[quote]smh23 wrote:
I wouldn’t think so much about it. Live your life, lift and be clean and party and the girls will come. Be cool and a good lay and they will want to stay.
Also, sometimes the dude pays for things. It’s the way things are.[/quote]
This post was very pleasant and relaxing to read.
[/quote]
lol, glad to have been able to bring that to the thread.[/quote]
Stick to to PWI, spoil-sport! :-)[/quote]
Hahaha, it’s very strange to see a thread where no one’s been accused of intellectual dishonesty/Communist sympathies. Not sure how I feel about it.[/quote]
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Also, I’m laughing to imagine myself writhing in an agony of terror over my boyfriend’s son and the possibility that he fucked some hot woman and now that he’s got a kid just wants to play me for my stability.
When I was in my early 20s, guys with kids were no-goes for me. You CAN set limits and make choices. [/quote]
That’s because you’ve never had to put work into getting laid. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Heels, smelling good, managing a wardrobe of fragile things that don’t like to be jammed into washers and need to be hung to dry, shaving 40% of my surface area, nail polish, etc. Which isn’t to say men don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Also, I’m laughing to imagine myself writhing in an agony of terror over my boyfriend’s son and the possibility that he fucked some hot woman and now that he’s got a kid just wants to play me for my stability.
When I was in my early 20s, guys with kids were no-goes for me. You CAN set limits and make choices. [/quote]
That’s because you’ve never had to put work into getting laid. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Heels, smelling good, managing a wardrobe of fragile things that don’t like to be jammed into washers and need to be hung to dry, shaving 40% of my surface area, nail polish, etc. Which isn’t to say men don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Nice car, nice attire, putting up with shit daily to make a decent amount of money, keeping my wits when shit hits the fan, etc. Which isn’t to say women don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think, orion, that you vastly underestimate the degree to which good men and women want the same things. So my today’s equation is this:
Follow heart + mind = win.
Follow dick + mind = win.
Follow ONLY heart or dick into a relationship = fail.
Which is to say I agree with you, but posit for your consideration that the results you’re seeing have in large part to do with a failure to use your critical thinking capacity to evaluate your dick’s choices. You seem to THINK you’re using your mind to evaluate women as a whole when you say “here is the female mating imperative,” but your premises are flawed. You’re only evaluating a certain type of woman, while at the same time continuing in a mindset that ensures that these are the women you get. Although I’m not sure you are using your mind. Your reactions strike me as being very emotional. Fear-based.
Everyone wants security and stability. There is nothing wrong with that and you should consider reducing your fear of it. Women want to safely rear their children, they want someone with the physical strength to protect them, they want to know their partner is devoted. Men want security, too. They want to safely rear their children, they want someone with the dedication to maintain “sexy,” they want to know their partner is devoted. People want to feel valued and loved. Men, too!
You seem to indicate that women want stability only after they are beaten down by age, and/or when they have successfully obtained the “genetic material” of one man and are in the market for another to support it. These are the women whose complex programming has them reacting only based on emotion? Orion, you are involved with idiots. Solid people are not basket cases, regardless of age. Solid = solid, flaky = flaky. Don’t blame flaky on biology.
[/quote]
First of all, I have known some solid women in my life, which were still women, but they at least tried at times to grow beyond that, with varying degress of success.
What I am laying out here is the basic model, not the bells and whistles.
If you want an example of a decent woman trying to grow beyond her basic programming, look at your post. It is basically two ways of public and sexual shaming, I either “fear” women or I only have sex with skanks (if at all! Sorry, it is the last piece of the triad, you failed to put it in, so I did).
Yet, you do it in a rather civil and subtle manner, being a gentlewoman so to speak.
Finally, damn right I fear women. Not per se, there is little to fear, but with the force of a nation state at her back if she decides to play me, I am at bit of a disadvantage in a lot of situations anbd hell yes, I take that into account. [/quote]
Oh boy.
We all, men and women alike, have a responsibility to grow beyond our basic programming. We are programmed to act like animals, but personally I prefer to use toilets and nice smelling soaps.
My post is not meant to shame you, but instead to suggest that you might consider whether this would be a good time for some growth of your own. I don’t think I need to grow currently as concerns relationships, since I am pretty happy in this regard and understand my guy to feel the same way. [/quote]
It does not matter what it was meant to be, it simply was a permutation of a simple female tactic, public shaming.
That basically takes two forms, either you question the masculinity or the sexuality of a male opponent.
The less evolved forms are, you live in your moms basement, no girl would want you anyway, you are man enough, gay, have a small dick, cannot handle a real woman, etc…
It is next to impossible to use on me because I immediately lock on to what it is.
I only said that it was an example of being female, just the more evolved version of being female.
And it was. [/quote]
Orion, I’m puzzled as to why you think I would bother to use my time to shame you? For what purpose?
For the record, I do not question your masculinity or your sexuality, about which I know nothing, and you are not my male opponent. Opponent in what contest? I’m telling of my relatively happy experiences navigating relationships and you’re telling of your seemingly unhappy experiences. This is an exchange of ideas, not a contest.
I DO question your intelligence and your ability to evaluate and adjust your behavior and thinking as appropriate given outcomes or results, because you seem to be holding tightly to negative assumptions despite evidence to the contrary.
If you men are so terrified of the women-loving nation state, for heaven’s sake, don’t get married and be sure to use birth control. Easily managed, that.
[/quote]
That made me laugh.
I never claimed that that you did anything consciously, I simply pointed out a female default tactic.
I also got a kick out of you questioning my intelligence, that happens so extremely rarely that I would put a little golden star into my little diary if I had either.
Thank you.
Anyhow, I used my brain and adjusted my behavior and it worked like a charm. I am not the only one who noticed that it works to have a less than pollyanna picture of women.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Also, I’m laughing to imagine myself writhing in an agony of terror over my boyfriend’s son and the possibility that he fucked some hot woman and now that he’s got a kid just wants to play me for my stability.
When I was in my early 20s, guys with kids were no-goes for me. You CAN set limits and make choices. [/quote]
That’s because you’ve never had to put work into getting laid. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Heels, smelling good, managing a wardrobe of fragile things that don’t like to be jammed into washers and need to be hung to dry, shaving 40% of my surface area, nail polish, etc. Which isn’t to say men don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Nice car, nice attire, putting up with shit daily to make a decent amount of money, keeping my wits when shit hits the fan, etc. Which isn’t to say women don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is.
And men still have to work to get laid.
[/quote]
Yes, orion, but I have a job too! I do ALL THOSE THINGS. How many physical assaults on staff have occurred recently at your place of employment? Mine? Five in three years. Plus I have a car, etc.
But okay, I’m done. You seem very determined to feel fucked over, so please have at it and good luck.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Also, I’m laughing to imagine myself writhing in an agony of terror over my boyfriend’s son and the possibility that he fucked some hot woman and now that he’s got a kid just wants to play me for my stability.
When I was in my early 20s, guys with kids were no-goes for me. You CAN set limits and make choices. [/quote]
That’s because you’ve never had to put work into getting laid. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Heels, smelling good, managing a wardrobe of fragile things that don’t like to be jammed into washers and need to be hung to dry, shaving 40% of my surface area, nail polish, etc. Which isn’t to say men don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is. [/quote]
You may be right! But on the other hand, I do put work into being an appealing lay. Nice car, nice attire, putting up with shit daily to make a decent amount of money, keeping my wits when shit hits the fan, etc. Which isn’t to say women don’t make an effort to be appealing; I know they do. But less is expected. That’s just how it is.
And men still have to work to get laid.
[/quote]
Yes, orion, but I have a job too! I do ALL THOSE THINGS. How many physical assaults on staff have occurred recently at your place of employment? Mine? Five in three years. Plus I have a car, etc.
But okay, I’m done. You seem very determined to feel fucked over, so please have at it and good luck. [/quote]
But okay, I’m done. You seem very determined to feel that I feel “fucked over” or are “scared” of women, so please have at it and good luck.
What IS your point? Can you articulate it in one simple sentence? I hear you saying that there is the potential for great harm because the court systems are protective of women at the expense of men. I hear you saying that women have a biological imperative to behave in ways that are, let’s face it, sociopathic, at least as described by you. I hear you saying that “NAWALT” is a ploy women use when trying to manipulate/fool men into…WHAT, though?
You say you’re unhappy, so I try to tell you things that might reassure or comfort you. “Try this and maybe things will change.” That’s it! Our entire dynamic. It’s like telling a school kid that if they studied and did their homework things might get better, and having them insist and insist and insist that it won’t help their grades because the work is too hard.
And that is why I question your intelligence. To be wedded to a status quo that makes you miserable seems to me the height of foolishness. It comes up over and over again on these boards, and frankly it’s depressing as hell. I always feel the same way about the women who emasculate and infantilize their men.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
What IS your point? Can you articulate it in one simple sentence? I hear you saying that there is the potential for great harm because the court systems are protective of women at the expense of men. I hear you saying that women have a biological imperative to behave in ways that are, let’s face it, sociopathic, at least as described by you. I hear you saying that “NAWALT” is a ploy women use when trying to manipulate/fool men into…WHAT, though?
You say you’re unhappy, so I try to tell you things that might reassure or comfort you. “Try this and maybe things will change.” That’s it! Our entire dynamic. It’s like telling a school kid that if they studied and did their homework things might get better, and having them insist and insist and insist that it won’t help their grades because the work is too hard.
And that is why I question your intelligence. To be wedded to a status quo that makes you miserable seems to me the height of foolishness. It comes up over and over again on these boards, and frankly it’s depressing as hell. I always feel the same way about the women who emasculate and infantilize their men.
Why can’t everyone just be nice? [/quote]
Thats a lot of issues, lets take that step by step.
I have no problem with you trying the best you can be.
Anyone who tries to kick the fate others accept in quiet desperation square in the nuts make me want to see him succeed. [/quote]
I think “the fate [you] accept in quiet desperation” led me to believe that you may be unhappy. lol[/quote]
Alright, so you took the one post that was decidedly positive and interpreted in a way that made you post that I am an little bit on the slow side, my sexual partners are from the bottom of the barrel and that I am like a schoolboy in need of soothing.
I think that is a fair assessement, here is my interpretation:
Women are very quick to see any form of kindness as a sign of weakness and then go very quickly for the kill, using emasculation and sexual shaming.
You can look at your posts and what social position you assume towards while trying to “comfort” me and what position that necessarily puts me in for you being able to hold yours.
Then there is evidence B, this article:
It is one of an infinite amount. Notice that the entire focus of the article, written by a woman what is wrong with men. Notice also the iterations of the two main themes, emasculation and sexual shaming. Finally, notice how not one thought is wasted on the idea that the problem could be them.
I do not expect to convince you, but I have hopes that you become just uneasy enough so that you go through a few articles by women lamenting the lack of “good men” and once you see the pattern, go look in the real world.
See if there is something to it.
Bonus points when you find out when exactly that pattern occurs, there are triggers.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
Orion, since you chose to ignore my post, allow me to ask you directly:
As far as you can objectively tell, how much of your view arises out of having been seriously hurt by some woman / women ?[/quote]
I did not feel that I had ignored anything.
To answer your question, all of it.
However, I dont see that as relevant, usually men grow up trying to please their mommy and since there are a lot of single moms out there and there are more female teachers than man, most men can hit college without having had any positive male authority figure in their lifes.
Those men are bound to get hurt, I was no exception and this is when you start to reassess the world around you.
I would not describe myself as mortally wounded, I would describe my experiences as growing pains.
It sounds like you are pulling ass just fine and don’t want a relationship so I don’t see the problem. However, I realize you want an FB situation and that seems to be the trouble.
Just like men, women enjoy casual sex with few exceptions. Some people would be amazed how easily women of a certain image and status can be slutted out.
Unlike men, women care how they are perceived sexually and it is almost like they press “pause” to be slutty before resuming their “real” life. It’s weird and crazy but accurate.
When they see your opinion as one they may respect, they go prim and proper and this is why they want you taking them out on dates, they aren’t after your wallet for college town dinners, they are after image preservation. When and if you ever obviously have enough money to buy a woman a car and extend a line of credit her way, you will recognize gold diggers. Gold diggers aren’t after tacos and cheap beer.
Your problem is most likely setting false expectations. You want a fuckbuddy. Fuckbuddies are sluts and should be treated as such. You don’t talk to them outside of meaningless chit chat, you don’t become actual buddies and you don’t show qualities indicative of a “good guy” for a relationship. You treat them like extended one night stands, which is what they are.
They know this and as long as you stay discreet to preserve their image enjoy it too. When you’re done fucking, send them home. They don’t need to spend the night and you don’t cuddle talking vaginas. Politely tell them something like “I had fun, I’d like to see you again some time” and if you gave them a good time, they will say ok. Do not invest more of yourself then that. It is a sexual relationship and nothing more, if I read your OP correctly.
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
28 isn’t old…but it is when surrounded by 22
It isn’t ugly but surrounded by 22 it is
Not creepy either…but on a college campus it is.
I’ve been to a few frat parties where older brothers are there…near 30…no one wants anything to do with them.
They only see op as a sugardaddy…[/quote]
This man is wise.
Get your dumb ass to someplace 28 year old women hang out…try a cooking class…dance lessons…you’ll be the only fucking male there…get yourself a nicer wardrobe, quit wearing that dumb ass baseball hat, learn something about food and wine and you’ll be much happier.
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
28 isn’t old…but it is when surrounded by 22
It isn’t ugly but surrounded by 22 it is
Not creepy either…but on a college campus it is.
I’ve been to a few frat parties where older brothers are there…near 30…no one wants anything to do with them.
They only see op as a sugardaddy…[/quote]
This man is wise.
Get your dumb ass to someplace 28 year old women hang out…try a cooking class…dance lessons…you’ll be the only fucking male there…get yourself a nicer wardrobe, quit wearing that dumb ass baseball hat, learn something about food and wine and you’ll be much happier.[/quote]
I think you are the first person to ever tell Rock that he is wise.
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
28 isn’t old…but it is when surrounded by 22
It isn’t ugly but surrounded by 22 it is
Not creepy either…but on a college campus it is.
I’ve been to a few frat parties where older brothers are there…near 30…no one wants anything to do with them.
They only see op as a sugardaddy…[/quote]
This man is wise.
Get your dumb ass to someplace 28 year old women hang out…try a cooking class…dance lessons…you’ll be the only fucking male there…get yourself a nicer wardrobe, quit wearing that dumb ass baseball hat, learn something about food and wine and you’ll be much happier.[/quote]
I think you are the first person to ever tell Rock that he is wise.
