Yeah it’s fucking hard, peer pressure and all. I remember dieting, and I was at a baptism in my ex-GF family and I just ate the couscous, no alcohol, no apetizers, no snacks. People were staring and thought I was insane.
It’s hard to go out and restrict yourself like chosing the white fish at the restaurant, having only green tea for dessert while your friends barf on cheesecakes. Going at a party and having only one beer. But it gets easier and easier with time!
This isn’t a lack of planning. Life outside of the college bubble is inconsistent and demanding.
I think there is several things at play here:
Fee free to read my log if you’re curious what my schedule looks like.
Not excuse, reality. My profession and new family is more important than creating the balanced life where this is possible. There is 3 days a week where I eat at home and it’s planned. The remaining 4, short of a cooler in the back of my truck with 4 days of food and a microwave it’s ain’t happening. Which brings me to point 2 above. I can afford to eat every meal out and I’d save a shit ton of time.
I’m working on this one. A pint of ice cream used to be my go-to. The last two months it’s been healthier options and weight has been coming off.
I feel you. Not working as many hours but a shitty, physical, stressing, demanding job and it’s hard to resist the tentation of free, instantaneous burger and fries, when you’re so tired.
I do like you do, step by step. First switching the ice cream to something healthier (preferably with protein!). Then another step, etc etc each time becoming easier and easier to stick to the diet
ok boomer
And that’s called having priorities. Like I said, it’s fine. Really.
Again, totally fine. But don’t make it look like it’s impossible of have a demanding job and schedule and still adhere to a consistent but flexible plan. I personally know people who do this day in and day out.
And since we’re at it, it’s totally possible to lose fat eating burgers. Ideal? Nope. But with a tiny bit of brain work, it’s possible.
Once again, decision fatigue IS a real thing. I just get ticked off when people make it sound like it can’t be done, when in reality it’s just that they have chosen not to do it (which, once more, is fine per se).
I know this is coming from.a good place dude, but this does suggest a level of naivety of the world outside of college. Yes there is always a way at some level of effort and sacrifice, but at a certain point work and family commitments really don’t leave time for perfect world solutions and the necessary sacrifices are untenable. Sacrificing going out drinking with your buddies is not the same thing as sacrificing time with wife and kids when you haven’t seen them in 24 hours.
As I said I know you mean well, I thought exactly what you did when I was at university.
Quick change to the above, but spot on.
I drove home 3.5 hours yesterday to spend 5 awake hours with my family (3 with kids, 5 with wife). It’s nearly 2 am and I’m awake working (to make up for coming home midday), before I drive 3.5 hours to meetings all day tomorrow. After the meetings, which end at 630-7pm. I will drive 3.5 hours home, to an asleep family. BUT, I will wake up to them at 6am, get them ready for school/the day, before I take off for work again.
Thank you, I think you make lots of sense.
However, I was also trying to draw an example from the people that are older than me, so definitely not college age anymore, and have a demanding job and a tough schedule but still find a way to pull it off. It can be done if it’s a high enough priority. Not optimally, mind you, but to the best of one’s capacity given their particular context.
7h in the car a day is absolutely massive. Is that your normal commute or just a thing when travelling?
I get what you mean, completely, I just want you to appreciate that demanding and tough fall on a very long specttrum
And people can be doing this, while it looks very far from what you consider optimal.
Isn’t this where we started, with me saying I keep gaining and losing the same weight? During the week I have complete control. I prep and pack and stay within the lines. Then the weekend comes. It’s Wednesday, and I’ve already undone the damage done by the weekend.
One issue to do with the family stuff is that I’m not overweight in the slightest. So to be all “is the room in the fridge for my special diet food?” when all of the people around me are heavy feels awkward and bad to me. This is my husband’s family. I don’t want them to feel self-conscious about themselves.
I just would like to see what would happen if I had a solid month or two without disruption. But then, honestly, I’m not sure that would work for my husband. He’s not cutting. He wants to share desserts at restaurants, and even at home sometimes. YES, obviously I can say no, but the relationship and his happiness is a top priority. Sharing food is kind of a thing people do.
That’s not what I’m saying. If you are ending up at the same weight you are doing the adjusting wrong.
If you want to have leeway in the weekend, your deficit during weekdays must be GREATER.
That way, even accounting for the weekend, you’ll be at a deficit over the period of a week.
Bottom line: take full advantage of the days where you have full control over what you eat and, if fat loss is the goal, eat even slightly less on those days than you are already doing.
This is up to you, but I would argue that eating your food wouldn’t be an offense and if they are self-conscious, you aren’t at fault for that.
What this sounds more like is you being self-conscious about you wanting to diet, due to their presence. This is literally their life decisions influencing yours. It’s funny because the exact same of what you don’t want to happen to them is happening to you.
OMG, you should hear my stomach as it is. It growls ALL THE TIME at work. I’m sitting there, listening to people tell me their problems, and my stomach is shrieking like a hungry toddler.
I’m doing my best. Here, though…shitty picture to show that I’ve been managing pretty well for a long time…but I think I look thinner than I actually am in the pic. Anyway, I know all of what you say. It’s just balancing priorities. 
Cool. Nobody said you are fat or need to diet in the first place. Was just giving you advice as to the issue you raised. If you already know all of that, all the better.
(And yes I do know what dieting and being hungry feels like)
This is either naive or self-centered. These are people I care about. Random overweight nurses at work when that was a thing for me? No problem. Happy to let them watch me run my prepped food game.
It’s not about their poor life choices, it’s about my desire that their day with extended family be a really happy one insofar as I have the power to make it so.
Also, there’s the matter of the smell of the food and my weak will.
Now this is something realistic and that I can relate to. We’re finally speaking the same language!
The first step is always identifying the problem.
And I do appreciate it. I guess I was more just venting that I wish it was easier to balance all the wants. I want to lost at least 5 pounds. And I’ll be on vacation next week and want to both enjoy and be a good companion. And the week after at my in-laws 3 hours from home, and so on and so forth until forever comes.
I like to intermittent fast, but my partner also like to have breakfast on a weekend. And if i smell the eggs and bakey you damn sure know im not holding out till 1200, but i manage it in work mon - fri when everyone else is getting their fry ups … why , because i dont care if my work buddies notice im a miserable fucker, but i dont wana put my partner through miserable me just because i chose to not give in to a fry up because i wanted to stick to my diet … that being said, im currently still loosing bf each week so im not that bothered about being strict on the weekend atm either . I know if i have an end goal - e.g. competing at a certain weight, i will make it happen on weekends too
Also consider that intermittent fasting isn’t needed to lose fat. You can enjoy breakfast and still adhere 100% to your diet even that day, if calories and macros are equal at the end of the day.
So yeah, one more example of how someone can be flexible and still remain consistent.
One more option (that I wouldn’t particularly recommend because I don’t believe that much in intermittent fasting anyway) would be to move your fasting window and shift it to late afternoon or evening+night for that day.
agreed of course it can be flexible , but the reason i started IF in the first place was because as soon as i have my first meal , my appetite for the day sky rockets (unless i am actively doing something e.g. working out / working)and i feel constantly hungry, and my maintenance window is around 1700-2000kcals , which with my appetite i could easily do in one sitting , so by doing IF and only eating from ~1400 > 2100 , between work and gym time i only really get the opportunity to get 3 meals down range making it easier to hit the low calorie count i need.
If i have that breakfast meal on a weekend that leave alot of extra hours trying to kurb the hunger which evidently as JMaier says
But i know where your coming from mate, im not moaning about not being able to , im not in the mindset to make it my no1 priority atm ,like i said if i had an end goal to make weight it would happen, and as my no1 priority , but for day to day life IF suits me even if i do take a hit on the weekend which slows down my goals