So I found myself in a slightly new situation in the gym earlier today. People use horrible form on exercises all the time, but you can tell they’re cheating for more weight or something equally ego-inflating.
Today, however, there was a woman, likely a mother trying to lose some baby weight or just trying to get back in shape after letting herself go for a bit. I was grabbing a cleaner bottle to wipe down my bench and saw her in the Yoga studio doing what looked like Romanian Deadlifts, although her back seemed to be a little rounded from the 2 seconds I saw her. Later on, she was doing some standing dumbbell curls and was throwing her whole body into it which seemed to be because she was just trying to go fast to me.
I had thought about giving her a little advice to help her get a better bang from her workout, since these were probably all little things that the trainer that likely wrote up her workout never mentioned. In the end, I didn’t say anything but felt kinda bad because while the curl thing might not be too horrible, the rounded back thing could be harmful even at lower weights.
Anyway, what do you guys think as far as helping innocently ignorant people in the gym?
I think its probably fine, its sometimes hard to tell exactly who will be receptive to constructive criticism, but if you truly think that something is a safety issue with a REALLY inexperienced person then I would defiantly have tried to help for a few seconds.
Nope. Not a chance. Not unless someone asks me a question.
For starters, mostly people just don’t want to be bothered even if you mean well.
And also I am there to work my ass off, to get big, to push myself… not to help people.
Not that I would mind or anything. It would be a nice thing to do, and I like doing nice things. Like you said there are plenty of people who could use a nudge in the right direction here and there.
But that just doesn’t work in the gym for some reason.
The men are too busy pretending/ believing that they know everything. Of course they will never listen.
And the women… lol don’t even think about it. If you even so much as innocently glance in their general direction they think your a stalker psycho or your about to try and bust out some greasy pick up line.
Generally speaking its usually a good idea to focus on what your doing, and not worry about other people’s shit.
I’m not usually in a position to give advice, but sometimes a situation just calls out for it – e.g., a young kid’s first day in the gym and the personal trainer teaches him to “bench” going only halfway down to his chest. If somebody doesn’t mention it, he’s going to regret it one day.
I’ve always tried to take advice spontaneously offered, and in most cases the random gym guy was right. But some people might not have that attitude.
Last time I tried to help a girl out, she freaked the hell out like I was a rapist. Said something to the effect of creepy, weird guy…something. I couldn’t argue, I remember that.
So, no. Unless I’m specifically asked for help, and I happen to be in a good mood, I will not help anyone in the gym.
1 caveat: Immediate injury/death may occur? Yeah, I’ll go ahead and step in.
In the 20 + yrs ive been training both myself and others through either personal experiance or through witnessing other do it I have to say good experiances with trying to offer constructive advice just doesnt go over well. And very often can lead to a shouting pissing match as if you propositioned sex or something. Seriously I think it is a shame but generally things having to do with one’s body or strength people are generally so hypersensitive it can go south very quickly.
I still on the rarest occasion will volunteer help but usualy just wait till Im asked or as one poster mentioned if its woefully obvious someone is lost I may segway into a conversation then wind up helping but for the most part its very touchy.
Once a was training a female client who was a fitness competitor and it was very obvious that we were engaged in a trainer client type relationship and my client points out a woman who was trying to use a tricep extension machine the type where you sit with your elbos on a pad and grip two vertical handles and extend you arms by gripping and pushing against the two handles this woman had the handles hanging down and was pulling them from below and looking puzzled as to what she was supposed to be doing I steared clear using the fact I was working with a client as a cover cause I didnt need or want any shit from this woman and I could just feel it coming. Well my client keeps urging me to say something she was having a self imposed pit party I guess and was willing to interupt her session, I reccomended she help her instead but she wound up prodding me into it and I swear youd think I asked the woman to perform a sex act on me she got up from the machine screaming and yelling sqquirted me with her water bottle asked the proverbial so what you think Im stupid type of thing and damn near hit me she also picked up on my pumped up self and started throwing steroid related epitaths around etc.
So after I accepted the hugs and kisses from the fitness girl I was working with and listening to her apologize to me for getting me involved in that mess I had the woman thrown out of the gym but Damn!
So do what you want good intention aside its a risk play your cards carefully if you think you just gotta involve yourself.
In the 20 + yrs ive been training both myself and others through either personal experiance or through witnessing other do it I have to say good experiances with trying to offer constructive advice just doesnt go over well. And very often can lead to a shouting pissing match as if you propositioned sex or something. Seriously I think it is a shame but generally things having to do with one’s body or strength people are generally so hypersensitive it can go south very quickly.
I still on the rarest occasion will volunteer help but usualy just wait till Im asked or as one poster mentioned if its woefully obvious someone is lost I may segway into a conversation then wind up helping but for the most part its very touchy.
Once a was training a female client who was a fitness competitor and it was very obvious that we were engaged in a trainer client type relationship and my client points out a woman who was trying to use a tricep extension machine the type where you sit with your elbos on a pad and grip two vertical handles and extend you arms by gripping and pushing against the two handles this woman had the handles hanging down and was pulling them from below and looking puzzled as to what she was supposed to be doing I steared clear using the fact I was working with a client as a cover cause I didnt need or want any shit from this woman and I could just feel it coming. Well my client keeps urging me to say something she was having a self imposed pit party I guess and was willing to interupt her session, I reccomended she help her instead but she wound up prodding me into it and I swear youd think I asked the woman to perform a sex act on me she got up from the machine screaming and yelling sqquirted me with her water bottle asked the proverbial so what you think Im stupid type of thing and damn near hit me she also picked up on my pumped up self and started throwing steroid related epitaths around etc.
So after I accepted the hugs and kisses from the fitness girl I was working with and listening to her apologize to me for getting me involved in that mess I had the woman thrown out of the gym but Damn!
So do what you want good intention aside its a risk play your cards carefully if you think you just gotta involve yourself.
I am still depressed beacause of the epic cockblock happening to Holymac’s, so out of repect for him and the rest of us at T-Nation, I think you know what to do…
[quote]Bodyguard wrote:
I swear youd think I asked the woman to perform a sex act on me she got up from the machine screaming and yelling sqquirted me with her water bottle asked the proverbial so what you think Im stupid type of thing and damn near hit me she also picked up on my pumped up self and started throwing steroid related epitaths around etc.
[/quote]
[quote]Mad HORSE wrote:
Last time I tried to help a girl out, she freaked the hell out like I was a rapist. Said something to the effect of creepy, weird guy…something. I couldn’t argue, I remember that.
[/quote]
I saw a middle aged lady doing cable tricep pushdowns with such bad form, I just shook my head an walked away. I had never seen her before, and I don’t think you can hurt yourself doing those anyway, so whatever.
But when I saw a tall, lanky 20 year old, who I see fairly often, deadlifting with a freighteningly rounded back, I had to say something. I started with “can I give you some unsolicited advice?” After I finished, he thanked me.
really? when i approach girls to talk to them, they either swoon and wanna touch my arms, or freak out and tell me not to kill them and rape their dead body.
you try being over 230lbs and talking to tiny college girls in the gym while u’re sweating profusely, beet red, and wearing a shirt that says ‘alone and insane’ on it.
I suggested to a lady at GNC the other day that she not buy NO2, all I said was “don’t waste your money”, she gave me a look like I grabbed her tit. Go ahead, drop $65 on that shit, I don’t care.
really? when i approach girls to talk to them, they either swoon and wanna touch my arms, or freak out and tell me not to kill them and rape their dead body.
you try being over 230lbs and talking to tiny college girls in the gym while u’re sweating profusely, beet red, and wearing a shirt that says ‘alone and insane’ on it.[/quote]
Girls dont even acknowledge my existence, so I assume that means they also dont want my help nor do they want me talking to them period. I usually dont even get replies when I just say “hi” as Im walking by. I assumed its because, like you, Im usually sweaty and beat down during and after my workouts, but then I realized girls instantly recognize you if you wear sleeveless shirts. I usually where a big t-shirt, but the minute I wear a sleeveless shirts I magically appear to girls. They must be incapable of recognizing muscular guys unless their arms are totally exposed. Either that or I just need to be 230 like you, and not 195…
my gf is like 110 at the most. when im out with her i get dirty looks like im a child melester.
people expect so much more out of you if you look older than you really are
[quote]im kenny wrote:
my gf is like 110 at the most. when im out with her i get dirty looks like im a child melester.
people expect so much more out of you if you look older than you really are[/quote]
I had the same thing with my ex. I have a full beard, too, so I looked way older than her.
As far as the original topic:
I don’t offer advice unless someone’s about to hurt themselves, at that point it’s your duty as someone who knows how to do shit to let them know that what they’re about to do could cause bodily injury.
If they still want to you, at least you warned them.