My Left Shoe

Training
401

jeepers mim i didnt realize we had a page/time goal.

whoopsie!

ok great now we’re on page 17.

so the wine story.

about 6 months ago, we had a hellacious day at the pharmacy. Horse face called off, and i was left with dumb, dumber, and the catatonically slow phamacist for the first half of my shift. second half, the superheroine pharmacist comes in, but we’re still drowning.

and not just normal busy, but customers being bigger assholes than usual crazy.

so i stayed for an extra 2 hours to try and help get things steadied.

i didnt eat or pee for 10 hours.

i decided i deserved a bottle of wine, as i didnt have any in the house.

I carried it home, and up my stairs (live on the second floor), when i set down my keys the bag slipped out of my hand and bounced down all 17 wooden stairs onto the landing in front of the door. I watched in despair, simultaneously configuring a device through which i could filter the wine of its glass shards, and wondering how long it would take me to clean all that up.

i get to the bottom of the stairs to discover that the bottle didnt break. no crack, no dent, no bruise, no scratched label.

i realized god wants me to drink.

it was this same brand of wine, called, “oops.”

an im havin some pizza rolls.

402

sorry to hear bout the shitty ass day. ugh. those are worth forgetting.

[quote]CBear84 wrote:i realized god wants me to drink.
[/quote]

jesus wants you to drink so u’ll poke him with something extra spicy.

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[quote]dejavued wrote:

jesus wants you to drink so u’ll poke him with something extra spicy. [/quote]

showed my pharmacy manager that quote, and spend the rest of the day yelling “fire in the hole!” and ducking!

I have no idea why he hasnt fired me yet. In all seriousness.

404

Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.[/quote]

so i see you’ve read the first page.

im in awe.

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[quote]CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.

so i see you’ve read the first page.

im in awe. [/quote]

Actually it went like this.

1.Read the tittle

2.Remembered that I’ve read that tittle before and though “elitaballa holding a shoe”

3.Clicked the thread and saw a video.

4.Watched the video, paying very close attention to form.

5.Posted “Every time I see this…bla bla”

6.Watched the video again and notice there were plates on the bar.

7.The end.

407

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.

so i see you’ve read the first page.

im in awe.

Actually it went like this.

1.Read the tittle

2.Remembered that I’ve read that tittle before and though “elitaballa holding a shoe”

3.Clicked the thread and saw a video.

4.Watched the video, paying very close attention to form.

5.Posted “Every time I see this…bla bla”

6.Watched the video again and notice there were plates on the bar.

7.The end.

[/quote]

better?

408

[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.

so i see you’ve read the first page.

im in awe.

Actually it went like this.

1.Read the tittle

2.Remembered that I’ve read that tittle before and though “elitaballa holding a shoe”

3.Clicked the thread and saw a video.

4.Watched the video, paying very close attention to form.

5.Posted “Every time I see this…bla bla”

6.Watched the video again and notice there were plates on the bar.

7.The end.

[/quote]

or maybe?

409

so sorry you missed the video of me air humping a 100lb hot blond figure athlete.

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[quote]CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Every time I see the tittle of this thread, I think of elitaballa holding a shoe. Sorry just had to get it out there…carry on.

so i see you’ve read the first page.

im in awe.

Actually it went like this.

1.Read the tittle

2.Remembered that I’ve read that tittle before and though “elitaballa holding a shoe”

3.Clicked the thread and saw a video.

4.Watched the video, paying very close attention to form.

5.Posted “Every time I see this…bla bla”

6.Watched the video again and notice there were plates on the bar.

7.The end.

better?[/quote]

Holy or should I say hell?!?! how about holly hell!! I’ll definitely have a whole different image now when I read the tittle of this thread.

no hijack or anything but do you dead-lift in that? :)))

Edit:

I just saw that second picture…it will take me a while to get back and search for the video of you humping a figure athlete if you catch my drift…

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
I just saw that second picture…it will take me a while to get back and search for the video of you humping a figure athlete if you catch my drift…[/quote]

holy shitballs batman was that a sexual innuendo? whoa. literacy and pubescent wit. tg for T-Nation.

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[quote]CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
I just saw that second picture…it will take me a while to get back and search for the video of you humping a figure athlete if you catch my drift…

holy shitballs batman was that a sexual innuendo? whoa. literacy and pubescent wit. tg for tnation. [/quote]

I’m confused, what’s so sexual about eating eggs and brown rice before I watch a video? everyone is different I guess…I won’t judge.

I do know what you mean though TG for T-Nation and women…deadlifting.

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the bottle of wine is half full.

see, i’m an optomist!

Wine induced thoughts:

I’ve been told several times in the past week that I look 18, but am much more mature than 25.

I’ve said for several years that people who use the word, “mature” generally are not.

I’ve described myself as, “No longer young enough to think I know everything, not yet old enough to feel sorry for those that do.” dunno if i made that up or not but it sounds good.

proud of this one, learned it several years ago during an exceptionally long party period in my life: “Is it not unlike the unlikely not that it has been unlikened to?” mindfuck.

passion, and love in general, are overused concepts. the amount of dedication necessary for either is REMARKABLY lacking in todays society. so is lateral thinking.
^^^^^^^
Referencing concepts from Mushashi’s “The Book of Five Rings,” in which he encourages someone devoted to becoming a master in combat to also become a master in something unrelated, like painting.

The idea is that by harnessing the focus and drive involved in becoming good at something seemingly unrelated to your primary goal, you will, by default, gain new perspective and insight into your priorities.

I will never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of the general population. at work today, and every day, I have this conversation 1 out of every 3 times I answer the phone:
“Hi I’m calling for a price on Cipro 500, 20 tablets”
-It’s part of our free antibiotic program, we just got some more in today, so they should be here when you are.
“So, you have it?”
-Yes.
“And it’s free?”
-Why the fuck do I even bother talking, you dumb cunt? are you not prepared for an answer when you ask a question? because I know for a mother fucking fact that when you pull up to my drive through, and I say, “Hello, what can I do for you?” your response will start with, “Um…”

NO UM!!! Fucking inbred estrogen overdosed ignorant cunts! The answer to, “hello,”

IS NOT

AND NEVER WILL BE

“Um…”

you have .3 seconds to respond with a word before I crawl through this small hole in the building and strangle you with your seatbelt. You shouldnt mind, your disregard for your safety is apparent, because you’re not wearing it! And your child, that’s strapped in the back seat (maybe) who you’re subjecting to your pack a day cigarette habit? they’re going to military school.

I think I’m done for now.

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Are you a cat or a bear?

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
Are you a cat or a bear?[/quote]

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[quote]CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Are you a cat or a bear?

[/quote]

I was going to ask more questions about life as bear but I should stop now before I ruin your log any further

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Oh, okay, CBear, I’ve had some wine too, so pardon any rudeness…

People like to CHECK when they call some kind of representative. You don’t want to make a mistake and have to make a trip for nothing. And people get uncertain and flustered when they have something on their mind.

I’ve found that “looks stupid,” as often as not, just means “busy thinking about something else.” Hardly anybody is actually, like, brain-slow dumb.

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Are you a cat or a bear?

I was going to ask more questions about life as bear but I should stop now before I ruin your log any further[/quote]

I’m very entertained. go on.

419

[quote]AlisaV wrote:
Oh, okay, CBear, I’ve had some wine too, so pardon any rudeness…

People like to CHECK when they call some kind of representative. You don’t want to make a mistake and have to make a trip for nothing. And people get uncertain and flustered when they have something on their mind.

I’ve found that “looks stupid,” as often as not, just means “busy thinking about something else.” Hardly anybody is actually, like, brain-slow dumb.[/quote]

I completely understand, and we can discuss people who drop off refill bottles at the drive though another time (if they had called the number on the bottle before they left the house, more often than not, they could be picking up the new Rx instead of dropping it off).

I’ve learned a few things in my retail career. When people ask a question, you get less than 10 seconds before they tune you out. so, i make it a point to be as concise as possible. I dont see a whole lot of room for questioning in the situation I mentioned above.

another example. In our store, the pharmacy is next to a small display area, which is next to the customer service desk, which is next to a set of doors to the outside.

When people ask where the bathrooms are from any other location in the store, the standard answer is, “In that corner over there by the pharmacy.” I cant pinpoint the exact characteristics, but I’ve learned to recognize the peepee customer from the product customer.

my bestest answer? “If you go out the doors by the service desk, they’re in the lobby on your right.” Not a whole lot of room for error or confusion, hopefully saving someone from an accident.

once in a blue moon, I get someone who looks right at those doors, looks back at me, and says, “what?”

the service desk is twenty mother fucking feet that way. its the counter where people are buying lottery tickets and returning stolen merchandise. immediately to the left of that counter is a series of metal framed, sliding glass panels. if you go out the first set of metal framed sliding glass panels, you can turn right, and enter the designated pissing hole, according to your gender.

If you end up in the parking lot, turn around, and walk back in. When you see the first bundle of shopping carts, turn left, and choose the appropriate tile walled room where others of your sex are entering and leaving.

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[quote]CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
ronaldo7 wrote:
Are you a cat or a bear?

I was going to ask more questions about life as bear but I should stop now before I ruin your log any further

I’m very entertained. go on. [/quote]

ORLY??

Do bears grunt or moan?

Do male bears have a penis?..if they do does that mean they are covered in pubes?

enlighten me I want to learn!