Most Annoying Gym Experience Ever

Off Topic
61

[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
SWR-1240 wrote:
I plan on opening a gym.

I would LOVE to be able to use/start a T-Nation Gym franchise where Biotest supplements are sold exclusively, and the theme was one made by this site.

That would be my dream business.

Everyone on T-Nation would tell you how great your gym is. Then they would all go to the cheapest place in town. Your gym would then go out of business.

Why are there so few hardcore gyms? Because there are so few people willing to pay the bucks.

Let’s face it: Rarely do people who start these posts not have other gym options. Instead of paying extra for a better gym, they take the cheap option.

Then they sign on an moan like it’s E-Nation.[/quote]

Thanks for the confidence in my future marketing skills, but I’ll take my chances with my gym.

And no, I’m not expecting it to be crowded.

62

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
If you do the aerobics room invasion, you have to do it wearing nothing but a sock.

[/quote]

Or stretch some lime green underwear over your shoulders like on Borat.

63

Are you suggesting that the more hard-core the gym is, the more expensive it is to train there?

I found the opposite to be true. Albany Strength is a steal at something like $13/month.

The Bally’s I went to in VA was close to $40/month.

The Powerhouse gym I go to is like a mix of the two, and it’s $25/month to go there.

I’ve seen health clubs that were much more expensive.

64

[quote]SWR-1240 wrote:

CaliforniaLaw wrote:

Why are there so few hardcore gyms? Because there are so few people willing to pay the bucks.

Are you suggesting that the more hard-core the gym is, the more expensive it is to train there?

I found the opposite to be true. Albany Strength is a steal at something like $13/month.

The Bally’s I went to in VA was close to $40/month.

The Powerhouse gym I go to is like a mix of the two, and it’s $25/month to go there.

I’ve seen health clubs that were much more expensive.[/quote]

i’d have to agree here. when i was in houston, i went to a neighborhood gym that was pretty old school and hardcore. it was $22.00 per month. LA Fitness moved in to the area and bought them, they cost $55 monthly in that neighborhood. 24 hr was $45 monthly.

65

[quote]texasguy wrote:
SWR-1240 wrote:

CaliforniaLaw wrote:

Why are there so few hardcore gyms? Because there are so few people willing to pay the bucks.

Are you suggesting that the more hard-core the gym is, the more expensive it is to train there?

I found the opposite to be true. Albany Strength is a steal at something like $13/month.

The Bally’s I went to in VA was close to $40/month.

The Powerhouse gym I go to is like a mix of the two, and it’s $25/month to go there.

I’ve seen health clubs that were much more expensive.

i’d have to agree here. when i was in houston, i went to a neighborhood gym that was pretty old school and hardcore. it was $22.00 per month. LA Fitness moved in to the area and bought them, they cost $55 monthly in that neighborhood. 24 hr was $45 monthly.

[/quote]
Off topic-
How the hell do they stay in business at those low prices ($13-25/month). I can’t see how they have a positive cash flow?

On topic-

I like the idea of getting a T-shirt with an anti-aerobics comment that the people would take offense to but the gym really couldn’t complain about. I’d also time my workout so that I grab the squat rack (and some dumbbells and a bench right before they come into the room.

Then set up a mini-circuit. That way for the next 20 minutes you can tell then “sorry, I’m using that”!

66

[quote]Ruggerlife wrote:

Off topic-
How the hell do they stay in business at those low prices ($13-25/month). I can’t see how they have a positive cash flow?

[/quote]

I think the more inexpensive “hardcore” gyms can charge less because they don’t have pools, saunas and tons of cardio equipment (I would think the more elliptical trainers running would be hard on the electric bill, plus the costs of replacing them / fixing them.)

If you invest in some weights, I would think that they should last a long time.

Anyway, that sort of describes my gym. I like my gym.

Plus we don’t have a bunch of useless trainers wandering around like when I went to the NYSC in Hoboken.

67

Great idea, make sure you video it.

[quote]PGJ wrote:
texasguy wrote:

and the worst part, the gym managers and owners don’t even care! it is fucking ridiculous. i wonder what they would think if i walked in to the center of an aerobics class in the aerobics room and began deadlifting or powercleaning?

Dude, you don’t have a hair on your ass if you don’t walk right into the aerobics room in the middle of their class and start doing powercleans. Nice and loud, too and with lots of chalk. That would be classic! Please, please video tape it if you do it. If you are planning to find another gym, why not go out in style? You would be a T-Legend.

[/quote]

68

[quote]Ruggerlife wrote:
texasguy wrote:
SWR-1240 wrote:

CaliforniaLaw wrote:

Why are there so few hardcore gyms? Because there are so few people willing to pay the bucks.

Are you suggesting that the more hard-core the gym is, the more expensive it is to train there?

I found the opposite to be true. Albany Strength is a steal at something like $13/month.

The Bally’s I went to in VA was close to $40/month.

The Powerhouse gym I go to is like a mix of the two, and it’s $25/month to go there.

I’ve seen health clubs that were much more expensive.

i’d have to agree here. when i was in houston, i went to a neighborhood gym that was pretty old school and hardcore. it was $22.00 per month. LA Fitness moved in to the area and bought them, they cost $55 monthly in that neighborhood. 24 hr was $45 monthly.

Off topic-
How the hell do they stay in business at those low prices ($13-25/month). I can’t see how they have a positive cash flow?

On topic-

I like the idea of getting a T-shirt with an anti-aerobics comment that the people would take offense to but the gym really couldn’t complain about. I’d also time my workout so that I grab the squat rack (and some dumbbells and a bench right before they come into the room.

Then set up a mini-circuit. That way for the next 20 minutes you can tell then “sorry, I’m using that”![/quote]

as another poster mentioned, they don’t have super high electric bills. cardio machines running all day pull ridiculous amounts of energy.

they don’t have to pay people to come teach classes, which are usually included in monthly dues.

they spend less on maintenance as it is much less likely for a metal bar and plates to break than for a piece on a cardio machine to wear out and i’m sure that there are lots more mundane areas where cost is much lower in the hardcore gyms.

three hundred people paying $20 bucks a month gives the gym $6000 monthly gross profits. rent probably costs a little over a grand a month, electricity below five hundred and maybe a thousand more payed to the part time desk clerks.

then, after taxes, the owner is left with a few thousand dollars profit.

most business owners are invested in other businesses as well, so he probably considers his gym just one revenue earning investment.

69

They key is to gather your evidence, have witnesses to their behavior, and then tell the management that the “ladies” are in breach of the gym’s rules. If the manager doesn’t bother to enforce the rules against them, then you potentially have a case for discrimination against you based on ______ (race or gender). The last thing a gym wants is bad publicity that involves discrimination.

You could also start a website/blog and host videos of the “ladies” engaging in their behavior and describe the gym management’s failure to do anything about it. The Internet is a wonderful thing, as it serves as a platform to publicize things that the mainstream media wouldn’t dare out of political correctness.

70

[quote]Sting wrote:
They key is to gather your evidence, have witnesses to their behavior, and then tell the management that the “ladies” are in breach of the gym’s rules. If the manager doesn’t bother to enforce the rules against them, then you potentially have a case for discrimination against you based on ______ (race or gender). The last thing a gym wants is bad publicity that involves discrimination.

You could also start a website/blog and host videos of the “ladies” engaging in their behavior and describe the gym management’s failure to do anything about it. The Internet is a wonderful thing, as it serves as a platform to publicize things that the mainstream media wouldn’t dare out of political correctness.[/quote]

Too legalistic. Sweaty deadlifts in Daisy Duke shorts is the way to go.

OR just walk into the class (appropriate 80’s outfit, of course), stand in the back and start running in place like crazy (think Flashdance), then drop down and do push-ups, then run some more, then squat-thrusts, then run some more. Keep it up until the whole class stops and is looking at you. Then say something like “oh, don’t mind me. There’s no room out there (point to weight room) to do this” and continue.

Technically, you aren’t disturbing the class since you are in the back and aren’t in anyone’s way. I can see Wil Ferrel doing this.

71

When you encounter some middle aged guy walking around with a hard on in the locker room then I’ll give you a reason to complain.

That is a disturbing sight.

Until then good luck with the land mammals.

72

I’m with you swr. I plan to open my own and go cheap. The only caviat would be that new members have to be approved by the board of admissions. You don’t have to be huge. You don’t have to be cut. You only have to have the desire and dedication to “do work.” Guest can work there for nothing more than bringing me a Surge and Spike smoothie. If they can do that, then they know…

I’m not looking to make money. The dues will be enough to pay for utilities, taxes, insurance and any other bills. New equipment will be paid for by members. You will see only two bikes, two elipticals and two treadmills.

You will have a key to get in anytime you want. 400 lbs at each bench, 700 at each squat rack and dumbells up to 150. Anyone needing anything above that, I’ll pay for out of my own pocket out of respect. You won’t see one colored dumbell or a single swiss ball. You have to have a doctor’s note to use the Smith machine, and then you have to use the one at the Y cuz we don’t have one.

Zombie, Disturbed, Crue, and the like will be blaring from the radio. If you hear Madonna then a public flogging will be permitted.

I will build it across from a bar. When you get done, you can walk across and scare the tourists.

74

Load up every station you can with big barbells and dumbells. They will ask you to move them so they can work out. From what you have said I doubt they can move anything bigger than an 8 pound pink dumbell.

Tell them you have just started a ginormous circuit set and it will be a while before you clear everything out. Tell them you don’t mind if they work in, as long as they put the weight backs.

Or, sneak into the gym in the middle of the night and fill all the pilate balls with helium. Watch the fun.

Or, sneak into the locker room and adjust the scale so it reads 10 pounds lighter. Most will leave the gym before their workout after jumping on the scale.

Or, hang a donut from the ceiling right over the Stairmaster machine and jam the thing into high gear. Watch them try to scramble up the rotating steps.

Or, tell them Richard Simmons is signing autographs over by the juice bar.

Or, get a rubber rat and drop it out of your gym bag at an opportune time. Hide it when the manager comes.

Or, paint some 75 pound dumbells pink and tell them “the pink dumbells are designed for toning”.

Or, place TV’s playing the View near all the cardio equipment.

Or, send in the Westside boys and Candid Camera.

Or, just pull the trigger and end it all.

75

[quote]hoosegow wrote:
I’m with you swr. I plan to open my own and go cheap. The only caviat would be that new members have to be approved by the board of admissions. You don’t have to be huge. You don’t have to be cut. You only have to have the desire and dedication to “do work.” Guest can work there for nothing more than bringing me a Surge and Spike smoothie. If they can do that, then they know…

I’m not looking to make money. The dues will be enough to pay for utilities, taxes, insurance and any other bills. New equipment will be paid for by members. You will see only two bikes, two elipticals and two treadmills.

You will have a key to get in anytime you want. 400 lbs at each bench, 700 at each squat rack and dumbells up to 150. Anyone needing anything above that, I’ll pay for out of my own pocket out of respect. You won’t see one colored dumbell or a single swiss ball. You have to have a doctor’s note to use the Smith machine, and then you have to use the one at the Y cuz we don’t have one.

Zombie, Disturbed, Crue, and the like will be blaring from the radio. If you hear Madonna then a public flogging will be permitted.

I will build it across from a bar. When you get done, you can walk across and scare the tourists.[/quote]
You wil be giving a key? Okay, have fun buy new equipment every week when it gets stolen.

Lol, I’d rather have members that pay $50 a month, show up maybe once a month, then having them show up every day.

Lawsuits would come like crazy, if something broke and then some idiot “tripped” on it.

77

So lets see how much some of this equipment would cost: (sources at bottom, prices can always change)

2* Bikes : $2,350
2* Rowers : $1,200
2* Epileticals : $2,800
1* Squat Rack : $200
500LB Weight Set : $450 (for both squat + bench)
5-150LB Dumbell Set : $5545
Bench Press Rack : $470
3*Beches : $1200 (just cause you may need them for different exercises)

Total w/o cardio : $7865
Total w/ Cardio : $14165
Owning your perfect gym : Priceless

Now this would still have most of the things that you would want (squat, bench press and deadlift) aswell as some cardio and any dumbell exercises aswell. However, you wont have a large customer base because you dont have alot of stuff, you wont have any matts, and the building will be very small.

Rowing Machines - SimplyFitnessEquipment (Check the RRP)

78

[quote]Mister T. wrote:
PGJ wrote:

Too legalistic. Sweaty deadlifts in Daisy Duke shorts is the way to go.

OR just walk into the class (appropriate 80’s outfit, of course), stand in the back and start running in place like crazy (think Flashdance), then drop down and do push-ups, then run some more, then squat-thrusts, then run some more. Keep it up until the whole class stops and is looking at you. Then say something like “oh, don’t mind me. There’s no room out there (point to weight room) to do this” and continue.

Technically, you aren’t disturbing the class since you are in the back and aren’t in anyone’s way. I can see Wil Ferrel doing this.

Decent idea, but he probably won’t get much attention…UNLESS he moans and groans as though he’s involved in some highly erotic sex act. To gain maximum attention, he’ll probably want to do this whilst stretching.[/quote]

He could wear big 80’s headphones and sing “What a Feeling…” to complete the Flashdance theme.

79

[quote]Mister T. wrote:
I actually belong to a gym that has a 24 hour access key for members who pay a little more. It’s not very uncommon, actually.[/quote]

True. I have 24hr access to my gym also. I had to sign an afterhours waiver and there are cameras throughout the building to deter theft.

80

Ellipticals, tradmills, WTF??? You don’t need that in your gym!! IF people want to run, tell them to run outside around ur gym wearing “T-Nation Gym” shirts with ur gyms “phone #”. (when its nice out) -That way they advertise the GYM FOR YA!!!. Don’t forget, they have to sign in to use the shirts, if they tear it, they pay it.

-However if the weather is bad, then you can let them run around inside on an indoor track that runs around the perimetry of your gym.

Still… The only cardio equipment I see that you should have a Rowers.

IF someone wants to do Steady State Cardio, give them a nice cup of STFU and have them read a few T-Nation or Crossfit articles on Complexes, and HIIT.

Also, don’t forget that ur selling the best products on the market. AND that you will have an Exclusivity Contract, giving you competitive pricing.

my2cents…

81

[quote]Sean H wrote:

1* Squat Rack : $200
500LB Weight Set : $450 (for both squat + bench)
5-150LB Dumbell Set : $5545
Bench Press Rack : $470
3*Beches : $1200 (just cause you may need them for different exercises)

better yet, take a mig/tig welding class and build all you stuff yourself. The welding I see on the machines I workout on look like crap.

83

[quote]Mister T. wrote:
NeoSpartan wrote:
Ellipticals, tradmills, WTF??? You don’t need that in your gym!! IF people want to run, tell them to run outside around ur gym wearing “T-Nation Gym” shirts with ur gyms “phone #”. (when its nice out) -That way they advertise the GYM FOR YA!!!. Don’t forget, they have to sign in to use the shirts, if they tear it, they pay it.

-However if the weather is bad, then you can let them run around inside on an indoor track that runs around the perimetry of your gym.

Still… The only cardio equipment I see that you should have a Rowers.

IF someone wants to do Steady State Cardio, give them a nice cup of STFU and have them read a few T-Nation or Crossfit articles on Complexes, and HIIT.

Also, don’t forget that ur selling the best products on the market. AND that you will have an Exclusivity Contract, giving you competitive pricing.

my2cents…

Yeah man, ellipticals are bad for you. Really.

I mean, they’re not any easier on your joints than running, especially if you’re well over 200 pounds. And really, you can’t even do HIIT or any other cool acronym super-genius scientist-sounding name exercise on them, either.

Totally worthless.[/quote]

I know, i just had em because i read about them in the thread and i though “why not?”