Shit happens, you don’t exhale properly 1 time and wham VEINS BULGIN OUT YER ANUS.
Worst thing is it seems like them come back easier, so avoid getting one the first time and you’re set. And it really is the itching that is worse than the pain. The pain is only bad for the first few days, then its just extremely itchy. Sort of like someone is scraping inside your anus with some fiberglass insulation.
I can’t really say that this prevents haemorrhoids, but there should be a bidet in every toilet. “Wipe, wipe and go” is simply not hygienic enough.
Hemorrhoids are a result of the Toilet Industrial Complex.
I recommend Lillipad Squatting Platform
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Ironically, one of the only times I have ever had a ‘one wipe wonder’ as I call them was during a stay in NYC after a couple of days of eating out in cheap eateries. Definitely NOT unprocessed and healthy, lol.
[/quote]
That is weird.
All I know is that when I rid my diet of all processed foods I only wipe out of habit and not because I need to. My environmental/green side almost wants to put the paper back on the roll.
And yes, you do feel like the world is a better place afterward.
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
Tyrant wrote:
lol mac your getting a little too excited about it. I’ve had them on probably 4 seperate occasions. 3 of them were before I joined the Marine Corps and I couldn’t do pull ups but well, I pulled to hard something had to give, and it sure as hell wasn’t my body going up. Anyway, I actually have one now from deadlifting 415 the other week for a new PR.
Anyway, they arn’t a big deal, if they hurt then just take hot baths and let it soak, use some cream, but mine don’t really hurt (thank god)
WHAT!?!?!?
you got them from doing pullups!?!?!?
yes your right, i won’t get excited over BULDGING VEINS IN MY A-HOLE.
holy shit. i am well on my way to having the worst night ever[/quote]
lol, not like going regular pullups mac. Imagine hopping up on a bar, and with all your might pulling, I’m talking full body pulling, and you don’t move a goddamn millimeter. Sorta like getting under the bench, loading it too heavy, having it drop on your chest and you push and push and fucking push, and that bar just laughs at you. that sort of pulling. I certainly wouldn’t get them now that I can crank out pullups easily. But that deadlift, ugh.
[quote]cyruseven75 wrote:
have you ever read so long on the can that both legs fall dead asleep and upon standing you almost fall over?
me neither. [/quote]
We always called this “shithouse polio.”
If you have hemmroids, I suggest you take card of them. I have known people who had to have surgery to remove them, and if you think having them sucks, imagine having to have them cut off. Don’t push too hard when you shit, just let it happen. Besides you can’t rush a good thing. Diet of course is important. This has been a very funny thread.
[quote]cyruseven75 wrote:
i had a friend who always said he just wiped twice. he didn’t check, he said, “that’s gross, checking.” Two good wipes and he was out always. Honestly, who doesn’t check?
Clarification: this was a guy i knew not a close friend.
You know what i really like, shitting clean the miracle shit, you wipe but the paper stays brilliant white even on the very first pass!
Post number 500 is brilliant, i gotta shit and then eat![/quote]
So what happens when this guy goes out and has curry chicken. Then has the greasy muddy runs. The kind where the TP is waterlogged and does nothing but spread the mess. Does he really just give his cornhole only 1 more wipe and not check? Honestly? That smelly fucker
Didn’t read through the whole thread, but here’s my 0.02$ on 'roids:
-some people just have a predisposition for this kind of thing, so that even good eating and recreational habits can still lead to 'roids
-avoid the need for strong pressing
=> eat enough fiber
=> drink enough (if having trouble taking a poop in the morning, drink something warm; tap water suffices)
=> decrease sphincter tone (insert gay joke here)
Vasoconstrictor use can lead to 'roids. I often had 'em while using ECA in the past.
As far as treatment goes: forget those funny unguents/salves. If there’s bright blood on your poo, get to a doctor, prefereably a gastroenterologist. There are different methods to help you get rid of 'roids, none of them comfortable. For starters, I had sklerotherapy in the past. That’s where the doc rams a rod up your chute and kinda close-glues the burst roid by applying short heat bursts about 180 degrees Celsius.
Don’t worry, though: the 'roids themselves aren’t innervated, AFAIK. At least there’s no pain from the heat. But definitely awkward sitting in that chair spreading your legs and shoving your ass forward. But better than the debilitating pain. Besides: the doc sees lots of ass in his/her usual workday, so it’s rather likely your ass won’t stand out. LOL
This is worth taking to get Mr. Hanky flowing again: Lactulose - Wikipedia
Less pressure needed equals improved healing of your sorry ass.
This thread was both disgusting and hilarious at the same time. I am legitimately scared now of going for a deadlift or squat Pr, plus I shit a lot as well from eating a lot. I won’t be able to not think about this thread now when I am taking a shit and wiping thanks assholes.
seriously guys, eat your fibre and try and wash your anus after shitting as often as possible.
[quote]BurnMyEyes wrote:
This thread was both disgusting and hilarious at the same time. I am legitimately scared now of going for a deadlift or squat Pr, plus I shit a lot as well from eating a lot. I won’t be able to not think about this thread now when I am taking a shit and wiping thanks assholes.[/quote]
great success!
I’ve just read this entire thread while chomping down almost a pound of ground beef, corn, beans, and chiles.
I’ve had the 'roids. No fun.
i still don’t have hemorrhoids.
if anyone was still curious
shit i thought you were going to report you’ve switched over to the dark side.
