…I wrote a six word story.
DB
[quote]DirtyM wrote:
I felt like David Banner transforming; if I didnt know any better I’d swear my started eyes glowing green and I grew three feet. [/quote]
so you turned into a big green rapper?
epic fail
[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
…I wrote a six word story.
DB[/quote]
Hands down win.
Woke up in another country.
Once I did the most awesome thing in the world but I was so wasted I couldn’t remember the next day.
I accidentally the whole urinal cake.
Drove down the main street in Santiago Del Estro in argentina on moped, drunk and naked.
ended up going to a brothel like that and not partakeing in the ladies on offer.
After a handle of JD I woke up strapped down to the a bed in the hospital. I had apparently branded my own hand with a cross, was taken to the ER, they tried to take my blood, I fought back, was decided I was on PCP (I wasn’t), was given some anti-psychotic to remove the pcp from my system, BAL was at .39 (So the nurse said the next morning, i don’t remember) and wasn’t released until a relative could sign me out and I had convinced the staff shrink that I didn’t take pcp. Still have a cross shaped scar in my hand.
Just the usual, wake up, stand at the end of the bed, piss back onto the bed and then lay back down in it.
Raced another dude on hands and knees (we couldn’t stand) after drinking a one liter of gin in 30 minutes. To this day I still can’t touch the stuff without insta puking.
Raced someone at a bar, fell 3 times the first race. He won obviously, I challenged him again and only fell once. I won that race, found out the next day I had broken my wrist from all the falls.
V
I once thought my cell phone could unlock my car so I stood outside for about 30 minutes until my friend figured out what the hell it was I was trying to do. It sure made sense to me at the time.
[quote]lostinthought wrote:
I once thought my cell phone could unlock my car so I stood outside for about 30 minutes until my friend figured out what the hell it was I was trying to do. It sure made sense to me at the time. [/quote]
LOL, that’s good.
Alright one time my buddies and me had a half gallon of Captain Morgans that we went through very fast. This was back when I extremely thin, lightweight etc etc. So case in scenario I got so plastered I blacked out the whole night. My friends told me I was whipping out my ding dong infront of my friends front door. Pissing all over and acting retarded.
So everyone thought it would be a good idea to head over to eat at a super burrito joint. Where I commenced with my retardness. When it was our turn to order, they told me I was screamin’ “I WANNNNT PUSSSSAY!!!” through the intercom when the chic asked what we’d like. I don’t remember much after, yet I woke up with a huge bump and slash on the side of my face after falling off the couch hitting my head on the corner of a living room coffee table.
One time I was drinking with some indian chic not dot-on-forehead indian, but feathers in hair indian. So we are getting sloshed and next thing you know where just gettin crazy. We both get butt naked n jump into a nearby damn in the middle of the night. I remember being ontop of her near a bank. Then turned around and saw one of my drunk buddies buttnaked also just staring at us I WAS LIKE WTF?! awkward moment. So I ended up just taking her to my house instead.
Last time I got so wasted though I was in a drunken sleepy slumber out on the club dance floor. Everyone said I was drunk as hell freakin’ with chics and was literally falling asleep in the middle of the floor. So I was drunk sleep walk dancing.
[quote]Drizzt wrote:
Some more…
Passed over a chainlink fence. Was found 45 minutes later by my friends.
Jumped over/through numerous bonfires.
I was once trashed and decided to throw in a dip of grizzly. That didn’t turn out well twenty minutes later.
Hit .28 on a breathalizer. That was fun waking up in the morning.
Found out that a Bananna flavored protein shake mixed with jack daniels is actually really tasty.
I can only play pool when I’m wasted. If I try sober I’m absolutely terrible.
Couldn’t figure out how to use my keys so I fell asleep outside my dorm room.
Tryed playing halo after a long night of partying. Ended up cracking my window behind the TV with the controller. Was pissed the 12 year olds were kicking my ass.
[/quote]
I have a lot of these stories, can’t quite remember any good ones at the moment.
Got ya beat on the .28 though…
Blew ‘somewhere over .3’ one night my freshman year. Every time the nurse at the infirmary tried to put that pulse thing on my finger I apparently laughed and moved my finger. Also puked on my friends couch, got kicked in the head… fell flat on my face/dick while pissing and cold clocked my buddy in the face while he tried to take my sweatshirt off… all and all a fun wednesday night.
I could post pages of stories i’ve seen as well.
Nothing really that bad for me.
Worst time was prolly when i had my shirt off, picked up one of my buddies, and ran into a garage door with him on my shoulder at a dead run.
one of my favorites from bash.org…
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player… so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there’s this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks ‘oh shit… if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i’d want to fuck him up… so i’d better hit him first’
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy… WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
I accidentally the whole urinal cake.
[/quote]
I accidentally all this alcohol.
And then I accidentally a whole fat chick.
got wasted with 3 of my friends at our first freshman party outside the dorms. one of them ended up out cold, so we carried him the 12 blocks back to the dorms, dropping him ever 30 seconds on the concrete. got stopped by cops twice within a 2 minute span (we dropped him again when we were asked to pull over both times, seeing as we were walking on the sidewalk). it took us 1 hour to walk 5 blocks so we ended up waiting behind a bush on campus until another friend picked us up.
that’s one of the few where i’m not blacked out drunk. all the other ones are based off what my friends/nurses/relatives/cops/neighbors told me i supposedly did.
[quote]LiquidMercury wrote:
Nurse: Do you smoke or do drugs?
Me: No
Nurse: Do you drink?
Me: Yes
Nurse: How many drink on avg would you say you have a week?
Me: Around 120 or so.
Nurse: WHAT?
Me: I could be lowballing it, I just recently stopped drinking on Sundays.
Nurse: You have a problem
Me: No shit, I went through a 2nd floor window and am leaking blood out of my hand.
Nurse: No you have an alcohol problem, you need to go to AA.
Me: AA is for quitters.
[/quote]
Oooooohh amigo you sound a WHOLE LOT like me hahahahhahaahhahaahahahha.
[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
…I wrote a six word story.
DB[/quote]
[quote]Blaze_108 wrote:
Nothing really that bad for me.
Worst time was prolly when i had my shirt off, picked up one of my buddies, and ran into a garage door with him on my shoulder at a dead run.
one of my favorites from bash.org…
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player… so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there’s this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks ‘oh shit… if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i’d want to fuck him up… so i’d better hit him first’
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy… WORST NIGHT OUT EVER[/quote]
fucking funny
[quote]Mutu wrote:
Doug Adams wrote:
I accidentally the whole urinal cake.
I accidentally all this alcohol.
And then I accidentally a whole fat chick.[/quote]
You know since you accidentally the whole fat chick, I am really starting to wonder what you did.