[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Can I just say that I love my job and I love my boyfriend and I love my family and I love my home?
I’m having mushy feelings.[/quote]
Gross. I just felt my test levels drop.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Can I just say that I love my job and I love my boyfriend and I love my family and I love my home?
I’m having mushy feelings.[/quote]
Gross. I just felt my test levels drop.[/quote]
How about if I say that I haven’t seen my boyfriend since last week and when I see him at 5:30 tonight I’m going throw myself at him and possibly knock him RIGHT TO THE GROUND!
And kiss him and stuff.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Can I just say that I love my job and I love my boyfriend and I love my family and I love my home?
I’m having mushy feelings.[/quote]
Gross. I just felt my test levels drop.[/quote]
How about if I say that I haven’t seen my boyfriend since last week and when I see him at 5:30 tonight I’m going throw myself at him and possibly knock him RIGHT TO THE GROUND!
And kiss him and stuff.
[/quote]
Rub it in, why don’t you. (No pun intended, but I made myself laugh.)
I haven’t seen my girlfriend since last month, and won’t again until July.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.[/quote]
Eventually I’m probably going to be stuck finding a beta orbiter to marry.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.[/quote]
Don’t worry. She can have lip rejuvenation to tighten them up. Not a single guy will know that it is not her original cherry…colored lips.
When I was a kid, we all thought that the female equivalent of a hard-on was a “wide-on”.
Made sense at the time.
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.[/quote]
Don’t worry. She can have lip rejuvenation to tighten them up. Not a single guy will know that it is not her original cherry…colored lips.[/quote]
Once I divorce my beta orbiter and take half his shit I’ll use it to pay for the procedure. Then, back onto the kissing carousel I go!
[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:
When I was a kid, we all thought that the female equivalent of a hard-on was a “wide-on”.
Made sense at the time.[/quote]
~blink~
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.[/quote]
Don’t worry. She can have lip rejuvenation to tighten them up. Not a single guy will know that it is not her original cherry…colored lips.[/quote]
Once I divorce my beta orbiter and take half his shit I’ll use it to pay for the procedure. Then, back onto the kissing carousel I go![/quote]
Wrong, wrong, wrong. You make HIM pay for it BEFORE you divorce. Trust me, I am studying to become an accountant. This is fiscally sound advice.
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
And kiss him…
[/quote]
Ugh, do you know what that kind of wear and tear will do to you lips? Pretty soon they’ll be all droopy and no one will want to kiss you. You’ll have guys wondering if you dated a guy with a big tongue.[/quote]
Don’t worry. She can have lip rejuvenation to tighten them up. Not a single guy will know that it is not her original cherry…colored lips.[/quote]
Once I divorce my beta orbiter and take half his shit I’ll use it to pay for the procedure. Then, back onto the kissing carousel I go![/quote]
Wrong, wrong, wrong. You make HIM pay for it BEFORE you divorce. Trust me, I am studying to become an accountant. This is fiscally sound advice.[/quote]
All right. I’ll do that and then use half his shit to buy clothes.
By the way, on a more serious but sort of bizarre note, Hockey and I have already talked very minimally about finances and the word “prenup” came up. Not that we’re anywhere near that point yet, but we’re on the same page I think.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:
When I was a kid, we all thought that the female equivalent of a hard-on was a “wide-on”.
Made sense at the time.[/quote]
~blink~[/quote]
lol that popped into my head when people were talking about looseness and whatnot.
OK, here’s my “size rant”.
I don’t know why guys are worrying about, “am I the biggest, do I satisfy her, etc…”. Fucking BABIES come out of that thing… Let me say it again: BABIES. I don’t know about you guys, but a 8lb. baby is bigger than MY cock. And I’ve fucked plenty of chicks who have had kids and they appeared to enjoy what I was doing. In fact, I go as far as to assume that EVERY chick I sleep with has been with a guy who has a bigger dick than me. I assume it. And by assuming it, it takes ALL the needy insecurity away.
I will never ask her, “b b but am I the b b biggest you’ve had?” I assume I am not. Who CARES? Even hinting around at that question or line of questioning just begs of insecurity and lack of confidence, which is a HUGE turn off for chicks. Why even go there? It boggles my little brain that men would shoot them selves in the foot that way. DON’T ASK. Do you hear women ask you if they are the biggest pair of tits you’ve ever seen? Did your last GF have better areoli than me? It’s fucking ridiculous.
Is there a certain small percentage of women who are size queens? Of course. When a girl is in her teens or twenties is she curious about what a “big one” feels like? Of course. And why shouldn’t she? Every human has the right to explore their sexuality. That doesn’t make her a slut. Nor should a man feel bad if he’s not hung like Mandingo. Sex is a theater of the MIND, people. The MIND! If you can turn her on and make her wet with your words and your caress, and generate EMOTIONS and PASSION in her, then you can satisfy her with your little finger…
Now of course there are medical conditions such as micropenis where size is a legitimate obstacle to satisfying a woman, but unless you have literally a one inch dick, I wouldn’t worry about it. The reality is, just as there are guys with big dicks, there are women with big pussies. And vice verse. Will you be able to satisfy EVERYONE? The answer is YES. There are are entire industries built around the vagina. If she is capable of having an orgasm, you are capable of giving her one.
If you meet a girl and you don’t like the size of her vagina, there are about FOUR BILLION more women on the planet, and I’m sure one of them has a vagina that you’ll like. I personally don’t like a small cooch - it’s frustrating when you try to go balls deep and instead of them gasping in pleasure, they’re crying in pain. That’s a mood killer. Or when you tear it up and then they don’t want to have sex for a week. Fuck that! I’ll take a girl with a pussy I can pound over a tight delicate low mileage pussy any day of the week. And twice on Sunday (you won’t get it twice on Sunday with a tiny pussy!). Even when you date them for a while, it STILL takes too long to recover for my liking. And god forbid if you rip them a little and they bleed! They freak the fuck out over that shit.
On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve been with chicks that I could stick both hands up there. Seriously, not exaggerating. I fucked them just fine. Several of them had such good muscle control that you couldn’t even tell the difference in the elasticity. And girls who’ve had big cock WILL shit test you about it. They’ll tell you about how big their last boyfriend was, etc… They’re testing your level of confidence. If you react like a little bitch and get all butt hurt about it, they’ll lose respect for you.
But if you come back with, “well my last girlfriend had better tits than you, so what about it? You wanna start measuring our bank accounts next? Next subject.” Smack them down a little and don’t reward the behavior, but do it in a NON NEEDY way. You don’t NEED her approval. She is fucking you (or is about to), so who cares? If she wasn’t attracted to you, she wouldn’t be getting nekkid with you.
Basically, the point of all this ranting is, stop being a bitch about worrying how big your dick is. Is it within your area of CONTROL? NOPE! So if you cannot control it, why on earth would you WORRY about it? That, gentlemen, is a complete waste of time and energy. Worry about the things you CAN control, such as “did I set my alarm to get up in the morning after I fuck this chick?” Or, “Did I just make her cum three times? or four?” I personally shoot for at least five orgasms per “session”. With some chicks, that number is closer to 50, but if you make a woman cum five times in an hour I PROMISE you, she’ll invite you back into her bed.
/rant
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
If you meet a girl and you don’t like the size of her vagina, there are about FOUR BILLION more women on the planet, and I’m sure one of them has a vagina that you’ll like. I personally don’t like a small cooch - it’s frustrating when you try to go balls deep and instead of them gasping in pleasure, they’re crying in pain. That’s a mood killer. Or when you tear it up and then they don’t want to have sex for a week. Fuck that! I’ll take a girl with a pussy I can pound over a tight delicate low mileage pussy any day of the week. And twice on Sunday (you won’t get it twice on Sunday with a tiny pussy!). Even when you date them for a while, it STILL takes too long to recover for my liking. And god forbid if you rip them a little and they bleed! They freak the fuck out over that shit.
[/quote]
Holy shit, dude. This had me cracking up. Those last two lines are fucking gold. LOVE IT!!
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]LoRez wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Wear and tear, seriously?[/quote]
He sounds like a good candidate to join our friends in Japan.[/quote]
Say what?[/quote]
He said, “HE SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO JOIN OUR FRIENDS IN JAPAN.”
lol
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Can I just say that I love my job and I love my boyfriend and I love my family and I love my home?
I’m having mushy feelings.[/quote]
Gross. I just felt my test levels drop.[/quote]
How about if I say that I haven’t seen my boyfriend since last week and when I see him at 5:30 tonight I’m going throw myself at him and possibly knock him RIGHT TO THE GROUND!
And kiss him and stuff.
[/quote]
If you knock him down, he’s not the man you say he is.
Either that, or you’re a lot heftier than I thought.
:-)[/quote]
We’ll see! Whether he falls or not, there will be kissing tonight!
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]LoRez wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Wear and tear, seriously?[/quote]
He sounds like a good candidate to join our friends in Japan.[/quote]
Say what?[/quote]
He said, “HE SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO JOIN OUR FRIENDS IN JAPAN, ANAT.”
lol[/quote]
FTFY.