[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think, orion, that you vastly underestimate the degree to which good men and women want the same things. So my today’s equation is this:
Follow heart + mind = win.
Follow dick + mind = win.
Follow ONLY heart or dick into a relationship = fail.
Which is to say I agree with you, but posit for your consideration that the results you’re seeing have in large part to do with a failure to use your critical thinking capacity to evaluate your dick’s choices. You seem to THINK you’re using your mind to evaluate women as a whole when you say “here is the female mating imperative,” but your premises are flawed. You’re only evaluating a certain type of woman, while at the same time continuing in a mindset that ensures that these are the women you get. Although I’m not sure you are using your mind. Your reactions strike me as being very emotional. Fear-based.
Everyone wants security and stability. There is nothing wrong with that and you should consider reducing your fear of it. Women want to safely rear their children, they want someone with the physical strength to protect them, they want to know their partner is devoted. Men want security, too. They want to safely rear their children, they want someone with the dedication to maintain “sexy,” they want to know their partner is devoted. People want to feel valued and loved. Men, too!
You seem to indicate that women want stability only after they are beaten down by age, and/or when they have successfully obtained the “genetic material” of one man and are in the market for another to support it. These are the women whose complex programming has them reacting only based on emotion? Orion, you are involved with idiots. Solid people are not basket cases, regardless of age. Solid = solid, flaky = flaky. Don’t blame flaky on biology.
[/quote]
First of all, I have known some solid women in my life, which were still women, but they at least tried at times to grow beyond that, with varying degress of success.
What I am laying out here is the basic model, not the bells and whistles.
If you want an example of a decent woman trying to grow beyond her basic programming, look at your post. It is basically two ways of public and sexual shaming, I either “fear” women or I only have sex with skanks (if at all! Sorry, it is the last piece of the triad, you failed to put it in, so I did).
Yet, you do it in a rather civil and subtle manner, being a gentlewoman so to speak.
Finally, damn right I fear women. Not per se, there is little to fear, but with the force of a nation state at her back if she decides to play me, I am at bit of a disadvantage in a lot of situations anbd hell yes, I take that into account. [/quote]
Oh boy.
We all, men and women alike, have a responsibility to grow beyond our basic programming. We are programmed to act like animals, but personally I prefer to use toilets and nice smelling soaps.
My post is not meant to shame you, but instead to suggest that you might consider whether this would be a good time for some growth of your own. I don’t think I need to grow currently as concerns relationships, since I am pretty happy in this regard and understand my guy to feel the same way. [/quote]
It does not matter what it was meant to be, it simply was a permutation of a simple female tactic, public shaming.
That basically takes two forms, either you question the masculinity or the sexuality of a male opponent.
The less evolved forms are, you live in your moms basement, no girl would want you anyway, you are man enough, gay, have a small dick, cannot handle a real woman, etc…
It is next to impossible to use on me because I immediately lock on to what it is.
I only said that it was an example of being female, just the more evolved version of being female.
And it was. [/quote]
Orion, I’m puzzled as to why you think I would bother to use my time to shame you? For what purpose?
For the record, I do not question your masculinity or your sexuality, about which I know nothing, and you are not my male opponent. Opponent in what contest? I’m telling of my relatively happy experiences navigating relationships and you’re telling of your seemingly unhappy experiences. This is an exchange of ideas, not a contest.
I DO question your intelligence and your ability to evaluate and adjust your behavior and thinking as appropriate given outcomes or results, because you seem to be holding tightly to negative assumptions despite evidence to the contrary.
If you men are so terrified of the women-loving nation state, for heaven’s sake, don’t get married and be sure to use birth control. Easily managed, that.
