Hey guys, I don’t know if this has ever been posted before, but check this out. These are “facts” about Chuck Norris. LOL OMFG Soooooooo Funny. Me love them long time.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris doesnâ??t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
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