[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I blocked him, but of course being me felt the need to say so.
[/quote]
Better not to tell them imo, but probably not a big deal.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
How could it have happened? I wasn’t being friendly or welcoming. The last thing I said was “I don’t even want to be your friend.”
I can’t imagine that if he’d shown up at Hockey’s place I’d have shown him our seedlings or let him see my bedding on Hockey’s bed.*
[/quote]
I wasn’t being so literal.
My point was that until you completely shut the door to him – annihilated him, so to speak-- there was always the chance that he could reappear in your life in some way.[/quote]
Hit him with a RKO.[/quote]
RKO didn’t stop Cena last night though.
← still watches some Monday Night Raw every now and then as a guilty pleasure.
[quote]andypotent wrote:
I was in foster care since 2-3 years old and got adopted at 5. I was left with a photo album of all my family and I reroute my roots just last Saturday and it turns out I have a sister who is 17… She’s been playing hockey for 7 years and is built more than the guys her age. I’m so proud.[/quote]
Awesome! Thanks for sharing. Have you had a chance to hang out with your sister?
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
How could it have happened? I wasn’t being friendly or welcoming. The last thing I said was “I don’t even want to be your friend.”
I can’t imagine that if he’d shown up at Hockey’s place I’d have shown him our seedlings or let him see my bedding on Hockey’s bed.*
[/quote]
I wasn’t being so literal.
My point was that until you completely shut the door to him – annihilated him, so to speak-- there was always the chance that he could reappear in your life in some way.[/quote]
Hit him with a RKO.[/quote]
I’ll certainly have the element of surprise on my side!
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
LoRez, exciting and hopeful news! I’m thrilled for you that you’re feeling good about things and ready to move forward. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for smooth transitions at both work and home. : )[/quote]
[quote]Chushin wrote:
Good luck![/quote]
Thanks to both of you.
So, happy people, a question: how long do or can infatuation-type feelings last?
I’m curious.
Until I orgasm.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Until I orgasm.[/quote]
Cynic.
I think of myself as a romantic.
After the clothes have been torn off, the furniture has been over-turned, the sheets messed, and the breathing slowed, what’s left is love.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I think of myself as a romantic.
After the clothes have been torn off, the furniture has been over-turned, the sheets messed, and the breathing slowed, what’s left is love.
[/quote]
And humidity.
I don’t think that’s a very cynical attitude at all. In fact, those few minutes after coming are moments of great clarity.
You either want to collect your clothes and get the hell out of there, or you start thinking that laying here next to this person is kind of nice and you could get used to this.
I think that’s a fairly decent working definition of men’s experience of love: someone who you could see yourself spending time with after you come.
I don’t ever have sex with anyone I won’t want to spend time with afterward, so I don’t have to worry about that part. I’m more asking about the long term of these feelings. If you’ve made a good match, does the adoration just go on and on?
Tim and I were together off and on for a little over two years, and I feel like I actively adored him right up until I realized that he wasn’t just complicated, he was broken beyond repair. And even then it took me a while to process that I was heartsick over someone I’d largely created in my imagination.
So if you find someone who is genuinely worthy of adoration, do you get to keep that moonstruck/infatuated feeling forever?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And even then it took me a while to process that I was heartsick over someone I’d largely created in my imagination.
[/quote]
Isn’t that what it comes down to though? A reality switch. Is the person you are adoring real or imaginary? The inputs that generate these feelings may be on a spectrum, but I’m convinced that the outputs are a simple yes or no.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So if you find someone who is genuinely worthy of adoration, do you get to keep that moonstruck/infatuated feeling forever?
[/quote]
No, the dopamine high wears off, then you run on oxytocin.
What I am trying to say is, now you run on coke, then you run on heroin.
Kinda…
[quote]orion wrote:
What I am trying to say is, now you run on coke, then you run on heroin.
Kinda…[/quote]
Haha, that was my thought when I first read that.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t ever have sex with anyone I won’t want to spend time with afterward, so I don’t have to worry about that part. I’m more asking about the long term of these feelings. If you’ve made a good match, does the adoration just go on and on?
Tim and I were together off and on for a little over two years, and I feel like I actively adored him right up until I realized that he wasn’t just complicated, he was broken beyond repair. And even then it took me a while to process that I was heartsick over someone I’d largely created in my imagination.
So if you find someone who is genuinely worthy of adoration, do you get to keep that moonstruck/infatuated feeling forever?
[/quote]
I think there is an implicit assumption in your question that men and women experience infatuation the same way.
If I am infatuated with someone, I want to fuck them.
If I’m crushing on someone, then I want to fuck her plus she has an engaging personality.
If I’m in love with someone, then I want to stick around after sex and she has an engaging personality.
Infatuation and sexual desire are so interwoven, they can’t be separated.
I was with my ex for 15 years and would have said that I was infatuated with her until the very end - at which point I no longer wanted to fuck her.
I’ve been with my GF for 5 years, and my infatuation with her is as strong as the day we met, and I still can’t keep my hands off of her.
Or, would you rather hear, “…but after 15 years together the infatuation dies away, but the love continues…”?
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t ever have sex with anyone I won’t want to spend time with afterward, so I don’t have to worry about that part. I’m more asking about the long term of these feelings. If you’ve made a good match, does the adoration just go on and on?
Tim and I were together off and on for a little over two years, and I feel like I actively adored him right up until I realized that he wasn’t just complicated, he was broken beyond repair. And even then it took me a while to process that I was heartsick over someone I’d largely created in my imagination.
So if you find someone who is genuinely worthy of adoration, do you get to keep that moonstruck/infatuated feeling forever?
[/quote]
I think there is an implicit assumption in your question that men and women experience infatuation the same way.
If I am infatuated with someone, I want to fuck them.
If I’m crushing on someone, then I want to fuck her plus she has an engaging personality.
If I’m in love with someone, then I want to stick around after sex and she has an engaging personality.
Infatuation and sexual desire are so interwoven, they can’t be separated.
I was with my ex for 15 years and would have said that I was infatuated with her until the very end - at which point I no longer wanted to fuck her.
I’ve been with my GF for 5 years, and my infatuation with her is as strong as the day we met, and I still can’t keep my hands off of her.
Or, would you rather hear, “…but after 15 years together the infatuation dies away, but the love continues…”?
[/quote]
No, I like this feeling. Excitement and warmth and breathlessness win out pretty handily over passionless familiarity.
It would be nice to think this is sustainable.
I’m having feelings about a friend who seems to spend an awful lot of time posting exotic beach pictures on Facebook. He’s married with three kids and lives in Dallas-Ft. Worth. They’re the burniest family I’ve ever met, very pale all, and the wife is a sun-avoiding redhead. It makes me sad to think he’s living his life wishing he was someplace else.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m having feelings about a friend who seems to spend an awful lot of time posting exotic beach pictures on Facebook. He’s married with three kids and lives in Dallas-Ft. Worth. They’re the burniest family I’ve ever met, very pale all, and the wife is a sun-avoiding redhead. It makes me sad to think he’s living his life wishing he was someplace else.
[/quote]
LOL