Okay, pulling out everything but your last response to unbotch the quotes…
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
I don’t rack those numbers anymore. I am mainly focused on my career at this point. I’m in a relationship at the moment. But when I’m not, it’s not like I need a calendar or spreadsheet to keep track of da bitches (like I used to). Also, I don’t discuss my sexual history or allude to it.
My “moral code” is not that of a “player”. I don’t lie and I don’t lead anyone on. I set a high standard for who I choose to spend my time with. As I get older, I realize that my most valuable commodity is TIME, so I don’t like to waste it. And as I alluded to above, I’m really not very promiscuous anymore, preferring quality over quantity these days. I don’t view relationships as a game. I DO have an impressive set of social tools at my disposal, and I “see the matrix” of attraction/courtship better than most, but that’s not something I can control… I mean if there are three good looking women in the room and two of them are giving me good body language and the third one isn’t, OF COURSE I’m going to approach the third one! LOL I mean, I KNOW that it will just increase the attraction in the other two and that’s just plain good strategy. Plus I have a pretty good chance of attracting the third one and it’s more of a challenge. But that’s dealing with strangers with no emotional investment… For all I know they could all be crazy. Until I’ve screened them, why shouldn’t I increase my chances of tipping the interaction in my favor?
As for my criminal history, it really doesn’t impact me much anymore. It’s been 20 years and I’m very successful now. In fact, it’s kind of like a good “war story” these days.
Also, I differ from Orion in my standard of what constitutes “the carousel”. I’m not particularly fixated on any specific “number”. I can pretty much tell if a girl has had a metric shit ton of dicks up in her which is not what I’m looking for, but neither do I disqualify her if she’s had more than two boyfriends. Know what I mean? I think if I judge her character and actions to be in alignment with what I want, then I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise I WOULD be a hypocrite.
You speak of happiness and pleasure and I find both of those things to be temporary. The “state” that I seek is “durable fulfillment”. I know that if I follow MY path and meet the goals in Life that I’ve set for myself, I’ll continue to maintain that state. Happiness and pleasure are simply byproducts of a well-lived life. And I’m living pretty well these days.
[/quote]I recognize and have acknowledged, in the above posts and at other times, that you’re not playing the way orion is any longer, if ever. It’s difficult to respond without lumping you together with orion and the embittered PUA set in general because your first post above has you identifying with the mindset and saying “orion and I.” I see big differences.
I think your “durable fulfillment” is what I’m calling happiness. Pleasure is fleeting and can be from something major (the birth of a child) or from an icy cold beer. It’s a good thing, but it’s not “a life well lived.” Happiness to me is a combination of satisfaction, security, self-regard, and pleasure. I might do better to say contentment, since happiness suggests gaiety and life doesn’t allow for that in any consistent way.[quote]
Everyone is at where they’re at. I don’t know Orion well enough to make any kind of judgements about the way he approaches his relationships or to comment on if his approach is “right”. He’s a grown man and it works for him. He does sometimes communicate some anger and bitterness, but I’ve also done the same. I DO know that he has a VERY good understanding of the true nature of MOST women and MOST relationships. And I share in his assessment/apathy of the current state of affairs in the “battle of the sexes” (if I can generically use that term).
You identify with their victim mentality, even though you’ve worked past yours. How is it MY fault that women are attracted to tall, dark, handsome, well-built, successful, intelligent, witty, well-hung men with a sense of adventure and broad range of experience who has the ability to trigger positive emotions in them AND who doesn’t lie? If I were a chick I’D fuck me! Also, I believe I’ve EARNED (well, earned everything but the well-hung - that’s just lucky) every single attribute I listed with hard work, blood sweat and some tears, so cry me a river about them being “hurt” because they made bad decisions or assumptions and fell in love with someone who told them from the beginning he was unavailable for a long term commitment.
[/quote]I haven’t worked past a victim mentality - I don’t think I’ve ever had one. Victim of what? Men? I have no beef with them. I’ve read both feminist and anti-feminist writings as well as evolutionary biology and psychology and current mainstream conservative stuff and I enjoy thinking about it. When I think about victim vs not victim I tend to feel lucky that I have the attributes I have and would probably thrive no matter the social system. I don’t think about oppression, since I am the beneficiary of both the feminist system and the patriarchal one.
Thinking about women crying a river because they fell in love with men who said right up front, etc. . . I don’t think all men using PUA technique are this honest, do you? (And I WAS careful to note that I was using “you” in the general sense. I respect your sense of honesty and always have.)
BUT I also think - well, we KNOW - that PUA technique is designed to push buttons that suggest both safety and excitement to women lacking discernment. And I suppose by “discernment” I probably mean caution, since I think I would be vulnerable to PUA stuff despite my strong social skills and awareness of attraction, etc, on an intellectual level. It’s only fear and needing time to go home and overthink things that’s kept me out of the clutches of player types. So while there may be honesty, there is also a subtle suggestion that prince charming has arrived.
What would you think of me if I used my body, intellect, and superior social skills to game men I don’t care about into doing things for me? And then said “cry me a river” if they thought there would be something more? They’ve offered. (It’s weird.) I’ve said no because a guy helping me with my car or house suggests a debt to me. On the other hand, I’m happy to have help from a boyfriend because I’m happy to pay my debts within that context.[quote]
If you ever make it to DC, we’ll put your wing man skillz to the test! LOL[/quote]
Ha, I’m better behind the scenes! Although when I gave pickup line advice to a patient Tuesday we both wound up doubled over with laughter.
I do pass on some of the PUA stuff. It has value. But not as the guiding philosophy of a 40-year-old man who wants a decent women to bear him his children.
