The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
You literally referenced yourself and your sister multiple times in your post above. Hahahahaha.
Sure thing … they’re the bee’s knees mang
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Seems like people keep trying to do that, but it ruffles some feathers. Weird, huh? You’d think happy posts would make people happy.
But I think we should do the happiest thing about our marriages. There’s a lot to choose from for me (the laughter!) but I think I’d have to say going to sleep snuggled up. It just feels so good. (I do live where it’s cold, lol.)
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Well, the discussion on a happy topic involves how to have or get something happy, which, as I’ve said, is hard for many to do these days.
Recent article:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/09/half-of-british-women-have-poor-sexual-health-nhs
Does this sound happy?
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@EmilyQ I think celebrations of happy relationships are nice, but I also think there’s a place to discuss what makes relationships happy. Like @BrickHead says, many people seem to find happy relationships difficult in the modern world. As @anon50325502 said relationships need work, and any discussion around how to achieve that is useful and valid.
We don’t need episode 6 of the greenboy show. We’ve done it, let’s move on.
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Happy relationships are fakenews. Everyone is miserable. EVERYONE!
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I’ve been with my wife for almost 30 years. Now the prequal is out of the way here’s the things I’ve noticed about being in a successful relationship for that amount of time.
In the beginning its all consuming. Its fun, passion, love, fear, jealousy, anger, fights and pretence. Not in that order. Eventually the tumult of the early relationship eases and things settle down. You advance your career and maybe have children and life gets busy serving those things. You share so much with your other half in this period, things like illness, bereavement, all sorts of life. You’ll still fight, you’re human. You’ll ask yourself many times if this is right for you, if you should strike out on another path but you don’t.
Eventually the fights stop, the passion is less and you end up with a deep love, caring and respect for your other half. You have a pride in your relationship because you’ve endured. Things don’t need to be said, they are known, although people still like to hear them. You share, wholeheartedly. I don’t mean a pizza either. It takes many years of life to get to this point.
I think most relationships fail because people have unrealistic expectations of each other and the relationship. Ego gets in the way and people put themselves first. They expect the relationship to make them happy which is a bit silly.
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Beautifully said.
The best thing I’ve heard recently was on a podcast where a psychologist said something like you needed 3 aspects to make a relationship work.
- Love
- Attraction
- Compatibility
People think love is the hardest thing to come by, but it’s not, it is the easiest. I think this has been my problem. I’ve loved a lot, but having the other two coincide with it has been difficult.
I find myself posting on here a lot when I’m procrastinating. Procrastination is a fucking disease and I am plagued with it. I wish they knew what gene or chemical caused this because it is definitely the number 1 detriment to my life. I use to combat it with speed, lots of speed, but that’s not healthy.
Yea, so I agree lets’ not make this about me. Let’s stay on topic and I will be posting less for the next two months.
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Hey look, we have something in common. You just might be a non-troll human yet…
All joking aside, I used to be a much worse procrastinator than I am now. It still has its grubby little hooks in me for sure, but they’re not as sharp as they used to be.
It takes a lot of effort and planning to slay that demon my man. A lot of self discipline (which is just forming good habits in lieu of the bad ones … i.e. procrastination), determination and self-control. It ain’t easy by a long shot and I’m not trying to say it’s a switch one can flip. It ain’t.
I tend to post on here in between tasks (even that’s a bad habit which I indulge which doesn’t help…I get carried away from time to time … sensing you do too) but I make it a point to accomplish my biggest tasks/goals before I even think of posting on any site/anything other than whatever productivity goals I have.
It’s an uphill battle, but if you set aside some time to plan out your work day in a constructive manner, make note of your triggers (i.e. things that make you want to procrastinate … i.e. make shit posts on a bodybuilding website) and take active steps to avoid them for some period of time longer than you’re used to…eventually procrastination time starts to wane while productivity time takes its place…
Anyways, that’s my 50,000 foot advice - this is something I’ve struggle with for years and years and have taken the time to read about, research, and execute some methods that have measurably helped. Hope it doesn’t fall of deaf ears…
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Another procrastinator here. In fact, for a long time (not recently, happily) if you saw me on TN, it probably meant I was half-assing or avoiding my workouts. TN always offered a double-edged sword during those times; stuff to read that motivates me, but also trainwreck time-suck threads.
A marriage counselor I saw during my first marriage said something similar. He said that a healthy marriage is a triangle with three points:
- Passionate Love
- Companionate Love (the friendship piece)
- Committed Love
He noted that relationships can limp along on any two of the three, and some get by on commitment alone, but a satisfying marriage requires all three. In my personal and observed experience, he was right. “Love” is too vague a term to have much meaning, so you have to find the components.
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I’ve always had those salesmen type buddies talk about the 5am wakeup time will change your life bleh bleh bleh.
Maybe it will. Maybe waking up at 5am will allow me ample amounts of time to procrastinate while also getting everything productive I need to do done.
I’m not a morning person though, I’m a night owl. But night owling gets troubling when you have to get stuff done and then you are wired at night and can’t sleep.
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It comes down to the choices you make. Do I procrastinate, or do I structure my time to get done what I want/need to in an effective manner. It’s all up to you, take it or leave it.
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I was going to procrastinate today - but I decided to put it off until tomorrow~
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Victory through paradox!
That’s how I treat rest days 
Personally, I complete tasks way early because procrastinating stresses me out
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Typically I’ll plan out my weekend something like:
Friday Night
-Do dishes, especially meal prep oriented ones
-Clean Kitchen
-Fully change and clean cat litter
Saturday:
Grocery shopping
Clean house
Do laundry
Sunday:
Meal Prep
What Actually Happens:
Friday:
-Go way too hard on deadlift.
-Die
Saturday
-wake up early on the couch with videos about string theory repeating on YouTube (?)
-Panic
-Do everything I planned on spreading out over the weekend.
-Get done around 2pm.
-Have nervous energy and find some overwhelming, but extremely unnecessary task to tackle that takes the majority of my day. Anything from scrubbing base boards in my bathroom, to fixing something that I have no business working on.
-Stay up way to late Saturday night because i feel like i didnt give myself any free time
Sunday:
-be a lazy piece of shit.
It’s like… my immediate procrastination leads to gross over achievement and nervous energy
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Almost as if you go into a manic state…
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