Very late at night around a camp fire, Ghosts tell "CHUCK NORRIS STORIES"[/quote]
Don’t you have some government teat to suckle on? Instead of posting on here, why don’t you go and get a 1st/2nd job so that myself and all the other taxpaying members of this site don’t have to foot the bill for your medical expenses?[/quote]
We’re ALL sucking on a gov. teat in some form or another (unless you’re a backwoods survivalist).
Why ruin a perfectly good Chuck Norris thread with socio/political rants.
Very late at night around a camp fire, Ghosts tell "CHUCK NORRIS STORIES"[/quote]
Don’t you have some government teat to suckle on? Instead of posting on here, why don’t you go and get a 1st/2nd job so that myself and all the other taxpaying members of this site don’t have to foot the bill for your medical expenses?[/quote]
We’re ALL sucking on a gov. teat in some form or another (unless you’re a backwoods survivalist).
Why ruin a perfectly good Chuck Norris thread with socio/political rants.
On a scale of 1 to 10, Chuck Norris kicks ass.
[/quote]
because I hurt his feelings on my last reply in the thread everyone is bashing me in… btw you don’t fit into that group.
[quote]Kipemare wrote:
Chuck Norris once had sex in a semi. Some of his semen escaped and made its way to the engine. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.[/quote]
The word representing the number of deaths Chuck Norris is responsible for is unpronounceable. Whenever anyone tries, their tongue swells up, choking them to death - increasing that number by one.
Chuck Norris once brought a dead lamb on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, and gently caressed it with his beard until it came back to life. He then roundhouse kicked it in the throat to prove that the Good Chuck giveth and the Good Chuck taketh away.
I just remembered about 15 years ago me and a buddy were watching TV, flipping channels and “Walker Texas Ranger” was on…and we tuned in just as Walker was running into an office as a businessman was floating in the air, surrounded and tormented by ghosts as a Navajo shaman conjured the aforementioned spirits.
My buddy and I laughed and turned the channel…coming back 20 or 30 minutes later to see what was going on now and the scene was a highway and an elderly couple in a winnebago was being shot at by a blonde in a red Porsche and then a biplane came sweeping down with Chuck Norris’ character standing on the wing and he jumped into the Porsche and over-powered the blonde.
My friend and I said this was either the shittiest TV show ever made or the greatest art the human race could ever wish to produce.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of â??beardâ??. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesusâ?? obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Ironically, Chuck Norrisâ?? hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris isnâ??t lactose intolerant. He just doesnâ??t put up with lactoseâ??s shit.
