Hey T-dudes
For the last many years, I’ve had a lot of problems in my life.
this was something that was day to day and I really haven’t had time to go out much and socialise,etc due to the fact that there are one too many things that I must deal with everyday of my life. well, heres the big problem…I’m 19 now and all the guys I know are out getting with chicks,etc.So I guess its times for me to get out there and start looking.What I really want to know basically if anybody is,or knows of a late comer to the whole chick dating scene. I know it sounds pretty lame and as you’d imagine, i don’t really have much confidence. I can’t even makes a clear assesment of my own face since I seem to be seeing something different each time I look at a mirror!(since the lighting is always different).
anyway, any responses or even advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you
-One of lifes losers
You just need to get laid. Once you have had some pussy, you won’t be so messed up around women. Go to Amsterdam or Thailand for a vacation and fuck a ton of whores (rubber up and check for herpies, as for crabs make sure they are shaved). While on vacation, start talking to non-whore girls, you will feel your confidencs swell. Come back to civilization and hit on women. Good luck.
First off Mr. X, you’re not one of life’s losers. Perhaps a bit too introspective but that will disappear with maturity. My advice is not to worry about being with a “chick”. Just go out and do things that you enjoy and you will meet some females. Just try and be their friend and gain some confidence around them. It requires putting yourself in situations that are really comfortable for you now but just do it. When I was younger, I couldn’t stand the thought of public speaking. I would get physically sick. Finally I forced myself to take a Dale Carnegie course and to look for opportunities to speak in small then larger and larger crowds. I finally worked myself up to speaking in front of a thousand people. One occasion was in Argentina and, the day I showed up to take over a plant there, the whole factory went on strike as a welcome to me. I had to gather all 200 of them in the parking lot, stand on a loading platform and convince them that things were going to get better. All this in spanish which is not my native tongue. The point is, you have to take that terrifying first step. Winners summon up the inner fortitude to do it. Losers keep making excuses. Gor for it Mr. X…slowly and deliberately. Trust me, if I can overcome my hurdles, anybody can.
I am still working on bulding myself. There are a couple things I’ve learned over time about myself that may help you.
I’ve been in a slump latetly (including with women). I am determined to pull myself out by boot straps if I have to though. Read the post about Fate. You are the main factor in what happens in your life… Period.
The MOST important thing is to make an assessment of yourself. Is there anything really wrong or something that would scare off girls? If not, there is nothing to worry about and it is immaterial. If you decide there is something dreadfully wrong, it’s mostly psychological, also decide what can be done to fix it… if you thing you look like asparagus, start working out and eating.
Now to good stuff. Take time and build yourself up. Start at the bottom rung of ladder; say "hi" and try to seem open and friendly, it will become easier. When you're comfotable there, move upto the next rung; make short conversation like, "hey, how are doing?". As soon as you're comfortable there it's time to get the game on. This is where things get tricky for me. Try to make a conversation WHILE keeping them interested and preferably laughing (or giggling). As my cousin says "If you make a girl laugh, you can makeout". This part comes natural for people, like my cousin, but I need work on it. The final rung of the ladder is the most difficuly... making the first move. If she is still interested in conversation, move a little closer to her and if she don't back up, that be good! Eventually someone has to make first contact, she might tap your arm or shoulder, but sometimes you have to do something. If you're sitting in a relaxed social environment (preferably with drinks), nudge up to her and DECISEIVELY put your arm around her. It's all cake from there!
Mr. X, if you do anything just read this piece of advice. Your scenario sounds a lot like me. I suffered (still am a bit) from depression for a number of years in my life and it really sucked. Now I’m not saying that you need to see a doc., or anything, I don’t know how your situation is. But I can tell you that you need to focus on yourself. What I meen is that you need to get some friends that you can hang out with, have fun with, and not worry about girls with. From these friends you can develope a sense of self confidence that will carry over into every aspect of your life. Next, stop worring about what guys around you are doing “with girls” you still have a lot of life ahead of you and time for stuff like that. It’s been said that you usually find someone when you aren’t looking and are just being yourself (it’s true) and someday you’ll probably find that out. In conclusion, after you’ve read all this and decided that I’m full of crap, you could just ask some girl in one of your classes (I assume you’re in college) to go study sometime. It’s pretty easy to do and you’ll alway have something to talk about. Best of luck.
First of all, don’t call yourself a loser. Women can smell a dejected guy a mile away, they don’t go for it. They may feel a little sorry for you but they like confident guys.
Secondly, don’t feel you’re too late to the game. 19 is very young. I never dated much but was part of a social group…for the most part you’re not missing much. Much social life at your age revolves around drinking, sleeping around…just nothing really. Who cares. Find things you like to do, pursue them with all the passion in your soul and don’t worry about chicks. If you’re happy, confident, socialable…these things will come. Also quit looking in the mirror…everyone’s face is weird if you look at it long enough (well almost everyone’s)…too much introspection isn’t good…think “outdoing” and “active…go getter” that type of thing. A lot of being attractive is having a fun, up-beat, positive attitude.
Sounds EXACTLY like me before I tried Dr. Pryapus’s certified, one and only herbal tonic. It made me into a pimp in no time, and for the low price of 4 pymts. of 79.99 you can pimp the chicks in no time as well!
No not really… but I did read a good book that turned my dating life, to borrow a phrase from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air- flip turned-upside down…It is a book by a couple of guys named Louis and Copeland (I can’t remember their first names for the life of me) called “How to Succeed with Women” and it’s, by far and away the best book on the subject… Its a bit embarrasing to take to the checkout counter, but look at it this way: if you buy it, you will never have to embarrass yourself by purchasing another nudie mag in your life. No joke. If you apply some of the easy excercises in the book targeted to work out your “flirting muscles” you’ll be pimping in no time. Like anything it takes time and practice, but before long you’ll look around and notice that you’ve got more women than you know what to do with. As crazy as it may sound it’s totally true.My story is probably worse than yours: For 2 friggin years not a single date, not a single phone number, nada. Then I started reading all sorts of material on the subject like " Why Nice Guys don’t Get Laid," and several books on flirting, dating psychology, relationships, Dating for Dummies, etc, etc… Then I found this book, started applying the excercises and viola! Not only do I get women, but I have to choose which ones to call, date, persue, etc… And you should look at it this way- your friends are like naturally gifted athletes who can easily pack on muscle… They become the guys who are sorta big, but think that protein is the stuff that accumulates on their contact lenses (it is-- I know… but that’s not the point!) Point is, you have much more potential. You have potential to be like Warrren Beatty or Wilt Chamberlin because you will know the “art” of pimping. They will not. You are going to greatly exceed your friends in the dating world becausae of where you are now. Consider yourself to be blessed, my friend. And sorry for the overlong, rambling post. My mind has been more focused on the girl under my desk than writing.
a lot or people are wearing shoes quite similar to your’s dude, a LOT of people…
Thanks for the advice guys, i promise i’ll keep every one of those points in mind!