Naming Rights to My Son

Off Topic
1

As many of you know, I’m scheduled to be a father in July.

The plan was to name my son Mason Gunner - because we (my girlfriend and I) just like the name and think it sounds badass.

That being said, my step dad has offered us some money for naming rights, so to speak.

Just for a little back story - my father died at 23 of an unknown heart condition while my mother was pregnant with me, his name was Stephen.

My step dad says he’ll give us $1,000 if we make my son’s middle name Stephen (fuck that, $1k isn’t shit).

If we name him Stephen (first name) it’s worth $3,000.

If we name him Stephen John (which is my step dad’s name) he’ll give us $5,000.

So what do you guys think? Sell out and take the cash? Stick to my guns? Will I regret either decision later?

2

Mason Stephen John MoFo has a nice ring. Maybe you could cut a deal for the double middle name?

3

Don’t take the money.

If you don’t want to name him after your dad, because your heart tells you to, you will regret it later.

It isn’t worth $5,000

4

I just became a father for the third time this week (ie. our third child).

My only suggestion is that you pick a name YOU like to hear yourself say about 1000 times a day in various tones ranging from a quiet “Good morning, Mason” (or whatever) to:

MASON! GET DOWN HERE NOW!

Mason… Mason… MAAAASSSOOOOONNN!!

MASON, I SAID DON’T SQUIRT THE KETCHUP IN THE DVD PLAYER!!!

MAAAASSSONNN!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY SHOES!!!

MAAASSSON!!! WHY WOULD YOU SPREAD PEANUT BUTTER ALL OVER THE CAR!!!

etc. etc. ad nauseaum… ad infinitum.

You will have to say, hear, and YELL his name in public as well…

We picked our names judiciously.

Oh, yeah-- 5 grand is 5 grand dude. You can always have another and name him “Mason”…

5

Screw that. I have no kids, but my son’s name (should I have one eventually) has been picked out since first year of college.

6

I think you should keep the name that you and your wife chose. In the long run, the money isn’t going to matter. It’s your life, your family, and your child, stick with Mason Gunner.

Also, accepting money for the naming rights of your son could end up creating tension and unrest in the future when your child finds out.

7

Just don’t do what Frank Zappa did when he named his kids.

8

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Screw that. I have no kids, but my son’s name will be Hamburger.[/quote]

Damn, dude.

9

^this. If you are cool with your answer to “Hey dad, so dad why did you pick _ _ _ _ _ for my name”? then your cool

10

Theres a solution. Not a perfect one. Name on the birth certificate different than the name you’ll call him.

FTR I’d not take the money.

11

Mason Gunner?? Future - WWE Wrestler or Gay Pornstar. Pray for the former*.

*NTTAWW option 2

12

What SteelyD said, because you’ll be hearing it for a long, long time.

I never named any of my children until after they were born and I looked them in the eye. Sometimes the name you picked just doesn’t fit. A child with an ill-fitting name will grow up and shoot you in your sleep.

13

With Mofo as a surname, his full name will be pretty badass regardless of what you decide to name him.

But, having said that, you should name him what you and his mother think best, rather than go for the money. Nothing wrong with Stephen - if you like that name. But choose it only if you would consider it as a name even with no money attached.

Then again, Stephen King Mofo does sound awesome. Sounds like a guy who can kick some ass and then write a good, scary story about the experience and get it immediately published!

Just don’t name him for his body type, OK? So, Lanky Jr - or Stocky, Portly, Gangly, Shorty, Tiny, and Scrawny are all out. Then again, Huge Mofo could work - but only if he truly is big.

14

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
I just became a father for the third time this week (ie. our third child).

My only suggestion is that you pick a name YOU like to hear yourself say about 1000 times a day in various tones ranging from a quiet “Good morning, Mason” (or whatever) to:

MASON! GET DOWN HERE NOW!

Mason… Mason… MAAAASSSOOOOONNN!!

MASON, I SAID DON’T SQUIRT THE KETCHUP IN THE DVD PLAYER!!!

MAAAASSSONNN!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY SHOES!!!

MAAASSSON!!! WHY WOULD YOU SPREAD PEANUT BUTTER ALL OVER THE CAR!!!

etc. etc. ad nauseaum… ad infinitum.

You will have to say, hear, and YELL his name in public as well…

We picked our names judiciously.

Oh, yeah-- 5 grand is 5 grand dude. You can always have another and name him “Mason”…[/quote]

Haha, SteelyD you slay me.

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
I think you should keep the name that you and your wife chose. In the long run, the money isn’t going to matter. It’s your life, your family, and your child, stick with Mason Gunner.

Also, accepting money for the naming rights of your son could end up creating tension and unrest in the future when your child finds out.[/quote]

If my son has as good of a sense of humor as I do, he’d probably find the situation pretty hilarious. I mean, really? $5k for naming rights? Lol.

[quote]PaddyM wrote:
Mason Stephen John MoFo has a nice ring. Maybe you could cut a deal for the double middle name?[/quote]

He did say we could name him Stephen Mason Gunner, call him Mason and still get $3k, but I don’t like the whole 3 names thing.

15

Haha, you guys are killing me. I figured this would generate some good discussion.

My original idea was to name him Winner Power - you don’t get more badass than that.

16

Oh, and it’s not like we’re hurting for cash. We both do OK for ourselves but like SteelyD said - $5k is $5k, you know?

17

mason sounds cool, gunner sounds cool, ‘mason gunner’ sounds a little like its trying to hard IMO. also, they are both nouns for other things which is kind of weird too. Patrick Mason or Mason Christopher sounds better IMO, but Mason Gunner sounds a little too WWF, especially if you have a badass sounding last name that ties it all together.

i wouldnt take the cash just based on standard man law, call it a power struggle but 1000 isnt going to determine what i call my offspring and what they call themselves for the next 85 years or so.

18

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Oh, and it’s not like we’re hurting for cash. We both do OK for ourselves but like SteelyD said - $5k is $5k, you know?[/quote]

… and by time little PowerMasonStephenWinner MoFo is starting college, that 5k plus all the interest it accrued in 18 years will be just enough to pay for his college tuition rec fees…

19

Name him Stephon

20

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
What SteelyD said, because you’ll be hearing it for a long, long time.

I never named any of my children until after they were born and I looked them in the eye. Sometimes the name you picked just doesn’t fit. A child with an ill-fitting name will grow up and shoot you in your sleep.[/quote]

X3

I tried to sucker my wife into using my grandfathers name…Norbert lol. I had no intention of going with that name but it was funny to watch her squirm for a bit.

Take the quid and give him a nickname :wink: