I feel like you’re intentionally ignoring the meaning of groupthink to twist context in an attempt to……what exactly?
But if I’m misreading you, will you please rephrase the question? It’s hard to decipher what you’re actually asking as is. Are you passive aggressively assuming/accusing use of the word or is the context of the question actually confusing you?
I mean if you’re really asking flat out why the word is used, it is typically when two black people are acknowledging each other, or as an insult. Either by black people or other races. Sticking to the hard r context, it’s an insult. From what I’ve seen, when it’s used as a greeting between black people, the hard r is dropped and the e becomes an A.
Is it off limits for white audience members to sing along to a song that has the word ‘‘nigga’’ in a rap concert in the United States? 'Cause that seems a little stupid imo.
Yeah, like Louis CK once said, when someone writes or says “The N-word”, all they’re doing is make you say Nigger in your head. Why not just say it then? We all know which word we’re talking about.
Yeah I agree but it still begs the rules for thee and not for me. Either nobody should say it or it’s free game. ‘R’ or ‘A’. As a white person if I said “My nigga” to one of my friend that’s a POC it wouldn’t go well. Yet I can listen to The Weeknd and half his songs have the word in it. I like his music but sometimes I have to be careful when choosing his station at the gym Spotify selector.
I understand the word groupthink. Do you? Because you seem to think buzzwords are all you need to describe your own personal thought processes and meaning. Woke! Cancel! Groupthink! Do you know what these words mean to you?
So I’m not asking what the group thinks - in fact you really don’t know, as the group is a collection of individuals guessing at the thoughts and motives of others in the group. I’m also not asking about hiphop culture. I have access to music and the word is well represented on my workout playlists. I’m not asking about its use among black people. You are white, no? As are most of the people in this thread.
So my question - and I’m boggled as to your confusion regarding my intent - is this: being someone who feels that the word should not be canceled, and being someone who opposes groupthink’s influence, and acknowledging that you may be looking to protect only one variation of the word (nigger vs nigga)…
Simply: How do you personally use the word?
Restated: What is the word’s value to you?
I love language. I love words - all of them. I once had a nick on my shin that kept getting recut when I shaved my legs. I had to finally avoid that area long enough for it to heal, and I was prone to announce to one and all during that lengthy process “and now I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my leg!” I swear for dramatic flair and humor, to denote intensity of feeling, generally anger or frustration, etc. Fuck is a good one for that. I swear at work, with both coworkers and patients, depending on their presentation. Because I hear a lot of dismaying stuff, “wtf?” comes up.
The difference between fuck and nigga/er is that fuck has no history of degradation. Of ownership over another human being. When I think of the history of black people in America, I envision the slave market. Women paraded naked across a stage for men who want to purchase someone that they can rape and rape and rape without consequence. I see men in their prime being poked and prodded and being forced to show their healthy teeth, like a horse. It makes my heart ache, for the people who endured this and for the people whose history this represents.The shame they must feel over it!
For me, “first, do no harm” is a good approach to life. Fuck may offend someone because it’s a “bad” word, but I don’t feel that I owe any debt of decency to an issue that the offended could probably not define. If you can give me a clear rationale for extinguishing the word, show me the pain fuck has the power to cause, I’ll stop using that, too. Same with motherfucker. What are we talking about here? The dad who fucked the mom? A mother-preferring rapist? Like, lol what? So I feel no qualm with its use, though I’m circumspect about using it in “mixed company,” by which I mean people who seem more innocent than I or who are old or maybe are just unfamiliar. My husband doesn’t swear much, so I reduce it around him. I guess the “hill not worth dying on” you mentioned in your first post (good way to put it, by the way).
Oh, I have no problem with insulting someone else! I just don’t use slurs or swears to do it. Generally the most insulting thing I do is to simply tell the truth as I see it, and I pretty much only do this when people are being mean. I try to stomp out asshole-ism where I see it.
If a friend is angry about his wife and says she’s being a real bitch and you agree and tell him his wife is a bitch, you think he’ll be ok with that? When he’s about to punch you in the brain are you going to say since he said it, it’s free game?
There is nothing to be ashamed of in what I mentioned. The people who hurt others and deny them any sense of dignity are the ones who should feel shame. In the case of slavery, regardless of when it happened, where it happened, or to whom it happened, the enslavers bear that shame. When it comes to America, those enslavers have all borne that shame when they met their makers. Sometimes the past is better left dead.
The better question to ask is why we don’t hear other racial slurs used by other groups or against them in the same volume as the n word. Success leaves clues.
I think that’s apples and oranges. The word bitch can be said without directional context and it’s simply considered in poor taste at worst. I’ve heard it used by almost every gender/color etc without severe negative blowback. I never implied it ok to call anybody derogatory names with malice.
For example if I said @zecarlo ”you’re a real bitch”. You would take offense but I wouldn’t likely lose my job or be considered hateful. I may suffer consequences from you but not societal. However if I said @zecarlo ”life’s a bitch” you would be like “amen brother”. In either scenario I could not use the “N” word in question as direct insult or slang conversation without severe taboo like blowback. Jobs lost, cancel culture etc.
Does that explain it better?
PS. Also, anybody who is my true friend would say. “Not cool”, but never threaten or punch me. Why is everybody so quick to violence on this forum?
I was avoiding this thread as a white guy who spent a lot of time in the American south.
But there is a difference behind profanity and malice. For instance, In my line of work profanity is wielded like a paintbrush. “I will rape you up, down, and sideways.” “Motherfucker, with your tiny cock titties.” “I’ll kick-fuck you like a soccer ball.” “Are you just a fucking retard, or were you born this way?”
But there is one word that means you’re serious. Asshole. When someone says that, you know its not just banter but serious. The whole line gets quiet to see what will happen next. Asshole is probably one of the least offensive swear words, but in that context, It changes.
And that’s the thing. Each social circle has it’s own language. I’d never share work talk to my family, and there is no reason for me to feel that because I shouldn’t use another word in another context, I’m somehow being discriminated against.
My life isn’t diminished because someone says “Don’t say that.”
I agree here but where does it stop. What’s next? The problem I personally have it the latest trend of “think like me” or it’s NOT OK. It’s now spreading to words, pronouns, etc.
I’m pretty happy to let other people make decisisions for themselves. The whole “My rights end where yours begin,” attitude. I’d like people to call me by the name I choose, pronouns, and not insults, so I extend that to others as well.
How do they know what you prefer upon meeting them? Scratch that, I didn’t post to get in a debate over my opinion. I posted to the OP.
I prefer freedom speech especially when one has good intentions (ie calling someone the wrong pronoun unintentionally). But we are deviating from the topic at hand. I’m also ok with you feeling the way you feel. That’s what’s important … freedom.
I think the responsibility is on the individual to let the other people know. Then the other party to respect it. How can some one be expected to know if it’s not clearly specified?
I agree that mistakes shouldn’t be treated as an apocalyptic event, and people should give each other leeway.
I’m skeptical of the slippery-slope argument, but 100% agree about freedom.
Sorry, bad clarification on my part. My statements were kind of reverse order of yours. Meaning I don’t care to continue debating or answering questions such as …
Agree with me or not I was implying many statements are made in absolutes rather than “I think” or “my opinion”. Whereas I am trying to clarify that this is the way “I think” only. I’m probably still doing a bad job explaining but I’m rushed today yet addicted to this forum.
I knew I should have been a chef. Or at least really good cook.
A lot of guys I’ve worked with have really short fuses. Like, you can talk shit, but its at your own risk cuz between psych meds, amphetamines, and any number of street drugs on board- some guys go from talking smack to trying to go upside your head with what ever is handy like a hammer, knife, pipe or a nice piece of flatbar with absolutely no warning.
