Is Violence Really The Answer?

Off Topic
41

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:

Well back to the fucker at my work, I’ve found the reason why I don’t want to do anything is because I simply just don’t want to deal with confrontation - why do I even have to tell him to stop in the first place? Why can’t he just stop? Why does he have to hit me so hard? I guess I don’t have a spine, but still he asks me, “man you must hate it when I hit you. Here, hit me. Cmon…” but then I digress and back off because I can’t touch anyone - something in my brain tells me not to. Maybe I should ask him the three aforementioned questions and hope he’ll change.[/quote]

Dude. You DON’T have to put up with that. But as long as you do. It will continue.

So ask yourself. Do you like it? If the answer is no, then you need to take action.

I don’t think you need to throw punches. But a “Fuck off and never touch me again” with an extremely angry tone will probably be enough.

Sure you don’t like confrontation. But noone does. The reason this guy is doing this is because there’s no fear of a confrontation for him.

You’re being bullied by a halfwit. Is that the kind of person you think deserves to get the better of you?

How old are you now? If you won’t stand up for yourself now, then when? When you’re 30? When you’re 40?

Life is too short to tolerate this stuff.

But it’s your choice.

42

pussy.

43

[quote]meangenes wrote:
I feel bad for guys who have lived 12+ years of their lives with never being in a fight. Then again I was the youngest of 4 boys so… I didn’t really have a choice.

I disagree Tex. If you don’t back down people gain a respect for you. Not as much as if you win of course but.

Everyone that fights has lost a fight. Lose until you win, that’s the only way.[/quote]

Except if you are already a bitch they bully, and you get your ass kicked while trying to stick up for yourself, you will just become a bigger joke.

44

To the OP:

Dude, I cannot believe what you just wrote. And won’t comment on it.

You mentioned reading the bible early on. May I suggest the first and second books of Samuel found therein, especially the parts on the life of David.

This guy started as a mild shepherd and ended up as the warrior king of Jerusalem. He surrounded himself with a band of men who would make the cast of 300 look like amateurs. I won’t spoil it for you, but you will see that he was just as deeply flawed as the rest of us, but proved himself a well rounded man with many skills and abilities. He once avoided a dangerous situation by avoiding conflict and instead feigning insanity, and once was held back from using violence against a man by the man’s wife who later ended up marrying him instead, but by and large he DIDN’T back down.

He is also not portrayed as a violent jerk with a bad chip on his shoulder. There’s a BALANCE to be struck.

I don’t think we’re talking about violence at this point, I think we’re talking about self esteem. You need to develop it, because no one deserves ill treatment.

45

Forget all the shit others posters are advising you.
People are hitting you for the fun.You are not a punching bag.
Hit them hard! Inflict evil on them.
Hurt them hard!
make them feel very sorry they messed with you!

46

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
Everyone,

Thank you very much for all the replies. However, I don’t think actually ‘fighting’ him will do any harm. There is a guy at my work who keeps patting my back and neck hard, to the point where it sounds like a slap, because he says he likes my muscularity and apparently it feels good to stroke muscle. Theres another guy at my work who encourages me stand up for myself but even to this day, I won’t let myself.
[/quote]

Tell him that he is turning you on when he does that. Be sure to lick your lips when you say it.

That’ll skeer him.

47

I was raised by a Christian and a Pacifist, so I was taught that all violence was wrong. That said, I got picked on a school, got into fights, and win or lose people always left me alone afterwards.

Here’s the problem with being raised pacifist, you learn to shy away from conflict. Conflict is a normal part of life, and doesn’t have to equal violence. In fact, being confident in your own ability to handle conflict will help keep the situation from ever reaching the point of violence.

Most people learn to deal with conflict as children, when the stakes and consequences aren’t so high. A seven year old isn’t going to break another seven year old’s jaw with a punch. Unfortunately for you you didn’t make use of this opportunity, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a pussy the rest of your life.

I would strongly recommend you take up boxing, as others have recommended. It’s close to actual fighting, but the situation is controlled and no one should get seriously hurt or thrown in jail. Second I would recommend you get a job as a bartender as soon as you turn 21. Find a really shitty bar too, one with bouncers. You need to learn how to stand up to aggresive irrational people without resorting to violence except in extreme cases. And if someone does come after you and you can’t handle it, the bouncers will be there to help. I’m not recommending you do this for the rest of your life, just think of it as taking a few years off after college for personal growth. Some people join the peace corps or travel europe, you need to pass out booze to belligerent assholes, for the good of your soul.

48

[quote]sawadeekrob wrote:
Man if you read the Bible Jesus was never a prayer of put the other cheek. He said to be tolerant…not a pussy.[/quote]

For gods sake, he beat the crap out of a frickin temple.

He’s da man.

49

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
Everyone,

Thank you very much for all the replies. However, I don’t think actually ‘fighting’ him will do any harm. There is a guy at my work who keeps patting my back and neck hard, to the point where it sounds like a slap, because he says he likes my muscularity and apparently it feels good to stroke muscle. Theres another guy at my work who encourages me stand up for myself but even to this day, I won’t let myself.

This type of situation hasn’t happened since the eighth grade; in high school, no one really physically took advantage of me, everyone just made me the center of jokes because it was ‘easy’ and ‘fun’. This was when I began weightlifting and easily became one of the bigger guys in school, so I’m sure they didn’t want to do anything physical.

Well back to the fucker at my work, I’ve found the reason why I don’t want to do anything is because I simply just don’t want to deal with confrontation - why do I even have to tell him to stop in the first place? Why can’t he just stop? Why does he have to hit me so hard? I guess I don’t have a spine, but still he asks me, “man you must hate it when I hit you. Here, hit me. Cmon…” but then I digress and back off because I can’t touch anyone - something in my brain tells me not to. Maybe I should ask him the three aforementioned questions and hope he’ll change.

Oh, and to those conservative, red-neck, testosterone-ridden idiots (you know who you are) who tell me to “kick his ass!”, “kick anyone’s ass who touches you!”, you’re really not helping at all. In fact, you’re just making me want to stay the way I am. Thanks to everyone else besides ^.[/quote]

Brother, what you are doing now is NOT the answer. You are completely avoiding conflict, instead of FACING UP to it, for YOURSELF. This guy will CONTINUE to ridicule, mock, and abuse you if you let him. He will not just snap out of it one day, and realize what a dick he is being. So if you are hoping that will happen, its not.

I once knew a guy in college who I had beef with. We were both in business school, and it got to the point where a joking shove or push by this guy was seriously about to send me into a fit of rage. Of course, fighting was not the answer, because I would have been thrown out of school if I knocked his lights out in the middle of the lecture hall. But did I just sit there and take it? Hell no.

The very next time this guy came up to me, I simply said “Don’t ever fucking touch me again.” Done. Issue resolved. Dude didnt even so much as come near me, and I had classes with the guy. His tough guy facade was demolished by WORDS. And after that, the guy didn’t bother me anymore. He wasn’t in my head. I never even wasted a single thought on the guy.

But you know what, you need to ruin this guy’s shit. Or alternatively, get your shit ruined by this guy. Regardless of win or lose, I guarantee you, you will have peace of mind. You will have confidence. You won’t be coming on the internet posting behind the facade of “non-violence.” Dont give me that non-violence BS. You aint Gandhi. Gandhi would have damned well ruined the shit of another man, if he was physically threatened.

You are straight up scared. And you know what? Thats ok, bro. Everyone is fucking scared. But you cannot, under any circumstances or ideologies, let this guy push you around. That is absolutely unacceptable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of standing up for yourself. If you don’t, it will begin to negatively affect every other area of your life. Look at this as a massive challenge that you need to overcome. The rewards will be tremendous.

I once had a friend who told me “I’ve backed down from fights I would have won, and I’ve backed down from fights I would have lost.” This guy doesn’t fight for no reason at all, he fights only if its necessary. And right now, its necessary.

I can’t believe I am advocating this, but next time this guy so much as lays a fucking finger on you, throw a straight right at his fucking nose, and make him never forget it. Take this opportunity. Please, for yourself, take it.

50

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
Everyone,

Thank you very much for all the replies. However, I don’t think actually ‘fighting’ him will do any harm. There is a guy at my work who keeps patting my back and neck hard, to the point where it sounds like a slap, because he says he likes my muscularity and apparently it feels good to stroke muscle. Theres another guy at my work who encourages me stand up for myself but even to this day, I won’t let myself.

This type of situation hasn’t happened since the eighth grade; in high school, no one really physically took advantage of me, everyone just made me the center of jokes because it was ‘easy’ and ‘fun’. This was when I began weightlifting and easily became one of the bigger guys in school, so I’m sure they didn’t want to do anything physical.

Well back to the fucker at my work, I’ve found the reason why I don’t want to do anything is because I simply just don’t want to deal with confrontation - why do I even have to tell him to stop in the first place? Why can’t he just stop? Why does he have to hit me so hard? I guess I don’t have a spine, but still he asks me, “man you must hate it when I hit you. Here, hit me. Cmon…” but then I digress and back off because I can’t touch anyone - something in my brain tells me not to. Maybe I should ask him the three aforementioned questions and hope he’ll change.

Oh, and to those conservative, red-neck, testosterone-ridden idiots (you know who you are) who tell me to “kick his ass!”, “kick anyone’s ass who touches you!”, you’re really not helping at all. In fact, you’re just making me want to stay the way I am. Thanks to everyone else besides ^.[/quote]

Dude all he is doing is pushing your limits and showing that he is Dominant over you and the alpha male. He does this as an ego boast to himself. I always say the best fight is the one you avoid but that dosen’t mean be a bitch either! Stick up for yourself! I was the smallest kid in my class damn near every year growing up. Short, skinny, etc. I got picked on constantly. Every year I had to beat some different bully up. Lots of the times we ended up being friends afterwards. Its part of growing up! Being a push over is no way to live.

Hell in the past week I have almost gotten into two big fights. I think fighting is stupid and should be avoided if at all possible but if someone starts shit with you. You have to let them know you are willing to throw down and not scared of them. Having this attitude will most of the time keep you out of a fight. No one wants a good fight, they want to prey on the weak. Bully pushovers. Because for the most part the people that go around acting like idiots trying to get in fights everywhere are the weakest. Well expect for some who are just fucking crazy…

You have no idea the situations I dealt with this past week. Both times I didn’t fight, but I stood my ground and didn’t look like a bitch either.

You have to be a man! This doesn’t mean swinging at anyone who ever says something to you but at least letting them know that you will if they continue.

Stick up for yourself and have some confidence. If you do this I bet the situations where you have to will diminish. Also get bigger. The bigger I have gotten the less crap people have tried to start with me.

51

[quote]conner wrote:
FightingScott wrote:
meangenes wrote:
Watch this movie.

Now no, I am not advocating living your life after this very considerable role-model but, take the philosophy, understand it and make it work for you.

You mean Tyler’s philosophy, Nihilism? That’s the most bullshit philosophy ever.

Well, the movie sucked in general.[/quote]

Not true. If you think self-improvement is masturbation then what are you doing at T-Nation. Fight Club is a cool story. Tylder Durten is a fucked up personality.

52

[quote]StevenF wrote:
pussy. [/quote]

Hey azzhole. How the fuck does this help anything?

53

Here’s the thing about your current situation that I forgot to cover. You don’t want to confront this guy because he is “just kidding around,” and if you show that you take his kidding around seriously, you will get embarrassed, and everyone will be against you, because he was just joking and you went to far. And they will be right because it’s your fault for letting things get this serious.

You have to learn not to let this kind of thing develop. The best thing you can do is handle this kind of situation with a joke, then anger, then a shove, then outright violence last. I think you’ve let things in this case get past the joking and anger stages.

Go watch the movie Anger Management. In the beggining Jack Nicholson’s character says “there are two kinds of angry people, the customer who screams at the teller because they are out a certain flavor of gum, and the teller, who never vents their anger, but stores it up deep inside, until one day she comes back and shoots everyone in the store. You’re the teller.”

54

If you dont fight back then you shouldnt complain about it either.

55

[quote]Wrah wrote:
StevenF wrote:
pussy.

Hey azzhole. How the fuck does this help anything?[/quote]

I calls em how I sees em.

56

Ever since I began bodybuilding, no one ever starts shit with me. It’s funny because to be honest I’ve been in two fights in my life. Got knocked out in both. But for some reason most people equate being big with fighting skill. Then again, if I saw myself, I probably wouldn’t want to fight me either haha.

57

OP:
If you don’t fight back, then you must be a complete masochist whom loves to be dominated by men. That guy who slaps your neck sounds like a homo. He enjoys fondling muscle? You can still stand up for yourself by verbally destroying them.

When I used to work with people I disliked, I always yelled in a very hostile tone, the kind that is VERY BAD FOR THE EARS up close. Instead of them being jackasses towards me they seemed more frightened.

The thing about getting into fights is that I’ve always felt that if your opponent is still breathing and not a vegetable, they can get revenge. Plus there is also the possibility of them concealing a weapon.

58

Look dude,to be hoenst,I can relate. At HS I can remeber having shit throw at me,ppl shoving me out of the way,and insulting em through out 9th-10th grade. Maybe it was ebcause I was Asian and I looked like an easy target,maybe I was short,or maybe I was just an unlucky guy and got hit with a eraser. You know how I solve this problem? ACT and Re-ACT.

Stop keeping all your emotion in like people keep telling all your life,LET GO of all thoese reasons that stop you from reacting and Just fucking do it. I remeber back in the the 11th grade I was in English and this black kid threw something in the back of my head. I blew up. I grabbed that wad of paper and threw it right at his face and storm up to him.

“Stop being a fucking pussy,if you want to hit me,then do it” Ofcoarse he denied it but from that day on,people knew I wasent going to be pushed around anymore. Build some more muscle,buy a punching bag,and train everyday. Theres gonna be a day where you got that breakin point…in on that day,you`ll be ready.

59

[quote]meangenes wrote:
Nothing better than beating ass and then having some nice test-charged sex.[/quote]

“Godddd bless Americaaaa”

-dizzle

60

Take his ass down. Give him something to think about. Come back and post.