Men and Women, Women and Men

Off Topic
521

Based on what? She sound like she might be bragging, definitely not complaining. Your situation was different because your father was gone most of the time and money was tight, there is no indication of that here. It says he works in construction, but some skilled construction jobs pay well (maybe not by NYC standards) and he might be a contractor as well. We just don’t know enough about their situation to make any negative judgements.

The median household income in Ontario is $74k (I just looked it up for you), $35/hour and 40 hours a week adds up to approximately that. Also most households have two people working. It’s not filthy rich, but you could live comfortably off that, and he has two jobs paying that much.

I have two kids, the oldest one is 9 years old. And yes I live with them.

Its difficult when they are babies, the first 2 years or so are challenging, but maternity leave is also a year in Canada. As for the lady in the article, there is no mention of the age of her kids.

That seemed to be the implication of the comments in the article. I agree with he 2nd sentence, and that appears to be exactly what they have done.

I know New York used to be bad but nowadays Toronto is worse. Look it up, there are plenty articles on that.

That doesn’t sound like it was worth it. It’s hard to believe how expensive daycare is over there considering that the wages aren’t so great.

That was a joke

Yes but not much. I couldn’t have done it. Most days he worked 16 hours, some days he worked 24 hours straight. I’m not making this up. He would sleep in his car on breaks and occasionally had a full day off. The part time job was 2-3 days a week I believe. He did that for a year until he realized the government was robbing him.

That’s the kind of sacrifices you have to make these days if you want to have 5 kids and your wife stay home and still live comfortably.

I briefly looked into that last week, the first wave seems to have addressed some legitimate concerns (voting and property rights) but beyond the other waves gradually became more and more questionable. Also the first wave opposed rights for black women.
It’s the 4th wave where things really started to get crazy.

Almost sounds like there is a plot to break down traditional families…

Imagine if they publicly shamed a gay guy who stayed how and did housework for his boyfriend. How would that go?

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522

Ah there we go. Cheers!

Side note: Stuff like this is why day time “around the couch” news just never really interested me. Maybe when I’m elderly like their audience.

525

Also, fear.

Yep. Pretty much my view of how the world works these days. Made easier by instant info 24/7.

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526

Valid. Kids have a few rough ages when they are really difficult. My mom had three boys three and under. You can bet she would have loved to go selling on the road, lol.

I know when my kids were little, say 5 and 2, when one of us was home alone with them, we needed some way to restrain them just so we could take a shower. Restrain, as in crib or walker.

And, when the other one got home, instant hand off and gone, lol.

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527

See my response to dagill2. He made a similar point, and it’s valid.

Yep, see below, similar point.

It’s funny. I grew up in Portland Oregon. My parents bought their house in 1967 for $18K, and it wasn’t in the nicest part of town -the “ghetto” was two blocks away.

According to Zillow, it’s now worth $670K. Portland has been Califonicated and is an expensive place to live.

I bought my first house there in about 1990 for $81K, sold it a year later for $89 but actually lost money between improvements and RE commisions. It’s now worth $594K according to Zillow.

After college, I moved to Palo Alto, CA. Ridiculous. I lived in Redwood City and Santa Clara as well, also ridiculous.

Then to Orlando, where the homes in College Park went up and up and up. And, of course, finally, to Long Island.

And, this

was hyperbole. Or sarcasm. Or sardonic. I earned spending money by picking strawberries and raspberries when I was 8. Had a paper route when I was 13, out the door at 4AM, from school and football practice around six.

Sounded pretty fucking arrogant, didn’t it? My bad.

Cool…unless you were dissing me for moving out, then, well, it’s still cool.

Definitely most difficult from 0-5, but then, it gets way mo betta. You’re just trying to work yourself out of a job. I just wanted to understand where you’re coming from.

Yes, Toronto is worse. I was speaking specifically about East New York, which is a neighborhood in Brooklyn. The following is from the NY Post.

“The Post’s front page dubbed the 5.5 square miles of the precinct’s neighborhoods — East New York and Cypress Hills — a “KILLING GROUND.” Someone was slain there an average of once every 63 hours.”

More.

"The cover sheet on the clipboard hanging in the station house of Brooklyn’s blood-soaked 75th Precinct said it all: “You give us 22 minutes, we’ll give you a homicide.”

Good times, lol. Those quotes are from 1993, and I was teaching there in 2005. Things have improved dramatically from both eras - gentrificatio, lol - but we were not allowed to leave school alone after parent teacher conferences. We had to walk to the JZ train in groups.

My first day, a 17 year old seventh grader, a Crip, asked me, “Do you want me to cut you motherfucker?”

Pretty sure it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

Based solely on those numbers, it wasn’t. But, I earned years of service in the pension and got much needed experience that allowed me to upgrade to districts on Long Island. Top pay in my district is $125K base and you reach that after fifteen years. Public record. I’ve been in the system for 14 years, so yes, I have tripled my income in 14 years. My wife works in a better paying district, so yes, she makes more than I, and our combined income puts us in the top 5% in the country.

Yet, we still live paycheck to paycheck.

It’s a New York thing, for sure.

So, in the long run, it was worth it. But, at the time, it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

Ah. I’m a little slow sometimes.

I’ll leave ya’ll with a link to a humorous essay by Judy Brady. It’s called “I Want a Wife.”

http://www.columbia.edu/~sss31/rainbow/wife.html

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528

I once got lost in East NY and from what I remember everyone I asked for help with directions looked at me as if I was a ghost.

I worked in nearby Bushwick for two years which as you now Is rapidly gentrifying.

529

Provided I’m in no danger of being cut, I would love to have seen this interaction.

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Hi Chris,
Its an interesting situation in schools in Australia. They are actively trying to recruit more male teachers, because there is certainly a gender bias towards women teachers, especially in our primary school system (kids aged 5 to 12).
Not to derail the topic, just thought its interesting.
Cheers
Tim

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531

I’m resuscitating this thread so the Fatherhood thread can focus on fathering.

@FlatsFarmer @BrickHead @anna_5588 @Lonnie123 @SkyzykS @Alrightmiami19c @SepCalla @Njord and all the people I’ve forgotten.

Urban dictionary? Got it. Clearly NOT an online trope, but rather a well-supported ancient truth. You have bested me with your cool logic. :laughing:

OH NO YOU DIDN’T just insult my caseload and my people! Which include, to this point, three college professors (two male, one female, one in math (M) so not just soft sciences), too many engineers to count, one personal trainer and one physical therapist, approximately 1000 nurses, including nurse practitioners, hospital technicians, teachers, loads of admin types and small business owners, one financier, many, many blue collar workers including a couple of successful contractors and one garbage man, and so on. I’ve also worked with second home owners and retirees from bigger cities. I do have poor people and people who lack insight, but I have not been shielded from intelligence and self-awareness. For the love of God.

*My caseload reflects my small town setting. Engineers are thick here because we have a major employer that requires them. We have a college in my county as well as a hospital. Very New England. It’s different in the rural south.

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Thanks. I too realized the the other thread was getting derailed, although the relation between the sexes does overlap in the topic of fatherhood, in some cases to a large degree. I’ll post here when I get to replying to some stuff in the other thread.

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533

I agree! Particularly things more like the division of labor in families, which was discussed recently. But not so much shit tests and divorce statistics.

This made me laugh, but also made me realize that we should be going down the men/women rabbit hole somewhere else:

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534

I like this thread. How far back do I have to go on fatherhood to get caught up here? Lol

535

Probably the last half of the Fatherhood Thread.

536

That’s what I was afraid you were going to say. Sigh. Now I know how I’m gonna spend my day off …

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537

I think it starts here: The Fatherhood Thread - #414 by BrickHead

Edit: but you should go back a couple of posts further to see @Brant_Drake’s son’s homemade tortilla. :rofl:

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Oh thank you! I look forward to joining this discussion. (I think)

539

I edited the above post - don’t miss the tortilla!

540

Yes. A cultural term for a phenomenon that isn’t very secret. “Shit test” is not a clinical application.

Yet they’re all seeking external help. This isn’t an insult but a matter of fact, and in context of observed emotional acuity/stability/self-awareness.

As you’re well aware, the rural south also has college towns with hospitals and employers. I’m not sure what point you’re making.

I feel like you’re taking “shit testing” very personally for some reason. It’s not an attack. Just a broadly observed and acknowledged phenomenon.

541

Got it!

542

By men on the internet. Yes. I’m offering that it is as weak as stating that “men are just large children.” Sure, some are. It happens. But known fact and applicable to all men? Hardly. That would be silly to think, and to back it up by saying that “everyone knows” but the men who can’t see it but nonetheless demonstrate it, and offer as proof Facebook or Instagram memes, well…lol.

No point, really. Just that there are an excess of repeated trades relative to population. Also, my county has less than 75K people, Brazos County, TX, for example, has around 250K. Rarely will you find an actual SMALL town with a college and hospital in the south.