I need help to help a friend

Okay here’s the deal. This girl at work decided she wanted to loose weight. She wasn’t
overweight to begin with and of course a sensible diet and excercise didn’t enter her mind. She resorted to eating only crackers , diet mt dew and xenedrine like it was candy.
She has lost 50lbs. (where she even had 50 to loose I don’t know) and now wants to loose more! She looks very sick, you can see where her bones and skin and what little muscle tissue there is seperates into a saggy heap.
She drinks like crazy every weekend , usually tequilla or whiskey. All this has happened since she got a divorce so I guess thats where it started. Anyway now she has dizzy spells and such and one day I truly believe she will end up hooked up to IVs lying in a bed.
I try to talk to her about this , she laughs it off. Her ‘friends’ won’t talk to her about it because they are afraid she will get mad.

Do you guys know of any articles on the net I can print off to give to her to maybe get her thinking? Or any suggestions on how to approach her even further? Anything would be helpful , I am just afraid she will end up in the hospital or maybe even dead.
Many thanks,

This is a hard thing to approach do to the fact that women are so touchy about their bodies. The most important thing is that she needs to be mentally sound. Remember in the Matrix, “The Body is nothing without the mind.” That and you are what you eat are the truest things I have ever heard. Once she is right in the head the body will follow. Ask her if she has ever heard abou the body for life challenge. Tell her that you might be doing it and that there is a cash prize. Money always motivates women. If that does not work then invite her out for a drink and try to tell her the honest truth without upsetting her. Let her know that you will help. Just don’t make her more depressed.

Suggest counseling. She is hurting bad and doesn’t care about long term costs. Your care and concern don’t matter until she does too. Has she hit the hyperpromiscuous stage, the blame stage, the
I am so over it" stage, the I am so ready to move on stage???
Be a friend and buy her the book “when your relationship ends”

maybe she needs a change of environment to ease her mind some, and then you can start a more rational cutting plan

Thanks for the input guys

The idea about her not being in the correct mental state I believe is dead on. Until she can get over what she is dealing with it will be hard to talk sense to her. I just hope when she does come to her senses it won’t be too late.


Take it from someone who has gone through a divorce - it’s one tough time. Even though I was the person doing the leaving and am a “tough” person (mentally and physically), it was still devastating. It’s a huge change and left me, at the time, with a strong feeling of failure. And can be uncomfortable -not just for you but for your friends. If these so-called friends of hers were developed during the time of her marriage, they also could be going through a “denial” period, or time of adjustment. And just don’t want to upset the apple cart anymore by not approaching her. Which is sad. And that brings me up to another thing: this is a time where you find out who your friends really are.

The people who stuck by my side and helped me through my separation and eventual divorce have been my good friends since. It sounds like you are a good friend and truly care for this woman's well being. Tell her that. When you intervene at such delicate times, it's more important not to be confrontational, but to show that you indeed care. And the reason she "laughs it off" could either be she's uncomfortable with someone "taking care of her" at this point - you know, she "can take care of herself" type attitude or doesn't want you to bother yourself into worrying about her. Well, let her know that it ain't a bother at all. That you want to be there for her.

Occasionally call her up, just to see how's she doing. The thing is, just keep her mind busy and moving forward. Sorry, for being so verbose - but I hope this helps.

Thanks Patricia, what ya said can be very much applied here. I looked up eating disorters and such and it does seem like she is anorexic.
I have learned today she is loosing more hair than normal in the shower and she thinks it her conditioner(sigh). I told my wife of the situation and she supports me supporting the friend. Glad she isn’t the super jealous type.

well I will keep at her (not nagging) and maybe somethin will come through.


Print this thread out and show it to her. (Or maybe just leave it on her desk or something anonymously.)

As usual, I agree with Patricia. Divorces, even the “easy” ones, are very tough.

Good luck!