[quote]theBird wrote:
OP: You have tried to help him, and that is all you can do. Let it go. If he does not want to help himself, then all the help in the world is not going to make a difference.
You can still drink beer and play Mortal Kombat with him, but just limit your time with him, and don’t pick up any of his undesirable habits.
Uncle Bird.
tweet[/quote]
This ^
He could be “comfortable” with his current lifestyle. It also sounds like his parents are enabling him. In general, it seems that a lot of people don’t embrace change, especially if it involves hard work. It sounds like he is contemplating his options but is having a hard time with his follow through for whatever reason (i.e. fear, lack of motivation, etc).
I think you are doing all that you can do in terms of encouraging him to actively pursue his goals. As the old expression goes, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”.
I can totally understand your frustration with the situation but if you enjoy spending time with him, then why not continue to be friends?
I’m glad I’m not the only one who knows someone like this csulli. I mean, I can understand somebody not giving a shit about societal norms and just doing whatever makes them happy but they can’t seriously think this lifestyle will last forever, can they?
The whole idea of behavior rubbing off on people is something I have tried to utilize in hopes of good behavior rubbing off on him. He keeps telling me the ACE certification takes so much time to study and he absolutely must not take it until he is completely ready, problem is he never studies.
I actually got the NASM certification recently since I now work at a gym that requires it and it took me just 3 months to get it. I kept on trying to tell him
“hey man, lets study together and review notes” and telling him after he was certified I would lend him other materials in case he wanted to get multiple certifications. Every time he blew me off.
Thing is, I think he really does want to become a personal trainer and I’m glad I inspired him but he doesn’t seem to want to work for it.
I think I will take theBird’s advice and continue hanging out with him for leisure but I wish there were some implicit suggestion I could make that could get this guy to finally fucking do something with his life.
Also, it seems like he is constantly trying to get me interested in the things he’s interested in. He’s a big fan of JRPGs with big bright anime graphics but I prefer the more realistic Western style RPGs like Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Dark Souls. When I asked him why he doesn’t like them he told me he thinks they’re too realistic.
It makes me think maybe what my friend hates is reality. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with real life so he constantly seeks seclusion from it. Its sad because he can still have a real life, work out, get a skill for a decent job while still making enough money and having enough time to pursue his nerd hobbies, I know I do.
The day you’re hanging out with your boy and he breaks out a couple of My Little Pony dolls and starts neighing and brushing their hair and shit, how the fuck do you continue being friends with that person?
I get REALLY uncomfortable when I see him watching his show. When I first heard of it I thought maybe it was a parody type show that could be enjoyed by adults and kids kind of like Spongebob Squarepants but after him showing me an episode it is clear that the target audience of the show is clearly little girls.
I think what happened is that some adults were trying to be ironic by pretending to like it and then every hipster decided it would be cool and counter-culture to like My Little Ponies and completely missed the point.
He doesn’t play with is dolls or watch the MLP stuff in front of me because he knows it bothers me. He’s tried to convert me to the “brony” movement a few times but really I just see it as a bunch of attention whoring hipster fags.
I think all guys have a softer side to them they’re sometimes afraid to admit to like admitting to crying during a really good movie or video game but I just cannot fathom how an adult male can legitimately be so fascinated by My Little Pony. It is flat out disturbing.
There was a “Brony” convention in Baltimore recently. A local radio station interviewed a bunch of people there, and every single one of them sounded like a child molesting shut-in. Every single one of them. Reminded me of Nick Swanson in Reno 911, except way creepy.
[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:
Serous question to OP and CSulli:
The day you’re hanging out with your boy and he breaks out a couple of My Little Pony dolls and starts neighing and brushing their hair and shit, how the fuck do you continue being friends with that person?[/quote]
Oh, audiogarden, everyone knows that bronies don’t like to play with the brushable ponies… the brushables are not FiM show accurate for goodness sakes.
Ok, I understand the geek mode Anime groups. But this pre-teen art/comic sexploitation is beyond creepy man. I mean if the joy of killing small animals just to watch them die is a sign of a up and coming Dexter, then enjoying pre-teen girls in sexy poses must be a sign of some kind. Anime cartoons or whatever it is still creepy.
Hey you may want to talk to him about his hobby to check how far does it really go.
[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:
Serous question to OP and CSulli:
The day you’re hanging out with your boy and he breaks out a couple of My Little Pony dolls and starts neighing and brushing their hair and shit, how the fuck do you continue being friends with that person?[/quote]
Never encountered that hahaha. We kinda drifted apart after high school like I said, and he got into that stuff after we stopped hanging out. I still talk to him on facebook or steam sometimes, and I’ve been over once or twice to play a board game with him and a couple folks, but I haven’t hung out with him hardly at all since he went brony.
[quote]Madtytecurls wrote:
he also is part of the “brony” sub-culture which literally is adult men who are into the little girls show “My Little Ponies.”
[/quote]
I think a lot of guys have given you some good advice.
My question, is what the hell is with “brony”? Border line disturbing…
Edit: Sorry - didn’t see others have asked about this topic. However, we MUST have an answer…
[quote]Madtytecurls wrote:
Also, it seems like he is constantly trying to get me interested in the things he’s interested in. He’s a big fan of JRPGs with big bright anime graphics but I prefer the more realistic Western style RPGs like Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Dark Souls. When I asked him why he doesn’t like them he told me he thinks they’re too realistic.
It makes me think maybe what my friend hates is reality. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with real life so he constantly seeks seclusion from it. Its sad because he can still have a real life, work out, get a skill for a decent job while still making enough money and having enough time to pursue his nerd hobbies, I know I do.[/quote]
Obviously most people disagree with me here but I still simply don’t understand why how your friend decided to make a living (living with his parents and barely working) is important to you. He is not out being a gangbanger or a hard core drug addict that is out sucking cocks for coke, those things might require an intervention but living at home and playing video games all day? I am pretty sure most people have done something akin to that when not having a job for an extended period of time.
Also as long as his parents keep letting him have this lifestyle, you pressuring him is unlikely to make a change. You might want to have a talk with them instead of him. Sound like you guys just grew apart in interests and lifestyle choices and you aren’t able to look past it (nothing wrong with that, I’ve done it myself plenty) and like I said before trying to change people seldom works out.
I think I speak for 99.9% of dad’s out there… Please don’t let my sons end up like this…[/quote]
I can think of much worse things for a son to be doing than this. While certainly not something a Dad would be thrilled with, I can hardly say that this is up there on my list of things I truly hope my son doesn’t end up doing.
I think I speak for 99.9% of dad’s out there… Please don’t let my sons end up like this…[/quote]
While I do indeed think this is a bit strange, one of your largest fears for your son is that he ends up watching a cartoon show…[/quote]
The fact that there is a ‘brony’ sub-culture of adult men watching a cartoon intended for little girls, is a bit more than ‘watching a cartoon’ IMO. But I understand what you mean - there are obviously worse things that could happen.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
I can think of much worse things for a son to be doing than this. While certainly not something a Dad would be thrilled with, I can hardly say that this is up there on my list of things I truly hope my son doesn’t end up doing. [/quote]
You’re obviously not getting it.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
I can think of much worse things for a son to be doing than this. While certainly not something a Dad would be thrilled with, I can hardly say that this is up there on my list of things I truly hope my son doesn’t end up doing. [/quote]
You’re obviously not getting it.[/quote]
So is it just the “brony” thing that is the problem? Because it seems like that is just one part of the OP’s issue with his friend, a big one but still. More that he has no drive or motivation to do anything. Or that his drive and motivation is to things that the OP considers hobbies or pastimes. It was mentioned that his parents are wealthy, but how wealthy? If this is just some rich kid who has chosen to idle his life away due to no money issues, it’s a different story somewhat. Somewhat.
Not to say that the “brony” thing isn’t on the way far side of weird, but would this still be the issue if he was hyper-interested in a sports team? We all know that guy, watches every game, has multiples jerseys, constantly listens to sports talk radio, has to watch the draft, talks about every teen player who is up and coming, etc.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
I can think of much worse things for a son to be doing than this. While certainly not something a Dad would be thrilled with, I can hardly say that this is up there on my list of things I truly hope my son doesn’t end up doing. [/quote]
You’re obviously not getting it.[/quote]
I am not getting that this just isn’t that high up on my list of things I hope my son doesn’t do? You can say you have a different view about it but it’s pretty presumptuous to think that I don’t get my own opinion/list.