[quote]Hell-Billy wrote:
prefacing a sentence with “honestly”, “to be honest”,etc.[/quote]
Exactly! I’m so sick of that one.
[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.
ie 1:
Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you
ie 2:
Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”
Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[quote]Edgy wrote:
you’re right Pimpster - I take it back.
[/quote]
Probably best to enter through Saskatchewan. There’s only one border patrol agent, and he’s mostly high off his ass from huffing volatile solvents…
[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
you’re right Pimpster - I take it back.
[/quote]
Probably best to enter through Saskatchewan. There’s only one border patrol agent, and he’s mostly high off his ass from huffing volatile solvents…[/quote]
we were going to access through the main ports of entry, hit all the bars and buy drinks for everyone. discuss the merits of hockey and then assimilate.
slowly turn Canada from a Socialist Republic to Capitalism and then raid all the natural resources all under the noses of the Snow Hippies.
ya’all’re so polite, that I know you wont resist.
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.
ie 1:
Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you
ie 2:
Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”
Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]
…am I dating myself?
No homo
[quote]postholedigger wrote:
[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Anything Steven Seagal says in a movie when trying to be witty.
ie 1:
Seagal (totally deadpan): Come on, give me your best shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal (still expressionless): no, I said your “best” shot.
Bad guy:
Seagal: If that’s the best you’ve got, I’m going to have to kill you
ie 2:
Seagal sees a campaign poster for a bad guy who is running for office. The campaign poster contains the bad guy’s campaign catch phrase “…and you can take that to the bank.”
Seagal: I’m going to take YOU to the bank…the BLOOD bank.[/quote]How old are you?
[/quote]
…am I dating myself?
[/quote]
now you are. And your phrase starts the “how to know you are ancient” thread nicely.
OP’s post was great. And so true. Who writes these lines into a script and thinks, “Yea man, I bet THIS line will KILL them!”
And I’ve gotta say that although I really loved The Mummy, I think every one of those lines was said by someone in it… including the, “When I say ‘We’ve been in worse times than this,’ I mean THIS!”
Corny ass lines ruin movies. Like the Expendables, which could have been awesome if it was written by autistic monkeys.
“Please stop following me home from work”
If you use the phrase “at the end of the day,” you love to hear yourself talk.
I am tired of understatement as humor.
ex: Good guy shoots the dinosaur, dinosaur collapses…then its belly splits open and a ten-headed fire breathing snake pops out.
He says “This is not good.”
(didn’t I say this one already?)
The word “No” can be a punchline and therefore if you use it more than once it’s copying the same joke.
Here’s what I mean:
Marge: Homer…did you eat the Thanksgiving turkey by yourself?!? Thanksgiving isn’t for two days!
Homer:…No.
Marge And it was still frozen!
Homer:…Your point being?
So The Simpsons should only get to use this once (including the “your point being?” and other useon that show or any other is shitty ass plagiarism!
“Nobody made you volunteer.”
Not funny, not enlightening, and I fucking know what I did. What the hell, am I supposed to say “aw shucks, that’s right, guess I’ll stop complaining” every time some asshole hits me with this thunderbolt?
Character inadvertently says something he/she is thinking out loud e.g. “I would love to tap that ass” or “Holy shit you are ugly”
awkward pause, everyone stares at character
“Did I just say that out loud?”
Audience: LOLOLOLOLOLOL
When things go well on a first date and you drive her to your local “make out point”, then sit in silence in the driver’s seat, looking at her face…analyzing…scrutinizing it. Your face suddenly contorts to a mixture of disgust and disappointment, and you grab a hammer from behind the seat, start smacking it against your hand, and inform her…“you’re not Susan…NONE OF THEM ARE SUSAN!!!”.
Chicks just don’t find that funny anymore. Not sure why, exactly.
[quote]TDub301 wrote:
#_____________[/quote]
#totallyagreewithyou
[quote]Ambugaton wrote:
“Nobody made you volunteer.”
Not funny, not enlightening, and I fucking know what I did. What the hell, am I supposed to say “aw shucks, that’s right, guess I’ll stop complaining” every time some asshole hits me with this thunderbolt? [/quote]
Holy shit you play Quiddich?
There are tons of Office Sayings that drive me up the wall, here are a couple:
“Lets wordsmith this”
“We need to get this in front of a focus group.”
“Makin’ Copies!”
“Makin’ Coffee!”
“I’m goona crush it!”
“Lets crush this meeting”
Basically anything with “crush” in it.
Others that I haven’t noticed in the thread yet:
“Get Jiggy w it!”
“We’re goona need a bigger ________” (Boat, Car, Table, Coffee pot)
EVERY LINE OF SCRIPT FROM ANY WAYNES WORLD SKETCH OR MOVIE
EVERY LINE OF SCRIPT FROM ANY AUSTIN POWERS MOVIE
“Milk was a bad choice!”
There’s bound to be more.
[quote]Samir wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
“That’s what she said”
It wasn’t even funny anymore when Steve Carrell did it every fuckin’ episode of the Office.[/quote]
+1[/quote]
Not really something that isnt funny, but that “+1” thing should be mentioned. For some reason when I see this I imagine Mitch Hedberg saying “Oh you feel similarly? We should form a club”
[quote]BennyHayes wrote:
If you use the phrase “at the end of the day,” you love to hear yourself talk.[/quote]
Well at the end of the day, I think you’re a douchebag.
Hey…that DOES sound good…