Fix your own hormones and focus on yourself, I don’t know you, but you sound like you’re stuck on someone who broke up with you and sound like you’re blaming it on hormones and posting this topic for some hope that trt will save your relationship. Trt isn’t magic. If you were a push over, you’ll just be less of a pushover. Work on yourself, for yourself, not in hopes to save a broken relationship. Theres an underlying issue, find it, fix it, but for yourself.
When a women says finding herself, its always worse than you think. Its a womans nice way of saying I want to see what else is out there, aka I wanna see what its like to be plowed by other men. I may sound misogynist, but I like you have “waited” in hopes of a relationship restoration before. It was always 10x worse the second time around.
@josht9210. Yes. I am working on myself for myself. TRT is one component in that and a large one. My marriage is very important to me and so are my kids. I can not predict the outcome nor can I change her mind for her. She has to want to do that. Regardless of the outcome , good or bad, I have to be a better person for myself and those around me. The best possible outcome oftentimes is not what happens. Hopefully it is here but only time will tell.
What you resist persists, just accept it as if its over, how would you act etc? The quicker you come to terms with this and move on, the quicker you turn into a better version of yourself, for your kids.
I don’t know what its like to be married, have kids and lose them etc. But I do know women. She left you for a reason, I’m assuming some sort of needy, clinginess. Even if you get her back it won’t last long. You have to commit to changing yourself longterm, and I’m sure by the time you do, you won’t want her anymore, you’ll want someone who didn’t abandon you even after all I’m sure you’ve done for them.
To be clear iron, a job, an understanding husband, and the will to push past issues based on a history of love fixed her
She was extremely iron deficient. To be clear (again) her nephrologist wasn’t sure how she was walking around with her iron levels so low. She would have to stop twice on the way up a flight of stairs.
Yeah your body needs iron to produce red blood cells which carry oxygen through the body. No oxygen carrying cells, no oxygen to the muscles, et al, no energy.
Man, I’m so jealous of your situation (in a good way, very happy for you)! My girlfriend has been so patient with me, so I try to return the favor with her issues that come up. Sadly we often collide on my efforts vs actual progress.
I.e. I’ve been more aggressive lately, so I spoke to my GP about it, my therapist, and got a referral for a new neurosurgeon to see if it could be related to my pituitary adenoma. Started going to AA to better understand my drinking habits too. None of this was good enough, and it just ended in more fighting.
On the flip side, she’s had trouble getting a job and has to borrow money from me. I sent her some links for free career counseling, and a couple of workbooks that really helped me. 2 weeks later she’s still asking me for money and hasn’t touched any of that or contacted the career service.
I’m totally understanding that everyone has issues (including me), but I feel the best apology you can offer to those affected is a honest plan to fix it, and actually following through with it.
Unfortunately the stress of each other’s problems is getting to be too much of a drain on the both of us, preventing us from actually fixing those issues.
Sucks because it’s the first breakup I’ve ever had with someone I’m still madly in love with and attracted to. But such is life!
Just be careful not to supplement it without getting your levels tested…I did that and felt horrendous, freaked out, went to the doctor and thought I was going to have to have blood drained. It resolved on its own, but I won’t touch that without reason anymore.
You obviously don’t know what it’s like to be married, and should know that this is incredibly awful advice. Seriously, you have no idea what you’re talking about and should keep that kind of nonsensical advice to yourself. I hope none of these guys took it seriously.
I’m sorry to hear that things are going south. Is it only your aggression or is the aggression on top of the drinking on top of her being dependent upon you? Have you guys sat down and gone through it all, like adults putting egos aside? Do you really feel she is taking advantage of you? Are you caught in boozes cycle of cloudy hangover → impaired judgement day after day? I’m asking because maybe you aren’t reacting the proper way either. Not saying that she is either, just saying you can’t process properly what’s going on if you are caught in that cycle. Hear me? I recently broke free so I am all too familiar with it.
Sure they do, but that has nothing to do with clinginess. It usually has to do with the guy being a complete dick. Not that blame is ever all one sided, but even if it’s the woman having the issues, the guy’s reaction and attitude plays a large role.
Nah I totally get you man. My aggression is definitely stemming from frustration with her, and every day wondering if she’ll flip and be mad at me for something. I’ve tried talking about stuff when we’re getting along well, and laying out what I’ll do on my end, but inevitably she just gets mad again. And it keeps bringing out the worst in me. Never in my life have I been so constantly angry, and even the last couple days without her I’ve been much more excited to be at work, pleasant with friends, etc.
I give her some slack on the taking advantage part because when I was younger, I had a lot of trouble getting a job for a few years, and was dependent on my family for support - and I didn’t even realize how draining it was to them. So I understand how she feels to a degree. But it’s reached a point where I’m picking up side work on the weekend just to cover everything.
Even when I wasn’t really drinking (like if I don’t for a month), we still have the same problems over and over. My past relationships (except one early in college) have all been really positive, even the short term ones, and I actually drank regularly back then.
One of the breaking points too…my friends have a weekend cabin party thing coming up, and they excitedly asked me to come. Later found out there was a whole discussion about if she should be invited as well. Guess they really want me around but fear if she’s there we’ll just be fighting and upsetting other people. I heard that and was like wow - my relationship has become the talk of my friends, that’s bad.
I’m curious now if the drinking will subside now without the stress of the relationship.
