I have been thinking about how to get to the bottom of this and I think I have the answer.
First, you need a twice daily sweep of the house, trash included. Also an inspection of her pockets, bag, etc and of her vehicle. One can be careful with disposing of evidence for a day or three but not for weeks on end.
Second, no more cash. A credit card only, a card with no cash transfers and no cash out. Ideally one that gives real-time alerts to your phone. You then have a good handle on where she is spending. You will also need to do all the groceries from now on.
The last measure requires buying a blood glucose meter and a GPS tracker. WADA style, any place, any time - you can pop up for a test.
They could maybe look into a different type of relationship
She gets her dream body… and they might have a bit of fun along the way.
Framing goes a long way
Nothing that can’t be solved in a relationship with a GPS tracker. I used to his chocolate in HIS hoodies and jackets because never would think to look there…
When you finally catch somebody sneaking food the reality is almost surreal. My old housemate would swear blind he just couldn’t lose weight. None of us living in the house could figure out why he wasn’t losing weight. His bedroom was Spartan - we couldn’t see a way he could be stashing food.
Turns out he had a bin bag in the garden, food stored in a hole behind the desk in his room, and his bag of frozen berries in the freezer contained bars of dairy milk.
There’s a lot of shame involved in these situations.
Friend, if your engagement/relationship is built strong enough to last, its built on much more than physique. Back way off, help her from two steps behind, don’t take charge. If as you say she cares a lot about it, she will eventually reach the correct conclusions - then it’s up to her to take responsibility and fix it.
Surgery at 21 will fix nothing.
I’ve been married 10 years. 3 kids. Awesome body. She runs daily and trains lightly with dumbbells. No progression, wont hit barbells… I have learned to stay in my lane, do my thing, and let her do hers. It works for her. We would not have a healthy relationship if I managed her health/fitness.
If her fitness is a dealbreaker for you, know that only she can fix it. Just my 0.02.
Guys the situation is not getting better. I dunno what to do and I’m going crazy
Last week she actually went from 211 to 209 monday through friday. Saturday, she only had 2 meals and ate about 1500 calories. Sunday, she had 3 meals and ate about 2300 calories (3 eggs and ham for breakfast, 3 slices of pizza, meat and salad for dinner). Yesterday, we went back to extremely hardcore diet. She had 2 meals of nothing but meat and veggies… no more than 900 calories
The number is back to 210. Wtf is going on here?
I mean is there any possible answer to this outside of her not counting calories correctly? Is there some kind of condition or problem that would explain it? All her blood tests came out perfect
Why are her calories all over the place? 1500 then 2300 then 900 in 3 days?
I’m a 6"1 183lbs very active guy and I eat 2300 - 2500 right now to lose weight so why is she at 2300?
And, how in the hell can you have 2300 cals with 3 eggs and ham + slices of pizzza + meat and veggies? Were these mega giant slices?
My usual morning meal is 3 eggs + veggies + ham this is around 400 cals at most
Fat meat + veggies I’m at around 600 at most
So that’s 1300 cals from pizza considering the meat was fat. Don’t you see the issue? This is more than the fucking WHOLE pizza I’m going to eat later (precisely 1125 cals, and this is not the leanest pizza).
What kind of long term strategy is this? She is eating scattershot, you are looking over her shoulder at everything she eats, and she is eating pizza. I eat pizza, I love pizza. But if I were as serious about losing weight as you claim she is, I wouldn’t be eating pizza. Also, her weight is stabilized so she is eating maintenance (some high days, some low days, but overall maintenance). No shocker at all.
There is no problem with this type of dieting. It is how I do it. I either do my own variation of a PSMF diet or I have 2-3 low days followed by a high carb refeed.
I am 5’10 180-183 lbs and my low days can be 1000-1200 calories.
The issue here is not metabolic damage. This guy does not know what he is doing. Her 3 days average out to 1700 calories what is he expecting. She is a female so, already needs less calories than a guy, is not as active as she thinks and is most likely sneaking food.
I have nothing against calories cycling. You are an experienced dude. And I’m guessing that for her, having such fluctuations (I mean, more than double the calories) must have an effect on her hunger/psyche that she’s probably not able to resist
Sodium (and maybe carbs?) on cheat days at the end of the week makes you retain water & gain weight during the beginning of the next week!
So even though you lost a real pound vs last week (211 down to 210 Monday vs Monday) you get too focused on the “dried out” number (209 on Friday) and go crazy.
To be more consistent you could weight in once per week, on the same day every week, to compare yourself to the same level of “water weight” as last weigh-in.
