Was it Bosco?
[quote]JackDanials wrote:
[quote]imhungry wrote:
Why does your ex boyfriend AND your current bf have access to your bank account, anyway?[/quote]
OP, when are you going to respond to this question?[/quote]
Sorry it took me so long to reply I was away for the weekend. They have access because stupid me just trusted them. I suppose I just never thought he would do that to me. I don’t think he even feels bad about it so I think my lesson is that you never really know someone even after 10 years!
Anyway thatnks for the HIONEST advice. I have decided to cut my losses and move on. I suppose we are kind of even now considering I cheated on him.
^Get married, have a child, share a morgage etc…then see how you feel about cheating lol. I have no first hand experiance but no fucking way am I ever getting over it. If that’s a character flaw so be it. You fuck around on me, to the curb you go…period. I’d expect the same treatment back.
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
no fucking way am I ever getting over it. If that’s a character flaw so be it. You fuck around on me, to the curb you go…period. I’d expect the same treatment back.
[/quote]
I don’t call that a character flaw. The complete opposite: It is self-respect, dignity and honor = strength of character. It takes strength not to be afraid to accept loss and separation.
To stand on one’s own two feet with no attachments. To be a strong man and a strong woman. Fully independent.
It is called psychological autonomy.
How many of us can claim that? How many of us even know what psychological autonomy means?
Unfortunately, in the weak society we live in, these qualities are no longer recognized and “being nice” means being self-effacing, overly accommodating and leaving one’s self open to abuse and violation.
If we lived in a mature society, you would have never used the expression “throw my ex to the curb”. I find this expression amusing and so those who use it.
That is not the throwing of a betrayer and a lier to the curb, that is a mature and dignified letting go, that is acting with self respect and autonomy. That is letting people know you have value. You value yourself enough not to be used as a doormat.
When some one violates you, you have the courage to accept the failure of the relationship, that we were nit good enough, that we have been rejected, devalued, betrayed.
Have the courage to face these feelings, count your losses and move on. That is how self-respecting, self-reliant, autonomous, strong and people behave.
Unfortunately we only have role models of how dysfunctional, unhealthy individuals act. And so as a society we must twist that behavior and call weakness for strength.
When someone violates you, have the power to draw the line.
This is what having healthy boundaries are about.
We spend billions of dollars to built and protect our countrie’s boundaries and bomb those who attempt to violate them and yet we let our own kind to come into our pants and violate us sexually, emotionally and financially.
But it is supposed to be ok, when it is done by our own.
Isn’t that double standards and hypocrisy?
How are you helping a violator by continuing to hold them in your intimacy and therefore keeping them in a position to violate you?
We live in a society where violation is present and we have learnt to deal with it by either accommodating it or returning in kind.
Learn to stand still and walk away from it.
That requires true strength of character.
That is the virtue of strength in action.
See it for what it is, walk away and don’t look back.
The world is full of people; make new friends and/or start a new family.
[quote]euco09 wrote:
[quote]JackDanials wrote:
[quote]imhungry wrote:
Why does your ex boyfriend AND your current bf have access to your bank account, anyway?[/quote]
OP, when are you going to respond to this question?[/quote]
Sorry it took me so long to reply I was away for the weekend. They have access because stupid me just trusted them. I suppose I just never thought he would do that to me. I don’t think he even feels bad about it so I think my lesson is that you never really know someone even after 10 years![/quote]
10 years? Try 14.
I bet that you’re either the one who ended it with your ex, or you at least made an enemy of him by displaying that you have pride and confidence in yourself. Meanwhile, he knows he’s a weasel and that really bothers him. Taking your money helps him buy a few things that he hopes will help him forget these unpleasant facts.
…Or he could just be a thief.
Maybe you should get a super-secret pin number like I have, 1077. Its the price of a Cheese pizza and a large soda where i used to work, Pinucci’s Pizza