[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
I wonder if I have any kids I don’t know about.
Wait a minute…
File that under “things women never say.”
[/quote]
No, women say things like “yes, of COURSE it’s your baby.”
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
I wonder if I have any kids I don’t know about.
Wait a minute…
File that under “things women never say.”
[/quote]
No, women say things like “yes, of COURSE it’s your baby.”
[/quote]
Fair enough, Varq but at least the so called reproductive disadvantage has SOME advantage. We tend to know if we’ve had a baby or not.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
I wonder if I have any kids I don’t know about.
Wait a minute…
File that under “things women never say.”
[/quote]
No, women say things like “yes, of COURSE it’s your baby.”
[/quote]
Or, in the alternative “NO !!! It’s NOT your baby”.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Defekt wrote:
I would say send the chick a check, [/quote]
Why send her any money? If anything, set up a trust fund for the kid and name the father the trustee.
One random thing about not revealing the (apparent) true parentage is the girl is a legitimate 1/4 (or maybe 1/2, not sure how that works) Native American, and presumably entitled to be enrolled into the tribe.
I know there are some reasonable financial benefits related to that, and it’s basically a shoe-in in most universities due to Affirmative Action to be an actual enrolled member of a tribe.
(The only reason I thought of that is I know TTR’s wife is Jewish and pondered how Affirmative Action would work in that regard, since Jewish people (and Asians) typically have to score higher than whites on various tests/GPA in order to get into schools. Does it cancel out?)
[/quote]
I’d go savings account and keep yourself as the trustee. Mom hiding it already shows dubious character. Never know when that might flair up and you get dinged with a decade of retroactive child support (SURPRISE ! You owe six figures). Although now that I think about it, up here in Canada as a native I believe the first nations set there own family laws, and there are certain ways those interact even when dealing with interatial stuff. Is it not the same down there?
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
I wonder if I have any kids I don’t know about.
Wait a minute…
File that under “things women never say.”
[/quote]
No, women say things like “yes, of COURSE it’s your baby.”
[/quote]
Fair enough, Varq but at least the so called reproductive disadvantage has SOME advantage. We tend to know if we’ve had a baby or not.
[/quote]
And in a matriarchal, matrilineal society, that would be all that would matter.
Not many of those around these days.
Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, all considered, is a different topic.
Kids are stronger than most people think. Everyone say the kids will do this or that if they find out. It’s like war, if you haven’t been there you really don’t know.
My parents gave me to my fathers parents when I was 11 mths old. I’ve never even seen a picture of my mother and I probably spent maybe 10 mths actually living(visiting) with my father before I went in the service. Had 3 step mothers, 5 step siblings, 4 half siblings. Big Fat Hairy Deal. They were like distant cousins at the most. They didn’t raise me.
I’m half Hawaiian and back then I was less than human to full bloods of any race. There are so many mixed race people today it isn’t nearly as big a deal. Will there be some assholes? Sure, but, I doubt if she’ll have teachers and coaches call her names like they did me.
If you want to set up a trust go for it. You can even set it up so she’ll never find the “Good Samaritan”.
If you want to tell her go for it. She may be happy, she may hate you, or she may just not give a fuck. Just remember that whatever happens afterwards can never be reversed. The government told me they found my mother during my background checks. Asked if I wanted her address. I wasn’t interested. Why would I be?
[quote]silverblood wrote:
I’m half Hawaiian and back then I was less than human to full bloods of any race. There are so many mixed race people today it isn’t nearly as big a deal. Will there be some assholes? Sure, but, I doubt if she’ll have teachers and coaches call her names like they did me.
[/quote]
If it’s any consolation, these are the only people in the world who are legitimately “full bloods of any race”, according to DNA sequencing.
And at one time, literally every human being in the world looked exactly like them.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]fraggle wrote:
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]TooHuman wrote:
because it will be far worse if the child discovers this on her own in the future.[/quote]
No way. The older she is when she finds out the easier it will be to handle. [/quote]
Yeah I have to agree. It really sucks for the dad, as I would absolutely want to know if it was me. I would still be the kids dad but I sure as hell would drop the whore wife. But, kids welfare comes first[/quote]
Depends.
If I knew she had a fling when we were separated… Who am I to judge? We were separated. As long as she wasn’t fucking other people when we were agreed to be exclusive, I can’t call her a whore in any way.
That said, I’d rather not know until the kid was older. If that makes me a “beta” I dont’ give a shit. As long as she isn’t banging other people NOW, I’d rather blissful ignorance so I can enjoy my family. Fuck my whole life up when she is in college, not grade school. [/quote]
Of course you can call her a whore. She had a child outside of a stable household relationship. Responsible adults don’t have kids they can’t fucking support.
Further, all that waiting till she’s 18 will do is give the mother a chance to brainwash her daughter she wasn’t an irresponsible whore that manipulated/deceived her father(the fact that he’s not the biological father is irrelevant) into a dysfunctional(YES ALL marriages based on deception/manipulation are dysfunctional) marriage). Telling her now will allow her to confront her mother and come to terms with the terrible reality that she’s NOT a good person and embrace the incredible empathy being shown by her father.
The guys on this thread and the OP showing concern for the girl are far more empathetic than her own damn mother who is putting her own selfishness first by continuing to deceive her daughter. She should reveal the truth, take the shitstorm of JUSTIFIED anger from her daughter and husband, and work towards their forgiveness as hard as she possibly can.
Having a child is THE MOST important decision you can make in your life and this bullshit about just letting people(read: single mothers) off the hook from making terrible decisions is a fucking cancer on society.
[quote]silverblood wrote:
I’m half Hawaiian and back then I was less than human to full bloods of any race. [/quote]
Silverblood? You should be Alloyblood!
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]silverblood wrote:
I’m half Hawaiian and back then I was less than human to full bloods of any race. There are so many mixed race people today it isn’t nearly as big a deal. Will there be some assholes? Sure, but, I doubt if she’ll have teachers and coaches call her names like they did me.
[/quote]
If it’s any consolation, these are the only people in the world who are legitimately “full bloods of any race”, according to DNA sequencing.
And at one time, literally every human being in the world looked exactly like them.[/quote]
You say that with such conviction![/quote]
DNA tests are all about conviction.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
my older brother married a chick with a 2 YO boy, then got married a year later. Boy’s dad was a deadbeat, so brother adopted the boy, and had another boy with this chick.
then they tell the boy that my brother is his father (hope he never checks the wedding photos), and everyone in the family backs my brother and his wife on this.
now, boy is 19, in college, and still thinks that my brother is his father.
I think that’s way wrong - at some point, they are going to have to come clean, and tell this boy that they have been lying to him all his life.
right?[/quote]
Meh, same thing happened to me. I found out when I was 18 that my dad is not my biological, I could give two shits. My dad raised me, and put up with my shit, who cares about the guy who donated sperm. [/quote]
What if the guy who donated sperm didn’t know he donated sperm? I’d be pretty devastated if a 19-20 year old one day showed up at my door with proof he/she was my biological child and realize that I had missed out on her growing up or being there for her.
I quite frankly don’t know if I wouldn’t end up in jail for seriously hurting the woman who’d deny me the option of being in my child’s life.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
[quote]Defekt wrote:
I would say send the chick a check, [/quote]
Why send her any money? If anything, set up a trust fund for the kid and name the father the trustee.
One random thing about not revealing the (apparent) true parentage is the girl is a legitimate 1/4 (or maybe 1/2, not sure how that works) Native American, and presumably entitled to be enrolled into the tribe.
I know there are some reasonable financial benefits related to that, and it’s basically a shoe-in in most universities due to Affirmative Action to be an actual enrolled member of a tribe.
(The only reason I thought of that is I know TTR’s wife is Jewish and pondered how Affirmative Action would work in that regard, since Jewish people (and Asians) typically have to score higher than whites on various tests/GPA in order to get into schools. Does it cancel out?)
[/quote]
Your option is probably a better one.
After reading the rest of the thread, I would say not to mess with it until she is much older.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
I wonder if I have any kids I don’t know about.
Wait a minute…
File that under “things women never say.”
[/quote]
No, women say things like “yes, of COURSE it’s your baby.”
[/quote]
Fair enough, Varq but at least the so called reproductive disadvantage has SOME advantage. We tend to know if we’ve had a baby or not.
[/quote]
And in a matriarchal, matrilineal society, that would be all that would matter.
Not many of those around these days.
Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, all considered, is a different topic.[/quote]
I tend to disagree, the glorious neo-matriarchy is ever expanding.
[quote]Will207 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Meh, same thing happened to me. I found out when I was 18 that my dad is not my biological, I could give two shits. My dad raised me, and put up with my shit, who cares about the guy who donated sperm. [/quote]
I highly doubt most 18 year olds today would be able to handle such a revelation. [/quote]
And yet they do it every day, with grace and dignity. Do you know any 18-year-olds?