[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
“my people like you.”
[/quote]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, little Missy! Your people don’t know for sure whether they like him until we know how much he deadlifts.[/quote]
My girlfriends, who are also my people, don’t care about that! And they have fifty percent of the vote.[/quote]
Not even the ones who lift? 
[/quote]
I’m the only one of my close friends interested in this stuff.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Speaking of romping with ye ol’ Hockey (you did speak of this, yes?), I was in bed the other day with me woman and she was softly cooing the lyrics to this song in me ear after I made her feel like a woman for the 4,568th time.
Do you carry this song on your lips and in your soul now, Em?
I hope so.
thank God it wasn’t Muskrat Love
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I saw this yesterday waiting for the doctor and have been thinking about it. You’re right, I do enjoy it, but in thinking about what I want I think I would like to have someone in my life who doesn’t require that I suppress or stifle myself. I haven’t had that in the past. I don’t think I flirt or do anything here that would upset a boyfriend.
Yes, it’s a public forum, but it would still be odd to start searching out my posts here. He posts on a tractor forum sometimes (lol) and I would never (and I mean NEVER) intrude. If he wants to check it out, see what this is, that’s fine, but to follow along would be weird. Like reading my emails.
It would be weird to even want to. On the other hand, TNation spurred an interest in lifting in me. So if he does decide to join in, there may be benefits.
So I plan to continue being me and hope I can be the unstifled EmilyQ he knows and loves, too.[/quote]
You post personal stuff here, but nothing really private, like pictures of your kids. I don’t even know whether or not you have kids so you’ve done a good job of maintaining your privacy.
I don’t think him coming here would be strange. But if he did stop by he wouldn’t have to “search out” your posts (ooh, sounds stalker-ish!) since this thread is still on the front page of the Get a Life forum. Personally, I would probably come here just to see why you think posting here is wierd, and why you felt need to tell. After this thread has died a natural death and been buried, it would be a little weird for him to dig it up, but not very.
In fact, since this forum is public, and you felt the need to tell him, it’s practically an invitation for him to check it out.
edit: I was wrong.
[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I saw this yesterday waiting for the doctor and have been thinking about it. You’re right, I do enjoy it, but in thinking about what I want I think I would like to have someone in my life who doesn’t require that I suppress or stifle myself. I haven’t had that in the past. I don’t think I flirt or do anything here that would upset a boyfriend.
Yes, it’s a public forum, but it would still be odd to start searching out my posts here. He posts on a tractor forum sometimes (lol) and I would never (and I mean NEVER) intrude. If he wants to check it out, see what this is, that’s fine, but to follow along would be weird. Like reading my emails.
It would be weird to even want to. On the other hand, TNation spurred an interest in lifting in me. So if he does decide to join in, there may be benefits.
So I plan to continue being me and hope I can be the unstifled EmilyQ he knows and loves, too.[/quote]
You post personal stuff here, but nothing really private, like pictures of your kids. I don’t even know whether or not you have kids so you’ve done a good job of maintaining your privacy.
I don’t think him coming here would be strange. But if he did stop by he wouldn’t have to “search out” your posts (ooh, sounds stalker-ish!) since this thread is still on the front page of the Get a Life forum. Personally, I would probably come here just to see why you think posting here is wierd, and why you felt need to tell. After this thread has died a natural death and been buried, it would be a little weird for him to dig it up, but not very.
In fact, since this forum is public, and you felt the need to tell him, it’s practically an invitation for him to check it out.[/quote]
I don’t think checking it out would be weird, I think following along without telling me or going back to old posts or whatever would be, but perhaps I’m basing that on his personality. He seemed to think it was not unusual that I would be interested in it, given that “you’re an athlete” (which is quite a stretch). My ex-boyfriend was much more focused on the “muscle men” aspect, but he had jealousy issues, I suppose because of his own inability to manage temptation. Speaking of which, it’s possible that he reads here. I told him about it, too. If he does or did read, I’m sure he’s read some things he’d rather not have.
What I do know is that I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding things. The rest doesn’t matter to me as much as that. I want to be able to log onto TNation without feeling secretive about it. If he looks, he looks. It will all be okay one way or another.
In fact, he’s probably deadlifting right now, in response to Push’s posts. 
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
“my people like you.”
[/quote]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, little Missy! Your people don’t know for sure whether they like him until we know how much he deadlifts.[/quote]
My girlfriends, who are also my people, don’t care about that! And they have fifty percent of the vote.[/quote]
Not even the ones who lift?
[/quote]
I’m the only one of my close friends interested in this stuff. :-([/quote]
That’s a problem.
:-)[/quote]
I have a number of peripheral people in my life who share my passion for one sport or another, but none of my closest buds are as motivated as I am, and they’re who I talk to about boys.
Hockey has sports he’s passionate about and gets how I feel. He’s also in good enough shape to do the kind of recreation I like to do. That’s what matters to me.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
edit: I was wrong.[/quote]
About what?
My wife logged on here a couple of times a long time ago and got a couple of bottles of Fahrenheit. Other than that she has not interest in this type of stuff. Actually, she doesn’t have much interest in forums or social media as a whole.
Some people just don’t.
Of course I did catch her snooping my computer by bookmarking some ridiculous porn which she couldn’t resist asking me about, at which point the trap was sprung and she was busted.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Severiano wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Severiano wrote:
If we all agree people get what they demand or deserve, it seems to imply that life is fair. Kind of a smack in the face of Outliers. [/quote]
I agree. It’s less clear-cut than our conversation would indicate. What if you’re the soul of kindness and possessed of sterling character, but are ugly with a poorly proportioned physique? [/quote]
Pretty much. If you have read the book it will make a bit more sense… People who are born with money have more opportunity and tend to be raised in a more challenging and engaged way by their parents which gives them social advantages throughout life, it’s just one example.
There are also those kids who are born at a certain time of year and have advantages at a very early age over other children due into their development and it carries through to adulthood. Funny thing you are dating a hockey person, because Hockey player success especially in Canada has a close co-relation to birth date, those kids selected at a young age get their 10000 hours early as well as better coaching so by the time they are 10 years old they are head and shoulders above other kids because through those developmental years they would receive superior and more coaching than the kid who didn’t have as much, “potential.” Really at that age potential is measured by development, and development of just a few months at a young age is substantial enough for coaches to select older more developed players.
This is life… It happens. People get opportunities and chances they don’t necessarily deserve. It’s up to us to understand that, and those of us who are on the short end to be defiant and strive to be the best we can in the face of adversity. It doesn’t only apply to things like sports, but everything in life.
So, maybe consider people with thyroid issues or physical disfigurement or abuse that impacts people’s social anxieties and or sexual performance.
I tend to be pretty introspective and understand very well that perhaps I am vain for refusing to date overweight women who are otherwise amazing people. There is one in particular I have a level of admiration for and have this wish to see her with a good guy who treats her well. I think sometimes, if I weren’t so vain I would show her how she should be treated, but there is little that can be done if you simply aren’t attracted to a person, no matter how golden they are.
I’m simply saying life is what it is. We aren’t in control of as much as we think. Opportunity usually isn’t something that is deserved, but tied to chance. [/quote]
I suppose it is safe to say that the key is to be worthy of your blessings while striving to overcome your trials.
P.S.
There are a great many books on the topics of inequality and unearned advantage, coming at the matter from all different directions. Personal attributes, familial and cultural advantages and disadvantages, etc. It’s interesting to study. Have I asked you before what your major is?[/quote]
Philosophy, both Core as well as Ethics and Public Policy. My subjects of interest were Language and Law, some meta ethics.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
edit: I was wrong.[/quote]
About what?[/quote]
I thought you needed to be logged in as a user to see GAL.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
My 1:00 appointment has no-showed and for a change I’m all caught up on paperwork and phone calls, so I thought I’d process some feelings.
I’m falling at dizzying speed for Hockey, and it’s scaring me. I don’t know what to do with the intensity of my feelings, which are basically: liking, admiration, and - scariest of all - tentative trust. Everything I want and need is there, including the sex drive and dirty mind. With Tim I was never scared because I knew all along that it probably couldn’t and shouldn’t last.
Now I’m scared. I hate being scared.[/quote]
Allow me to suggest that you discuss this with him.
[/quote]
What should I say?
Edit: bearing in mind that it’s only been a couple of months.
[/quote]
Emily at a loss for words? No way! 
I don’t know; you could go as deep or as shallow as you want.
After 2 months, I’d probably say something like, “I know it’s only been a couple of months, but I’m really starting to like you, and, to be honest, it scares me a little.” From that point, I can only imagine that a discussion – productive in one way or another – will ensue.
As you know, even if nothing dramatic gets said, the simple act of acknowledging and verbalizing it will often settle some of those feelings down. But I’m guessing that you’ll also get some valuable feedback from him.
Something to consider: What advice would you give a client in this situation? [/quote]
I would say “Be cool, for the love of god!”
No, kidding. I was going to post this morning, after thinking about it a great deal yesterday, that I’m going to say essentially what you’ve suggested. My sense is that he is right there with me, at least in terms of feeling very good about things. But maybe he acts that way all the time and I’m misinterpreting. But I don’t think so. But maybe.
I am increasingly anxious to have the talk.
Edit: Hey, maybe I should have it on Valentine’s Day! I’ve heard men love relationship talks, it would be like a gift! lol[/quote]
What a wonderful idea!!!
Sheesh.
You do that, and I’ll refuse to give you suggestions anymore.
I’m sure it will go well, and you will feel reassured – until the next step up! :-)[/quote]
It went well.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
My wife logged on here a couple of times a long time ago and got a couple of bottles of Fahrenheit. Other than that she has not interest in this type of stuff. Actually, she doesn’t have much interest in forums or social media as a whole.
Some people just don’t.
Of course I did catch her snooping my computer by bookmarking some ridiculous porn which she couldn’t resist asking me about, at which point the trap was sprung and she was busted.
[/quote]
I agree, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. My sense of Hockey is that the reading would be tiresome for him in this format and he would be bored unless I was saying something truly scintillating.
Last night he was using my computer to set up his cable account so we could get the Olympics and he had questions about my widgets. I’m sure like your wife he’d be interested in a quick skim through my laptop, though we’re not at a place in our relationship where I think he’d allow himself to look around.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
My 1:00 appointment has no-showed and for a change I’m all caught up on paperwork and phone calls, so I thought I’d process some feelings.
I’m falling at dizzying speed for Hockey, and it’s scaring me. I don’t know what to do with the intensity of my feelings, which are basically: liking, admiration, and - scariest of all - tentative trust. Everything I want and need is there, including the sex drive and dirty mind. With Tim I was never scared because I knew all along that it probably couldn’t and shouldn’t last.
Now I’m scared. I hate being scared.[/quote]
Allow me to suggest that you discuss this with him.
[/quote]
What should I say?
Edit: bearing in mind that it’s only been a couple of months.
[/quote]
Emily at a loss for words? No way!
I don’t know; you could go as deep or as shallow as you want.
After 2 months, I’d probably say something like, “I know it’s only been a couple of months, but I’m really starting to like you, and, to be honest, it scares me a little.” From that point, I can only imagine that a discussion – productive in one way or another – will ensue.
As you know, even if nothing dramatic gets said, the simple act of acknowledging and verbalizing it will often settle some of those feelings down. But I’m guessing that you’ll also get some valuable feedback from him.
Something to consider: What advice would you give a client in this situation? [/quote]
I would say “Be cool, for the love of god!”
No, kidding. I was going to post this morning, after thinking about it a great deal yesterday, that I’m going to say essentially what you’ve suggested. My sense is that he is right there with me, at least in terms of feeling very good about things. But maybe he acts that way all the time and I’m misinterpreting. But I don’t think so. But maybe.
I am increasingly anxious to have the talk.
Edit: Hey, maybe I should have it on Valentine’s Day! I’ve heard men love relationship talks, it would be like a gift! lol[/quote]
What a wonderful idea!!!
Sheesh.
You do that, and I’ll refuse to give you suggestions anymore.
I’m sure it will go well, and you will feel reassured – until the next step up! :-)[/quote]
It went well.
[/quote]
Thought it would; good!
Now are going to spill any more than that one bean?[/quote]
I don’t know what to say. It just keeps being better and better and still nothing dark or concerning. I’ve never been treated as chivalrously but he’s not stuffy or formal at all; he makes me laugh until my stomach hurts; he can do things that awe me; and he’s very, very nice to sleep with and wake up with.
He seems to have a similar sense of gratitude and delight.
[quote]Severiano wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
There are a great many books on the topics of inequality and unearned advantage, coming at the matter from all different directions. Personal attributes, familial and cultural advantages and disadvantages, etc. It’s interesting to study. Have I asked you before what your major is?[/quote]
Philosophy, both Core as well as Ethics and Public Policy. My subjects of interest were Language and Law, some meta ethics. [/quote]
Ah, picking ideas apart to examine them. We have that in common.
WHOA. I just walked into my bathroom and discovered this. SOMEONE has been tampering with my toothpaste!