Actually, I’m in worse health now than I’ve literally ever been with no plan for getting better and no diagnosis. I’m working with a doctor right now, it’s funny to see how clueless they all are about what I suffer with. I try to understand it, but idk. I think it’s SIBO. I’m doing the diet treatment for what I think I have, but all I’ve had is hourly diarrhea for the last four days after a week-long stretch of constipation and pain. I don’t even eat any carbohydrates besides a handful of grapes twice a day (and veggies). I have uncontrollable and incredibly painful muscle spasms in my stomach.
It’s really quite unfortunate because I believe I could have been something in the strength world at one point. But, I’m still back to hobbies like weightlifting out of the sheer necessity to keep my dopamine/self-distraction levels high enough to stay out of the psychiatric hospital or fixate on suicide again. I’m down weight, I’m in constant pain, and everything really looks bleak for my physical symptoms even though I have a girlfriend.
Example - not being able to have sex or even truly enjoy her company because I am constantly stuck in the bathroom.
In a few days I’m 18, I’m not 15 anymore like I was when I initially got sick. I can’t afford to play around because in my current state I’m both useless and absolutely mortified at my existence. At the same time, I’m not allowed to die, so where does that leave somebody like me who is alone, suffering 24/7, and looks completely healthy?
Maybe on their pity pot, but I don’t know what’s left to enjoy. There’s no support or empathy for me anywhere, but I don’t expect it. I’m young and I look fine even though I feel like I’m 80 and going through chemo.
I’m sorry to hear it. I don’t know you had health problems. I hope things turn for you as well as they can, although I know it’s even tougher without a diagnosis
@TrainForPain it’s just a fact of life that I’m trying to fix now
@anna_5588 Other fruits give me worse diarrhea and gas - yes, even bananas. Strawberries and grapes are my only tolerable fruits and I don’t have many (maybe 20 grapes or 10 strawberries a day - not both).
I sauté carrots and spinach. They are my only two vegetables because they are also all that I can tolerate without being in excruciating pain requiring a hospital trip. Cooked veggies just sit there. My diet is chicken, eggs, carrots, spinach, walnuts, grapes, strawberries.
I’m sorry to hear that man, nothing get me more pissed than my body not cooperating with me. Kind “too simple to be possible” but, I’ve heard some recent success stories with people simplifying their diet. Similar to the Vertical diet I guess, but my main diet consists of ground beef, white rice, tortillas, and chicken. I snack a little bit (pretty unhealthily to be honest) but I found out over time my body doesnt like digesting a wide variety of foods. The vertical diet was cool to me because it kind of solidified what I had figured out. Sure, I miss out on a lot of other critical nutrients, but I’ll take a deficiency or two over being hunched over with stomach cramps daily. Give and take I guess.
My diet is chicken, beef, eggs, carrots, spinach, walnuts, grapes, strawberries. That’s it. Rice and tortillas give me unmanageable diarrhea, as do any other fruits or vegetables. Grains are bad for me, but so is everything else it seems. Without fruits or vegetables, I get chronic constipation and tons of belly pain. I don’t snack at all because I’m not hungry and I know better than to eat something out of a bag, I’ll go to hospital haha.
I have two settings. One is good, one is bad. When I feel terrible I want to sabotage everything for no reason and I have to consciously stop myself from doing so. When I feel good I’m usually pretty okay, nothing out of the ordinary. When I don’t everything is really rough, like today.
Rounding the corner into the last month, and I’m rounding the corner in 35” on the waist with my goal of 34” in my sights. Couple of tough weeks next month should do the trick.
It’s not paying attention that gets me. It’s eating like a normal person - using my appetite as a guide. My appetite might as well be a spy. I have to be hungry to maintain weight.
That being said, I’m on my 3rd or 4th beer (already lost track) and I just ate a hot dog that I roasted over an open fire. If I’m not careful, I’ll eat the entire bag of chips we have with the guacamole salsa. The night is young so it’s a real possibility.
