Ran on Tuesday and again this morning, then squats.
I decided to test today since I haven’t trained much this week. Worked up to 205x1, and it really wasn’t a great rep.
When I’m going for a PR I play this game, where I hold the weight that I am adding to the bar in my hands, and I really pay attention to it. Because 205 was shitty, I pick up 2 chips and 2 fives. I hold them. This is not enough to break me. It’s what I always say. 220 would be a lifetime PR. I load the bar and look at it. I am annoyed by it, by my mind games, and by my reluctance to do what I really want to do.
I take everything off the bar but the one plate and then I add another. I have wanted to squat 225 for a long time—like this—with 2 wheels. I have never been this close to that goal. So I decide to just go for it and put it on my back for once just to see how it feels, just to see what I will do.
moving that line between the impossible and the possible, that is a very cool trick. And that’s what I did today. Squat goal
Achieved.
I woke up to the sound of rain and the smell of dirt. It’s been too long since I’ve run on the trails. I did that today.
Bench. Worked up to 100x2. This was supposed to be an amrap set, but my upper body is still not working for me. Dropped the weight all the way to 65 and did 20. I could feel my muscles working. I think this is what I need.
Shit with bands,including pull-ups. Who the fuck is this person who can squat but can barely do pull-ups? I’m not really mad. Just marveling at this body —which I barely seem to understand.
I think I’ve got to recreate that mind muscle Connection I seem to have lost with the lat strain. I can think of no other explanation for my precipitous decline.
When I run, I am either indulging my mind—letting thoughts and imagination run or disciplining it and trying to get it to shut the fuck up. I set out today on a run with the intention of achieving the latter.
Didn’t work. Instead I thought about OThello. I watched that play a few years ago. Why is it that we can see (or at least think we can see) the tragic flaws of others but not our own? I thought about what my tragic flaw is. I have some ideas. But while I’m sure about othello’s, I’m not sure about mine.
And I thought about periods of disequilibrium—a phrase I learned from my mother—which she picked up from a parenting book written in the 60s by Dr Spock? That can’t be right. And I thought about changing careers. And I thought about my partner. He is a “You can do that” person. I’m probably not going to do that. But I am lucky to have a you can do that person in my life. Everyone should have one.
I ran like shit. My ankle hurt. And I only made it for 40 Minutes.
I’m thinking of doing a trail run in November. Should be good and muddy by then. Today was not a good start. 30 Minutes on the bike because my heart is > than my feet.
You’re not condescending at all. I appreciate your post. That was a big deal squat for me.
225 has loomed large for me—this last decade or so—my entire lifting career. I figured I had missed my window to get it since aging generally isn’t an asset.
I like that my body is surprising me. I’m having a lot of fun.
I’m terms of the squat, it’s be great to own 225. Hit it a few more times. Improve the quality of the rep and maybe squat it for reps.
I have plenty of other unmet lifetime training goals. 315 Deadlift; 50 mile trail run, press handstand…. there are more! These are all pretty out of reach for me right now, but I think achievable with time.
8 miles today—the gateway distance (in my mind) to distance running.
I was happy to be able to cover that distance without too much trouble, but It’s clear I haven’t kept up my running capacity very well this summer. I was suffering a bit through the last two. Ugh. So much for the goal of building mileage—slowly and consistently this year. Year in and out, I’ve never been successful here.
Sometimes I think should give up any running related goals, and just enjoy the activity—3-4 miles, 3 to 4 times a week. That’s my baseline. I’m comfortable there and really enjoy that amount of running. Plus my body tolerates that amount fairly well. And that’s important because I’d like to be able to preserve my ability to run for as long as possible.
Still, like a yellow jacket is drawn to barbecue, I want that ultramarathon experience.
Today: bench: work up to amrap @ 95x6. Not good. But I am not focused on this lift so I’m going to just let it be.
Pullups: ladder 1,2,3,4. I pulled the bandaid off here. I’ve been waiting for pull-ups to feel better. Apparently that’s not magically going to happen. And I’m sick of not being able to do these. I’m getting them back now. I think my body is ready.
Yoga: body moved well, including upper back and shoulders. Bridging was tolerable.
Friday: at long last deadlifts. 195x12; heavy singles at 215 and 235. Miss at 255.
This was an ok session even with a miss. I broke the floor with 255 twice; I just lacked the guts to stay with it. I’m getting a little bit in my head with this lift, and I need to stop it and get over it. It is what it is. Tautologies are always true.