Lines That Aren't Funny Anymore

Off Topic
81

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?

82

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?
[/quote]
They had those back then? I picked it up at a garage sale, same table as yours.

Boom!

83

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]solidkhalid wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]solidkhalid wrote:
With all due respect[/quote]

Khalid!

missed you round here, what you been up to?[/quote]

Training my ass off is what! =) [/quote]

We don’t believe you. People with long hair lie…constantly.

[/quote]

That’s why I cut my hair. I got tired of being a damned liar.

84

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?
[/quote]
They had those back then? I picked it up at a garage sale, same table as yours.

Boom![/quote]

Geez…

A garage sale, huh? You shoulda just gotten it from the toilet store. That way you could have taken it back for a refund…like I did.

85

“My bad.”

That one was never funny to me.

86

[quote]Nards wrote:
“My bad.”

That one was never funny to me.[/quote]

Thats cause we’re, you know, ancient.

87

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
“SAY! Don’t get sore!..SEE??”

Actually, this never gets old. If you want to amuse yourself and confuse the hell out of friends and colleagues, add a circa 1920’s “SEE??” to the end of every statement. It makes it a very strong imperative.

Bonus points if you refer to women as “Dames”
[/quote]

Holy shit, I said both at work the other night in a conversation joking around lol, NYeah, Nyeah sniffsniff* It only works with a James Cagney voice.

88

I like to say “Why I oughta pound you!” in that Jimmy Cagney voice.

89

[quote]Nards wrote:
I like to say “Why I oughta pound you!” in that Jimmy Cagney voice.[/quote]

Guilty.

“I hit Kraco, Kraco hit’s me”. I’ve tried that line a few times and sadly nobody gets the referance :frowning:

90

Game changer

91

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?
[/quote]
They had those back then? I picked it up at a garage sale, same table as yours.

Boom![/quote]

Geez…

A garage sale, huh? You shoulda just gotten it from the toilet store. That way you could have taken it back for a refund…like I did.
[/quote]
Are you tricking me? If free shipping and electronic refunds are not included, I don’t understand. Is the toilet store aka overstock.com? They have lots of over played shit for cheap.

92

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?
[/quote]
They had those back then? I picked it up at a garage sale, same table as yours.

Boom![/quote]

Geez…

A garage sale, huh? You shoulda just gotten it from the toilet store. That way you could have taken it back for a refund…like I did.
[/quote]
Are you tricking me? If free shipping and electronic refunds are not included, I don’t understand. Is the toilet store aka overstock.com? They have lots of over played shit for cheap.[/quote]

Overstock.com? In my book, they’re barely one step above www.help_a_nigerian_prince_move_his_fortune_for_a_cut_of_the_loot.com

Just go to a frickin’ local brick and mortar toilet store for God’s sakes. Is that too much to ask for you spoiled eBaby, you…

93

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.

ie 1:

Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you

ie 2:

Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”

Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]

…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.[/quote]

Hahahaha…

Nice…

Where did you get that line from? The toilet…store?
[/quote]
They had those back then? I picked it up at a garage sale, same table as yours.

Boom![/quote]

Geez…

A garage sale, huh? You shoulda just gotten it from the toilet store. That way you could have taken it back for a refund…like I did.
[/quote]
Are you tricking me? If free shipping and electronic refunds are not included, I don’t understand. Is the toilet store aka overstock.com? They have lots of over played shit for cheap.[/quote]

Overstock.com? In my book, they’re barely one step above www.help_a_nigerian_prince_move_his_fortune_for_a_cut_of_the_loot.com

Just go to a frickin’ local brick and mortar toilet store for God’s sakes. Is that too much to ask for you spoiled eBaby, you…

[/quote]
I’m pretty sure “brick and mortar” isn’t funny anymore.

Did you know you can even grocery shop online and have your stuff delivered for a minimal fee these days?

Waiting in a line was never funny.

94

HEY! Don’t knock the brick and mortar. Sometimes the best deals and customer service/satisfaction comes from walking your lazy ass into an actual retail establishment.

95

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
HEY! Don’t knock the brick and mortar. Sometimes the best deals and customer service/satisfaction comes from walking your lazy ass into an actual retail establishment.[/quote]
Wut?
Who needs customer service when the whole process is automated to prevent fuck ups?

And if we only had to pay for built in logistical costs and not retail real estate and salaries our deals would be way better. Holding up progress is not funny anymore!

96

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Wut?
Who needs customer service when the whole process is automated to prevent fuck ups?
[/quote]

Cuz there’s no such thing as defective products…

Assuming someone earning 2 cents an hour in a Chinese sweatshop/factory won’t fuck up isn’t funny anymore either.

97

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Wut?
Who needs customer service when the whole process is automated to prevent fuck ups?
[/quote]

Cuz there’s no such thing as defective products…

Assuming someone earning 2 cents an hour in a Chinese sweatshop/factory won’t fuck up isn’t funny anymore either.[/quote]
Yeah but then you just mail it in, postage reimbursed and don’t have to drive to some store and hope for an enthusiastic, upstanding clerk.

I think we’re actually arguing now. Would be impossible if not for the internet.

98

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

I think we’re actually arguing now. Would be impossible if not for the internet.[/quote]

I know, right?

…I mean…

To be honest, at the end of the day, this is NOT good.

My bad.

99

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

I think we’re actually arguing now. Would be impossible if not for the internet.[/quote]

I know, right?

…I mean…

To be honest, at the end of the day, this is NOT good.

My bad.[/quote]
It’s cool man. I mean really other than research, shopping and porn, what amount of time spent on the internet isn’t retarded?

100

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

I think we’re actually arguing now. Would be impossible if not for the internet.[/quote]

I know, right?

…I mean…

To be honest, at the end of the day, this is NOT good.

My bad.[/quote]
It’s cool man. I mean really other than research, shopping and porn, what amount of time spent on the internet isn’t retarded?[/quote]

None of it, my Level 0 brother. None at all.