So, I said to myself last night as I entered the gym, “Self, I’m going to have an awesome session today. It’s going to be uninterrupted by drivel and none-sense. It’s going to be great!”
Boy, was myself wrong.
There I was, doing floor press. Isn’t that how all the stories start? Anyways, this guy, who apparently doesn’t realize what earbuds are, or why there’s a cord going into my pocket that’s attached to some sort of electronic gizmo, says to me, “I’ve never seen anyone do it like that before.”
I smile and nod, take out my gadget and “change the song” ie make it known that I don’t want to talk as I’m trying to work out. Well, this guy, must’ve said to himself, “Self, this guy doing those things on the floor must be lonely and wants to chit chat about nothing in particular.” I say that he said that because that’s exactly what he did. He’s starts talking to me about the gyms in Boston he’s worked out at.
The crazy part was I was doing a set while he’s talking to me. With my earbuds in. He’s standing there. Hands in his pockets, smile on his face, reminiscing about days past, while I’m doing my sets of floor press. Fucking crazy.
So, I say to myself, “Self, this guy must be lonely and wants to chit chat about nothing in particular.” And boy was I right. I finished my sets of floor press and proceed to LEAVE THE AREA cordially. I say, “Nice talking to ya.” and leave.
Apparently, this guys said to himself, “Self, it’s obvious to me that I should follow him to wherever he’s going to talk to him more about me working construction.” Because that’s what he did.
I went ACROSS THE GYM to the cable machines to do a few sets of triceps, all the while listening to Wolfmother, with my ear buds in, yet there he was, hands in pockets, smile on face, talking to someone who’s not listening, obviously not interested, about construction.
Finally, I said to myself, “Self, I have to tell this guy to go away. He’s kind of annoying me.” So I said to the guy, “What’s your name?”
He says in an accent of someone who immigrated here long enough ago to speak English well, yet not long enough not to have an accent from whatever European country he’s from, “Tony.”
“Hi Tony, I’m Jared. Tony, I’m going to finish my workout now, I’ll talk to you later.”
Now, you’d think that was sufficient for him to go about his business and leave me the hell alone. Nope. He must’ve said to himself, “Self, I think I’m going to stick around a little longer and keep my hands warm and make sure he’s ok and safe before I mosey on to bug somebody else.” Because that’s what he did. He stood there, hands in pockets, same dumb smile on his face, through two sets. Not speaking. And finally said, “Nice talking to you, Jared” and went away.
I saw him, immediately after I was done with my set, talking to someone else on a hammer strength bench station (so the guy was cornered) with their ear buds in and a rather annoyed look on their face. I just kept my gaze on the dumbbell rack and kept my distance as I past.
Fucking Jabronies
