Is Violence Really The Answer?

Off Topic
61

[quote]Kalle wrote:
Stick up for yourself and have some confidence. If you do this I bet the situations where you have to will diminish. Also get bigger. The bigger I have gotten the less crap people have tried to start with me.

[/quote]
That’s where shit gets confusing. The bigger I get, the more people have tried to start shit with the “big guy”.

Of course I have introduced my self as Pat Bateman every time and they have always looked at me weird and somehow disappeared. j/k

Nah, I just usually let them know that I am not there for their amusement.

One time:

I was piss drunk to the point where I looked like I was standing on a surfboard. There was a guy who was there with my girl’s friend. He was bragging that he was a personal trainer. I kept my mouth shut and never talked shit at all. He started getting aggressive with me to prove he was the man or whatever. I looked at him and smiled. All I said was, “it looks like you ain’t getting any from her tonight.” He stormed off in a fit of rage. The girl hooked up with another dude. I drank myself into the wee hours of the morning. Everybody won, except him.

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[quote]Chewie wrote:
I was piss drunk to the point where I looked like I was standing on a surfboard. There was a guy who was there with my girl’s friend. He was bragging that he was a personal trainer. I kept my mouth shut and never talked shit at all. He started getting aggressive with me to prove he was the man or whatever. I looked at him and smiled. All I said was, “it looks like you ain’t getting any from her tonight.” He stormed off in a fit of rage. The girl hooked up with another dude. I drank myself into the wee hours of the morning. Everybody won, except him.
[/quote]

Best. Story. Ever. (After the whole stop sign thing, which btw, the OP should do.)

63

Anger is a gift.

Learn to harness your anger. Regardless of what you may have been lead to believe, anger is not a crime.

You need to learn to get fucking angry.

It DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON AND DOES NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO LEAD UP TO VIOLENCE.

Let it show on your face, in your body language, in your voice, and in your words. If you learn to feel honest to god fucking pissed off, people will tend to back off.

Learn to raise your voice. Learn to say no to people. Learn to say “fuck off” and “fuck you”. You are not a doormat, you are a MAN. These are life skills.

Here’s MY personal advice. He hits, you’d better be fucking angry. Its your RIGHT to be angry, he’s fucking hitting you! You stand the hell up, look him right in the eye and ask him 'what the FUCK is your GODDDAMN PROBLEM".

Yes, use those words or something along those lines. He’ll be surprised. He’ll be on the defensive. In all likelihood you won’t have to escalate to violence. Feel free to tell him off. Whatever you do, don’t plead in a wheedling fearful quiet voice. And for the love of god, don’t ask him the “three aforementioned questions” or just “hope that he’ll change”.

Why? Because its your RIGHT. Nobody has the right to mess with to. Nobody has the right to hit you. Don’t ask him “Why does he have to be like that” in soft polite little voice, that only enforces his power over you. Don’t shy away and hope that he will change. Why? Do something about it, its your person that he is infringing upon.

You need to get the whole notion out your head right now that standing up for yourself will necessarily entail violence. Most of the time it will not. In a workplace, 99.99999999% it will not. More importantly, you have to understand that it is your RIGHT to stand up yourself. To speak up. To get angry, get mad. You have to understand that it is in no way shape or form wrong to do so.

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Damn right.

We have the right to speak up.

We must stand up for ourselves!

FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND TRUE!

[b]FOLLOW ME SISTERS!!!

STAND UP!!!

BURN YOUR BRAS AND…[/b]

uh…

I guess I got a little carried away.

65

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Chewie wrote:
I was piss drunk to the point where I looked like I was standing on a surfboard. There was a guy who was there with my girl’s friend. He was bragging that he was a personal trainer. I kept my mouth shut and never talked shit at all. He started getting aggressive with me to prove he was the man or whatever. I looked at him and smiled. All I said was, “it looks like you ain’t getting any from her tonight.” He stormed off in a fit of rage. The girl hooked up with another dude. I drank myself into the wee hours of the morning. Everybody won, except him.

Best. Story. Ever. (After the whole stop sign thing, which btw, the OP should do.)[/quote]

huh?

66

Keep squashing your emotions down deep. Eventualy they will turn into a venomous burning rage. When they do, unleash this fury upon people who represent what you hate.

There. Does that sound like a good idea?

67

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Too late. You are 18 now and can be tried as an adult for fighting.

[/quote]

i dont know where you live but the cops around here are worthless. people break into my brothers house, they dont even collect evidence, he points out what they’ve stolen and where to look for prints, but no who cares.
Point is kick some ass and get the hell outa there, cause they do show up eventually.

68

[quote]FightingScott wrote:
conner wrote:
FightingScott wrote:
meangenes wrote:
Watch this movie.

Now no, I am not advocating living your life after this very considerable role-model but, take the philosophy, understand it and make it work for you.

You mean Tyler’s philosophy, Nihilism? That’s the most bullshit philosophy ever.

Well, the movie sucked in general.

Not true. If you think self-improvement is masturbation then what are you doing at T-Nation. Fight Club is a cool story. Tylder Durten is a fucked up personality. [/quote]

I don’t know what you want me to say here, man…I think the movie sucked, and the reasons why are for an entirely different thread altogether.

69

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
Everyone,

Thank you very much for all the replies. However, I don’t think actually ‘fighting’ him will do any harm. There is a guy at my work who keeps patting my back and neck hard, to the point where it sounds like a slap, because he says he likes my muscularity and apparently it feels good to stroke muscle. Theres another guy at my work who encourages me stand up for myself but even to this day, I won’t let myself.

This type of situation hasn’t happened since the eighth grade; in high school, no one really physically took advantage of me, everyone just made me the center of jokes because it was ‘easy’ and ‘fun’. This was when I began weightlifting and easily became one of the bigger guys in school, so I’m sure they didn’t want to do anything physical.

Well back to the fucker at my work, I’ve found the reason why I don’t want to do anything is because I simply just don’t want to deal with confrontation - why do I even have to tell him to stop in the first place? Why can’t he just stop? Why does he have to hit me so hard? I guess I don’t have a spine, but still he asks me, “man you must hate it when I hit you. Here, hit me. Cmon…” but then I digress and back off because I can’t touch anyone - something in my brain tells me not to. Maybe I should ask him the three aforementioned questions and hope he’ll change.

Oh, and to those conservative, red-neck, testosterone-ridden idiots (you know who you are) who tell me to “kick his ass!”, “kick anyone’s ass who touches you!”, you’re really not helping at all. In fact, you’re just making me want to stay the way I am. Thanks to everyone else besides ^.[/quote]

are you sure the backslapper doesnt want some gay-love with you? maybe you could get a sexual harrassment dealy on him.

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[quote]sawadeekrob wrote:
Man if you read the Bible Jesus was never a prayer of put the other cheek. He said to be tolerant…not a pussy.[/quote]

Absolutely correct! I understand the fact that your 18 and there are ramifications for fighting but… like it was stated you need to make a stand. Build up your confidence. You can look in a crowded room and see who has confidence and who has none at all. It’s the way you hold yourself. Stand up straight ! Look people in the eye ! IM me if you need more advice.

71

[quote]michael2507 wrote:
Damn right.

We have the right to speak up.

We must stand up for ourselves!

FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND TRUE!

[b]FOLLOW ME SISTERS!!!

STAND UP!!!

BURN YOUR BRAS AND…[/b]

uh…

I guess I got a little carried away.[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHHA!!!

72

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery. – Malcolm X

73

[quote]Renton wrote:
“Once you’ve taken a few punches and realise you’re not made of glass, you don’t feel alive unless you’re pushing yourself as far as you can go”

Man up. Kick ass.[/quote]

Green Street Hooligans. One of the best movies ever made.

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“Speak softly and carry a big stick”
-Theadore Roosevelt

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Before I reply to you I’ll address your question in the thread “Is violence really the answer?”

Answer: It depends. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not.

The 1st thing I would recommend is to STOP thinking absolute terms (black & white, right or wrong, etc). You gotta understand that there are “degrees”. And certain situations call for certain responses.

Ok enough philosophy…

Look at the end of the day YOU WON’T have to actually fight anyone in the office. Really. You see people are just messing with you because you let them. Your like a punching pillow, soft, easely dominated, and fun to play around with. The problem is not that you “don’t fight”, the problem is that you COMPLETELY avoid conflict, and let others “play” with you for their own amusement and show off to others watching. In H.S, middle school, that “play” meant beating you, throwing stuff at you, etc. Now, when people are adults, it means making smart-ass comments about you, hitting you as if they were padding you, etc… Its the same shit. They fuck with you for their amusement as they don’t respect you.

Most people will stop “playing” with you, as soon as you stand up for youself and simply TALK. Other people won’t stop until you verbally WARN them. For others you will display some type of fight behavior along with the warning. Sometimes all you have to do is look at they guy in the EYE, and thats enough to make him stop. RARELY you will come across a guy who will actually try to fight, and thats when its time to Talk With You Hands (and I don’t mean sign language).

I will tell you what a friend of mine, Luis, told another friend of mine, Jorge, in 5th Grade one day we were all talking. Back then Jorge always got picked on by the bully (forgot his name).

“You know why Bully never messes with NeoSpartan? Because he knows NeoSpartan fights”

Don’t hold yourself back from letting the guy/gal know your are not a punching pillow man. Thats is just stupid.

Oh and one more thing… You are NOT Gandhi and the British Empire is NOT exploiting you. So what he did along with millions of people to get rid of the British in the 1940’s does not apply to your office.

77

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
So some guy at work keeps slapping the back of your neck, in a blatant display of dominance over you.

Doesn’t that crush a little of your spirit, every time you meekly allow that to happen?

Anyway, I digress. There’s no need to growl at him, cos your workmates might see tha sudden change in attitude as a sign that you are allowing yourself to become seriosly stress by this fool. Not good.

Instead, why not be sharp and flip it back on him?

One time, when he is sitting down, you appraoch from behind and slap HIM in exactly the same way he slaps you, only with about 15-25% more force (no more than that or you risk an assault charge).

Then just walk away, or add a putdown, like “I wanted to see how it feels to ‘stroke some muscle’ as you put it, but really, you don’t have much, so I guess I’ll never know”

The dude will experience just how annoying it is to be on the recieving end and is very likely to just stop.

Or, he may laugh it off, whilst seething inside. He may then seek to escalate the situation, in which case, post back and we’ll tak eit from there, lol.

Bushy[/quote]

So simple, and yet the best idea.

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I feel as though the discussion of this has gone a little bit to far. OP your questions was whether or not violence is the answer then you insult everyone who agrees with the fact that you should get physical. It’s not that anyone thinks that you should just fuck the dude up unjustifiably. He deserves it!

Insulting people who trust your judgment and are simply reiterating the same thought that you are feeling is not the way to go about things.

I would venture to say that I should not trust your judgment. You’re acting like he doesn’t deserve to get his fucking block knocked. What are you afraid of? There’s no shame in defending yourself.

Just think about it. Then act. I like Bushy’s response.

79

[quote]conner wrote:
FightingScott wrote:
conner wrote:
FightingScott wrote:
meangenes wrote:
Watch this movie.

Now no, I am not advocating living your life after this very considerable role-model but, take the philosophy, understand it and make it work for you.

You mean Tyler’s philosophy, Nihilism? That’s the most bullshit philosophy ever.

Well, the movie sucked in general.

Not true. If you think self-improvement is masturbation then what are you doing at T-Nation. Fight Club is a cool story. Tylder Durten is a fucked up personality.

I don’t know what you want me to say here, man…I think the movie sucked, and the reasons why are for an entirely different thread altogether.[/quote]

Ok.

80

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
There’s no need to growl at him, cos your workmates might see tha sudden change in attitude as a sign that you are allowing yourself to become seriosly stress by this fool. Not good.
[/quote]

That’s why he doesn’t want to do anything, because he doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of the others. He thinks if he lets this guy get a rise out of him then he loses. But that just leaves him trapped. The guy has already gotten a rise out of him, or else he wouldn’t be posting about this petty crap here. As has been said before, the OP has been taught by his parents that anger is wrong, but that’s not true. He has a right to be angry, he just shouldn’t let his anger lead him to violence, and the best way to do that is to let it out.

If he yells at this guy and embarrasses himself infront of his workmates, who cares? He is 18, and 3 years from now he won’t even remember the names of half of these people he works with. He needs to risk embarrassment for the sake of personal growth.

Whatever he does, I hope he gives us some updates as to how it turns out.