Let's Process Our Feelings II

Off Topic
281

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Thank you all for your good wishes. :slight_smile:

He’s off playing pick-up hockey this morning and I am (ostensibly) running and cleaning. Then we’re going to do public skate, because this is the last day of ice. It’s a good thing - I have a cracked tailbone and yesterday I fell on my arm and it keeps dislocating or something. So several months to recover may not be a bad thing. But I am getting better at crossovers and turning around to skate backwards, so there’s that. However, if my physical condition deteriorates much further sex is going to be very challenging. I’m hoping to make it through today injury-free. I’ve got one good arm and one good leg left. I’d like to keep them.

In bigger feelings, he added me onto his phone plan yesterday. I needed to switch carriers because I’ve been tearing through my data allotment at work and am consistently charged overage fees. We both got new phones and my carrier switch and now we’re on a plan together. It feels like a big commitment, even though I can just split off if something goes wrong. Still. It’s a family plan.

[/quote]

As a teaching moment, look ye here, even the tiniest sliver of commitment means a lot to wimminz…

So, dont give it away lightly…[/quote]

It’s an intertwining of finances. It scares me. WHAT IF IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE AND WE INTERTWINE MORE?

Do you think Hockey gave it away too lightly?
[/quote]

No.

You are into him enough that he can afford it.

What I find much more interesting though is that you are scared of what you really, really want.

282

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

How do I prove MY worth, though? Sex is a shared thing, so it’s not that.

[/quote]

The classic is sexual access against committed relationship.

So, yes, it is.

And, even the nicest of nice guys is much more perverted than you could possibly imagine so, well, its kind of hard to overdo it.

The only thing he wants is that you are not A raging slut but HIS raging slut.

Plus, loyalty and emotional support are kind of nice.

How do I phrase this gently…

Without sex and emotional support what does he need you for?

Simply give him lots of it and all will be fine.[/quote]

Without sex and emotional support what do I need HIM for? So lots of both things is best for both of us. Healthy and happy and good.

Also, if the time comes, combining incomes leaves us both much stronger than either of us is separately.

I suppose all of those components together form the basis for a very nice life indeed.

283

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Thank you all for your good wishes. :slight_smile:

He’s off playing pick-up hockey this morning and I am (ostensibly) running and cleaning. Then we’re going to do public skate, because this is the last day of ice. It’s a good thing - I have a cracked tailbone and yesterday I fell on my arm and it keeps dislocating or something. So several months to recover may not be a bad thing. But I am getting better at crossovers and turning around to skate backwards, so there’s that. However, if my physical condition deteriorates much further sex is going to be very challenging. I’m hoping to make it through today injury-free. I’ve got one good arm and one good leg left. I’d like to keep them.

In bigger feelings, he added me onto his phone plan yesterday. I needed to switch carriers because I’ve been tearing through my data allotment at work and am consistently charged overage fees. We both got new phones and my carrier switch and now we’re on a plan together. It feels like a big commitment, even though I can just split off if something goes wrong. Still. It’s a family plan.

[/quote]

As a teaching moment, look ye here, even the tiniest sliver of commitment means a lot to wimminz…

So, dont give it away lightly…[/quote]

It’s an intertwining of finances. It scares me. WHAT IF IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE AND WE INTERTWINE MORE?

Do you think Hockey gave it away too lightly?
[/quote]

No.

You are into him enough that he can afford it.

What I find much more interesting though is that you are scared of what you really, really want. [/quote]

So are you!

284

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

How do I prove MY worth, though? Sex is a shared thing, so it’s not that.

[/quote]

The classic is sexual access against committed relationship.

So, yes, it is.

And, even the nicest of nice guys is much more perverted than you could possibly imagine so, well, its kind of hard to overdo it.

The only thing he wants is that you are not A raging slut but HIS raging slut.

Plus, loyalty and emotional support are kind of nice.

How do I phrase this gently…

Without sex and emotional support what does he need you for?

Simply give him lots of it and all will be fine.[/quote]

Without sex and emotional support what do I need HIM for? So lots of both things is best for both of us. Healthy and happy and good.

Also, if the time comes, combining incomes leaves us both much stronger than either of us is separately.

I suppose all of those components together form the basis for a very nice life indeed.[/quote]

Mebbe, but you are a woman.

Meaning, the temptation to use sex as a bargaining chip and to abandon ship when you he hits the ground hard and shows signs of weakness and desperation is always there.

Some variables in that equation are harder for you to pull off than for a man and dont kid yourself that it is not so.

285

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Thank you all for your good wishes. :slight_smile:

He’s off playing pick-up hockey this morning and I am (ostensibly) running and cleaning. Then we’re going to do public skate, because this is the last day of ice. It’s a good thing - I have a cracked tailbone and yesterday I fell on my arm and it keeps dislocating or something. So several months to recover may not be a bad thing. But I am getting better at crossovers and turning around to skate backwards, so there’s that. However, if my physical condition deteriorates much further sex is going to be very challenging. I’m hoping to make it through today injury-free. I’ve got one good arm and one good leg left. I’d like to keep them.

In bigger feelings, he added me onto his phone plan yesterday. I needed to switch carriers because I’ve been tearing through my data allotment at work and am consistently charged overage fees. We both got new phones and my carrier switch and now we’re on a plan together. It feels like a big commitment, even though I can just split off if something goes wrong. Still. It’s a family plan.

[/quote]

As a teaching moment, look ye here, even the tiniest sliver of commitment means a lot to wimminz…

So, dont give it away lightly…[/quote]

It’s an intertwining of finances. It scares me. WHAT IF IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE AND WE INTERTWINE MORE?

Do you think Hockey gave it away too lightly?
[/quote]

No.

You are into him enough that he can afford it.

What I find much more interesting though is that you are scared of what you really, really want. [/quote]

So are you![/quote]

True, but how does that help you?

286

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

How do I prove MY worth, though? Sex is a shared thing, so it’s not that.

[/quote]

The realization that your value is intrinsic, not extrinsic. Self acceptance at a deeper level.

It’s not arrogance, more like the quiet confidence of knowing that you don’t have to prove anything and you are a self standing entity who chooses to be with someone who chooses to be with you.

287

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
How do I prove MY worth, though?
[/quote]
You don’t have to. You have a uterus; your value is intrinsic. On the contrary we bring absolutely nothing to anyone beyond our deeds. The measure of a man’s worth is determined only by the importance of his actions.

289

So, I’ve fractured my elbow, which two things: one is that the sling adds a whole 'nother layer of problematic to the naked cooking idea, and the other thing is that I’ve been backing off on the paying and refusing help thing. I let him zip my jacket over the sling, which initially I was going to refuse (“I don’t need it zipped! It’s fine! I’m not helpless!”) because of posts here, and didn’t quarrel about the check at dinner, which in my opinion I should have because he sat with me for 4 hours at the ER (although it passed quickly and we had fun), so the onus should have been on me.

290

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, I’ve fractured my elbow, which two things: one is that the sling adds a whole 'nother layer of problematic to the naked cooking idea, and the other thing is that I’ve been backing off on the paying and refusing help thing. I let him zip my jacket over the sling, which initially I was going to refuse (“I don’t need it zipped! It’s fine! I’m not helpless!”) because of posts here, and didn’t quarrel about the check at dinner, which in my opinion I should have because he sat with me for 4 hours at the ER (although it passed quickly and we had fun), so the onus should have been on me.

[/quote]

This Ice Skating thing that you are doing- Is it down hill or something? I’ve been on ice ever since I can remember and it never hurt that much.

All kidding aside, those fractures sound painful. It’s nice that he sat with you in the ER too, and you were even able to have fun. Not that most good men wouldn’t have the patience, but it would be kind of rotten if he hadn’t.

292

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, I’ve fractured my elbow, which two things: one is that the sling adds a whole 'nother layer of problematic to the naked cooking idea, and the other thing is that I’ve been backing off on the paying and refusing help thing. I let him zip my jacket over the sling, which initially I was going to refuse (“I don’t need it zipped! It’s fine! I’m not helpless!”) because of posts here, and didn’t quarrel about the check at dinner, which in my opinion I should have because he sat with me for 4 hours at the ER (although it passed quickly and we had fun), so the onus should have been on me.

[/quote]

This Ice Skating thing that you are doing- Is it down hill or something? I’ve been on ice ever since I can remember and it never hurt that much.

All kidding aside, those fractures sound painful. It’s nice that he sat with you in the ER too, and you were even able to have fun. Not that most good men wouldn’t have the patience, but it would be kind of rotten if he hadn’t.
[/quote]

It’s really not painful now that it’s in a sling and not popping out of place. THAT part sucked.

The skating, no, not downhill. Flat surface. I just find jumping the hurdles really challenging.

Seriously, though, I’m a competent skater in some ways and it makes me do stupid stuff. I did a lot of inline skating when I lived in Texas, where parks tend to have long pathways. So I’m comfortable with speed, avoiding obstacles, and stopping in hockey skates. What I can’t do are ice rink things like quick turns to backward skating and crossovers. I want to do those things and I’m very suggestible, so when my coach says “It’s a lot easier if you go faster” I get all excited and do it faster and then next thing you know, ER. :confused:

I can’t even imagine Hockey not going to the emergency room with me. In fact, I think if he’d been able to, schedule-wise, he’d have followed me to work this morning to open my car door and carry my stuff in. He’s a really good guy. I like him so damn much. :slight_smile:

293

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, I’ve fractured my elbow, which two things: one is that the sling adds a whole 'nother layer of problematic to the naked cooking idea, and the other thing is that I’ve been backing off on the paying and refusing help thing. I let him zip my jacket over the sling, which initially I was going to refuse (“I don’t need it zipped! It’s fine! I’m not helpless!”) because of posts here, and didn’t quarrel about the check at dinner, which in my opinion I should have because he sat with me for 4 hours at the ER (although it passed quickly and we had fun), so the onus should have been on me.

[/quote]
Geez, I take a quick break, and you do the same to your arm?!

I see a new Woody Allen movie on the horizon… :slight_smile:

Seriously though, hope it heals soon.
[/quote]

None of this would have happened if you’d stayed home to offer sound advice! But no, you had to go gadding about for no good reason (other than the reasons you had).

294

You should take some jiu jitsu classes.

srs

The first thing they teach you is how to minimize the damage when you fall.

295

Jui Jitsu on ice! Way better than the ice capades!

300

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, I’ve fractured my elbow, which two things: one is that the sling adds a whole 'nother layer of problematic to the naked cooking idea, and the other thing is that I’ve been backing off on the paying and refusing help thing. I let him zip my jacket over the sling, which initially I was going to refuse (“I don’t need it zipped! It’s fine! I’m not helpless!”) because of posts here, and didn’t quarrel about the check at dinner, which in my opinion I should have because he sat with me for 4 hours at the ER (although it passed quickly and we had fun), so the onus should have been on me.

[/quote]

This Ice Skating thing that you are doing- Is it down hill or something? I’ve been on ice ever since I can remember and it never hurt that much.

All kidding aside, those fractures sound painful. It’s nice that he sat with you in the ER too, and you were even able to have fun. Not that most good men wouldn’t have the patience, but it would be kind of rotten if he hadn’t.
[/quote]

It’s really not painful now that it’s in a sling and not popping out of place. THAT part sucked.

The skating, no, not downhill. Flat surface. I just find jumping the hurdles really challenging.

Seriously, though, I’m a competent skater in some ways and it makes me do stupid stuff. I did a lot of inline skating when I lived in Texas, where parks tend to have long pathways. So I’m comfortable with speed, avoiding obstacles, and stopping in hockey skates. What I can’t do are ice rink things like quick turns to backward skating and crossovers. I want to do those things and I’m very suggestible, so when my coach says “It’s a lot easier if you go faster” I get all excited and do it faster and then next thing you know, ER. :confused:

I can’t even imagine Hockey not going to the emergency room with me. In fact, I think if he’d been able to, schedule-wise, he’d have followed me to work this morning to open my car door and carry my stuff in. He’s a really good guy. I like him so damn much. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

Don’t hold me to this (yet), but I think you found the right guy.[/quote]

Guess who drove me to work this morning so I wouldn’t have to clear my car or manage my manual transmission in the snow with the hurt arm?

Don’t hold me to it, either, but I think so, too.