And I know an adult man who burps and farts freely in rooms full of people. What do you make of it? Are men growing less and less courteous?
If you like the way you live and don’t want it pointed out that you can make changes, why be upset about the awful women you meet? If it’s fine, it’s fine. How is it chest-thumping to say we encounter happy men and happy women? Why shouldn’t we report what we see and experience when you’re describing the view from you?
Also, I think both my husband and I would self-congratulate if we made the other a peanut butter sandwich on an at-home day (as opposed to me packing a cooler with sandwiches while he loads the canoe onto the car, or whatever). We’re more like “want a peanut butter sandwich?” and then maybe get a second paper plate out and offer a drink while we have the fridge open. We stand side by side to make the sandwiches, then go sit down and eat together. He’s done a lot of nice things for me (major plumbing included) but I really can’t see anything wrong with what we’re doing sandwich-wise, since we both seem so content with it. Not trying to chest thump - it’s not a brag thing to say “here’s how PB sandwiches are at my house,” it’s just neutral. Nothing wrong with making one for someone else either, but does she owe him sandwiches for plumbing? Does she bring nothing else of value to the relationship to balance the scales?
I’m confused myself by the idea that the guy did the plumbing “for her” and not “because the plumbing in the house where they both live needed doing”. Touching back on the topic of happy relationships, I believe only bad things come from keeping score of the chores in a household and “who does their share”.
That’s really not the point though, the point is that the modern female thinks a pb&j sandwich is some type of culinary accomplishment that took serious effort and therefore demonstrated love and appreciation for his hard work .
Women put in so much less effort towards the men these days, in the U.S at least. They expect many things that they don’t themselves reciprocate. And we can talk about how this pertains only to immature women in their 20s, but that’s women in their prime isn’t it? Women in their mid 30s start to settle, don’t they? why? clock is ticking, and they start to look degraded compared to their male counterparts (in most cases).
So what the hell are men left with? Either succumb and bend the knee, or wait until your 30s? I guess? Yeah, there’s some very fortunate guys out there that started making good money in their young 20s, or come from family money, but for most men they won’t see real success until mid 30s the earliest, I think. I bring up money because it is the number 1 driver for males to find decent females in the United States. You can argue this until you’re blue in the face with me, I won’t change my opinion on that one. The United States is income driven, or even the perception of money, and women more so than any other female specimen on the planet. The power of money buys you the better females, and also compensates for their more likely than not lack of actual house wifing skills.
Let me go ahead and point out that my observations are based on coastal U.S areas so some of you in the middle of nowhere with women that appreciate a good man driving a trailer, where she wrestles wild bore too cook for him before he gets home don’t get all mad at me and claim I have a tainted viewpoint. Thanks.
Yes, because women now put a lot more effort into their own careers/success/fulfillment as compared to a few decades ago
Statistically, biologically and developmentally speaking, most men aren’t even fully mature until well into their 20s, so it makes perfect sense that they aren’t “as successful” or “ready” to start a family (honestly, I personally don’t understand why a man in his early 20s would want a family anyways)
Thank you Anna. These are actually legitimate responses.
Yes, because women now put a lot more effort into their own careers/success/fulfillment as compared to a few decades ago
I feel like this is a big component. Society has been pushing these women to be career oriented, and that is effecting their other areas of happiness. This is going to come off controversial but I don’t think women handle the work force very well. Their life/work balance gets thrown out of whack. There are some professions that work well or women, but a lot of the male driven ones are leaving women destroyed by mid 30s (I spoke about this in another thread and got ripped for it lol)
Statistically, biologically and developmentally speaking, most men aren’t even fully mature until well into their 20s, so it makes perfect sense that they aren’t “as successful” or “ready” to start a family (honestly, I personally don’t understand why a man in his early 20s would want a family anyways)
Absolutely but again, society is trying to punish older men for going younger. Why? Why should a man in his 30s not pursue a woman that is mid 20s? Did you see that recent Keanu Reeves hoolalala because he was dating some older woman closer to his age? As if this is something to applaud. Again, women seem like they want it all right now.
I wasn’t really talking to you, to be honest. We’ve had the conversation you want to have. I was just using your example as a jumping off point around the original topic on this thread: namely happy relationships. You know the thread specifically set up to get away from “The Greenboy Show” TM in another thread.
I’m by no means an expert, but I’ve been somewhat of an unofficial (100% unqualified) marriage consultant for my parents for the past 3 years. Here’s what I’ve gathered:
Don’t ever seek to “get even”
Take responsibility for your own shit- 10,000,000,000% easier said than done
Avoid making assumptions- How something is received by the other person matters much more than your intentions
Let bygones be bygones- don’t bring up mistakes made long in the past
KEEP ARGUMENTS ON TOPIC (refer to point 4)
Know when to shut up
Of course there’s also the cliche advice to communicate, make your partner feel special…
IDK if any of these are actually legit, just observations
Probably the hardest one for me, because I like to “win”.
If, in the heat of a moment, I have some clarity, I’ll ask myself “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”. If the answer is “right” I’m trying too hard and need to shut up. If the answer is “happy” then I’m also trying too hard and need to shut up.
I agree with this 100%. I think everyone focuses on the exact issue rather than alternative remedies that can carry over though.
My #1 rule in my relationships is NEVER yell. It can take some practice, but it’s easy enough. This basically puts a cap on how escalated any argument can get. It keeps everyone level. It allows both parties to have brief moments of silence and think, instead of having to immediately retort through anger. If the other party breaks this, I’ll completely shut down the argument, and one of us will leave. (Plus, it gives more weight when someone does have to raise their voice over a very serious matter, if by fiance were to raise her voice at me, I would immediately back pedal and try to find out why that happened. Still absolutely no yelling though)
#2 is: always ask if the other person needs some time to think. I dont care how absolutely wrong I am, if i come home from busting balls for 10 hours, and my fiance (or anyone) were to attack me at the door with questions, it would get really ugly. And I think this applies to everyone. Nothing productive comes from attacking someone, with 0 warning.
These 2 guidelines have a way of self resolving all of your points except for maybe #3. Generally an argument is brought up due to assumptions in the first place. Whether they’re right or wrong.
To be fair, many women are spread thin because of their work because of children abd the current need for dual incomes for middle class households, which leads to another topic altogether.
If someone works eight to ten hours, has an hour-plus commute, and then has to clean, cook, tend to kids, there’s not much room for doting over a man. This is what some people wanted though. Edit: I’m not sure why they wanted this.
I don’t think they knew what they wanted though. This is why I tend to come off conspiratorial to some people. I think society manipulated them into it. More people in the labor force = cheaper labor. The propaganda only seems to get worse now. The absolute push for ‘career’ above all else, about the women being equal to men, all of this shit comes from somewhere… my question is where? is it top down or bottom up? My hunch? It comes from elites.
We talked about this before right? but then doofuses in here decided to argue as if we’re in some type of alternate universe where wages have risen with inflation and the middle class hasn’t in fact shrunk to almost nothing in this the U.S.
I refer to a lot of the disagreements my wife and I have as “light bulbs vs. toilet paper”.
If we both went shopping separately and with no knowledge of the others actions we’d come back with the same a, b, c, and some variation of x, y, z. The only real differences would be that I get light bulbs and she gets toilet paper.
We’re 95% in agreement, and both right even on what we disagree about. It becomes more a matter of preference than priority.
