Once, I Was So Wasted That I...

Off Topic
81

I once stole a guy’s girlfriend.

Literally.

I was drunk, she was as well.

Her friends had been cock blocking me all night, they would steal her away every time I started talking to her.

So finally I had enough.

She was sitting in a chair talking with like 4 other people, I walked by, picked her chair up and carried her off.

She was into it, I fucked her in the bedroom. Her friends were banging on the door.

I found out later that I was being cock blocked because she had a “boyfriend” and that I fucked her in her boyfriend’s room.

Im not sorry, we dated for a few months after that, apprently I was better.

82

I was very drunk friday night.

There was guy wearing a “tapout” shirt. (I hate those shirts)

We had a conversation about it. I told him I hated Tapout and started undressing him. I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off and then put his sweater back on for him.

Poor guy. Now I feel like a girl version of a douchebag.

83

[quote]jchenky wrote:
I was very drunk friday night.

There was guy wearing a “tapout” shirt. (I hate those shirts)

We had a conversation about it. I told him I hated Tapout and started undressing him. I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off and then put his sweater back on for him.

Poor guy. Now I feel like a girl version of a douchebag.[/quote]

He should have put raisins in your drink. That would have put you in your place.

84

[quote]WS4JB wrote:
Table got broke in half, captain morgan covered the curtains, an asian kid somehow got knocked out,
[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHA.

85

This is weird.

I went out on Wednesday night I think it was. Must of been a student night or some kind of event for those lot, because loads of them where in fancy dress.

Anyway, I pulled this chick who was basically covered head to toe in cellophane plastic stuff, with a sign around here neck saying “have safe sex”. Anyway, I fucked the shit out of a condom!

86

[quote]chrisarmes wrote:

Threw up all over a dorm washroom, then ripped out a sink …[/quote]

Did you also rip out a stop sign on your way out?

87

[quote]jchenky wrote:
I was very drunk friday night.

There was guy wearing a “tapout” shirt. (I hate those shirts)

We had a conversation about it. I told him I hated Tapout and started undressing him. I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off and then put his sweater back on for him.

Poor guy. Now I feel like a girl version of a douchebag.[/quote]

Dont feel bad for him. Hes going to wear that shirt more often.

Not only did you start talking to him, but he got some drunk girl to take his clothes off.

You dont seem to understand how males work :stuck_out_tongue:

88

[quote]jchenky wrote:

I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off

[/quote]

I am wearing Tapout boxers and pants.

89

I had a couple of those.

ended up dancing in a cage in New Orleans

and another one was in Tijuana, Mexico on the hunt for the infamous pony show… we found it.

90

The best drunk story I know happened to a friend.

He was on his 27th shot when I arrived at the party. Two hours later, when everyone else was wasted, someone started yelling from the bathroom, appeared in the hallway, and waved for everyone to come over while holding their nose. This guy had passed out while taking a crap and left the door open. Of course, we were all drunk, so this was prime photo time. Later that night he woke up, tried to puke between his legs, but it landed in his boxers instead. The next morning he woke up and calmly went on his way.

We still call him Acorn Shitty. One guess how he got the first name.

91

Once I was so wasted that I slept with my female roommate. We realized the next morning that the next nine months were going to be awkward.

92

The worst one however- once I was so wasted I hit on my boss… at his going away party. The bad thing being that he was still going to be my boss, just moving to a different building.

93

Best night-
So wasted that I convinced a girl to let me come crash on her couch by presenting the idea of a threesome with her and a band member. Of course, I passed out on her couch as soon as I got through the door.

The next morning it took a sec to realize where I was. The first thing I ever heard that girl say sober was “I’m naked (she apparently hadn’t passed out nearly as quick as me)!” In a happy voice.

Turns out she’s the most intelligent girl I know. 26 and working on her Ph.D. We pissed infront of each other and half-raped the bartender before we even knew each other’s names.

94

[quote]Mutu wrote:
jchenky wrote:

I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off

I am wearing Tapout boxers and pants.[/quote]

Please note I put his sweater back on for him. I had no interest in seeing him naked.

I will take off your pants and boxers provided that they are Tapout but I’ll leave you hanging.

95

[quote]jchenky wrote:
Mutu wrote:
jchenky wrote:

I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off

I am wearing Tapout boxers and pants.

Please note I put his sweater back on for him. I had no interest in seeing him naked.

I will take off your pants and boxers provided that they are Tapout but I’ll leave you hanging.
[/quote]

My guess is he won’t be hanging by the time you’re done…

I once pissed all over my friend who fell asleep on the toilet…

96

[quote]Sick Rick wrote:
jchenky wrote:
Mutu wrote:
jchenky wrote:

I took his ssweater off then the Tapout shirt off

I am wearing Tapout boxers and pants.

Please note I put his sweater back on for him. I had no interest in seeing him naked.

I will take off your pants and boxers provided that they are Tapout but I’ll leave you hanging.

My guess is he won’t be hanging by the time you’re done…

[/quote]
rofl

97

Made out with a guy.

98

[quote]SpartanX wrote:
Made out with a guy.[/quote]

Me too.

99

[quote]SpartanX wrote:
Made out with a guy.[/quote]

I kissed my best friend from high school on the cheek.

To be fair hes getting married, and thats his culture.

But I have officially kissed a man before.

100

[quote]Westclock wrote:
SpartanX wrote:
Made out with a guy.

I kissed my best friend from high school on the cheek.

To be fair hes getting married, and thats his culture.

But I have officially kissed a man before.[/quote]

you sound proud.