, though I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past 6 months. I now don’t go out much without my girl 'cause it’s easy to get oneself in trouble.
The other night I was so drunk, I Went on a stone throwing rampage on the beach for an hour and a half, realised it was 5 in the morning and was also a 25 minute walk away from my house…
[quote]Westclock wrote:
jchenky wrote:
I was very drunk friday night.
There was guy wearing a “tapout” shirt. (I hate those shirts)
We had a conversation about it. I told him I hated Tapout and started undressing him. I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off and then put his sweater back on for him.
Poor guy. Now I feel like a girl version of a douchebag.
Dont feel bad for him. Hes going to wear that shirt more often.
Not only did you start talking to him, but he got some drunk girl to take his clothes off.
You dont seem to understand how males work :P[/quote]
complicated women cant understand the simplest of beings
Plus I hurt my ankle by trying to climb a tree and the branch broke.