So my buddy asks me what I’m looking for in a woman. I tell him “Ah, Depends.”.
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I would agree but only for certain groups within the U.S. I would also wager that it’s dependent on the generation. You’re older than I am, and I would agree that perhaps the generation from which you come from, the number of women who should be continually active in their lives aren’t. Reasons due to societal stuff, cultural stuff, and personal stuff.
On the flip side, my generation, and the generation after mine, are for the most part, active. It’s hella rampant on YouTube, and Instagram. However there’s a caveat, as it also brings about a slew of very skewed expectations from both men and women of my generation.
So I’d say that both of these instances, what you brought forth, and the example I provided are both valid, and also all of the grey in between.
Again, I would say that’s dependent upon the generation and the expectations. Your point is still very valid, and does happen, but I’ll use my generation as a general example. While there’s plenty of people who will just accept whatever they can get, there’s also just as many who have this idealized expectation of what they think their partner should look like. I’m sure you’ve mentioned this I’m other threads but it again rings true for this. Guys my age(a fair amount of them) expect a woman to look like something straight out of a hentai piece. Giant boobs, extremely large backside, and a waistline that’s painfully tiny. Idealized face shape and features, perfect hair, as well as flawless skin. Women expect men to be perfectly muscular, shiny hair, strong to whatever relative degree, and any aesthetic feature they’ve also idealized. And it destroys any chance of either of them to be able to genuinely get to know and accept eachother.
I’m just mentioning this in terms of physical features and body shape, but there’s plenty of other things wrong on both sides, but again, that’s on one side. There’s plenty of folks in my generation and the younger generations who fall into the category of just being decent folks, being active, pursuing healthy relationships, etc.
I wouldn’t say it’s anything to do with elitism. Or not to a very large degree. But think about it in a historical way. Some time ago women weren’t thought of as all that smart, strong, or worthy of doing things that most men thought were important. I understand where the career oriented folks are coming from. And I understand where you’re coming from. However I think there’s a balance to be had, and an understanding of the dynamics within these types of subjects.
I don’t think anyone in the US should go to far off in either direction. Women shouldn’t be so career oriented that they disregard family and personal goals. Edit: So no one else misunderstands me, I meant the previous sentence under the circumstance where either individual has factors in their life (family oriented, kids, or another factor that would cause them to have seek balance concerning working), that would take away from being overly career oriented. But men (Those that do), shouldn’t shun a woman so much for wanting to pursue a career prone red style of living. Both should respect one another and learn to give in take. Married or not.
Again I will have to say that’s a generational thing. Nowadays women who were considered actually quote “10s” some time ago, now have to be like 100s lol. At least from what I’ve observed from my generation. My husbands younger brother is 16, and i got the pleasure of meeting his younger brothers girlfriend, and she was absolutely stunning, but I noticed she had her makeup done to the T. Lash extensions, makeup/contour, color contacts, lipstick, etc. My point is it seems that the expectations are actually rising higher, and it’s also continuing to influence much younger people as well.
I will say there’s both sides that exhibit toxic behaviors. Women equally get put on blast for it.
I do think a lot of it has to do with this generational gap. A lot of stuff the older generation notices makes sense, and does happen, but as you reach my generation (millineals), and the generation after us, societal trends change a bit.
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I actually have to subjectively disagree this, as well as the response that prompted it.
I think both sexes should be capable of absolutely whatever they want to achieve. If a chick wants to be independent, that’s great. If that involves being distant from family, that’s also fine. Same for dudes. While I’ll be the first to discuss my disdain towards feminists; I do truly believe in 100% equality.
There has to be some acceptance and some (very) mild change to make it work; however, a business and self success focused person should seek out someone who is interested in that life style. My fiance and myself are fairly independent, and to most people appear distant. Working loads of hours, spending money on ourselves, and honestly very little discussion about finances short of somebody being short and needing a little from the SO in order to pay a bill. If that’s what you prefer, it exists. While looks and sex are important (detrimental even) by far financial and general worldly views take top pedestal.
I’m fairly selfish, so I prefer my SO to be the same way. I like to spend my money on shit I want when I want, and i expect the other to do the same.
Theres always a balance, but the scales can be significantly different depending on the journey.
That’s what I was saying.
I was saying that portion under the premise of a family involving not just the partners but kids as well. I guess I should’ve put that somewhere. In which, yes there has to be balance.
I wasn’t really talking about couples where either partner is fine working a lot, or in your case where you and your partner like to spend money and generally be financially stable. That’s doesn’t mean I’m dismissing couples with that dynamic because it’s far too complex, and varies. As it should.
I probably didn’t include everything I should have, nor did I probably expand where I should have.
I was under the assumption that greenboy was talking about families involving kids. If he wasn’t, then that was my bad.
The portion where I mentioned “Respecting one another, Married or not”, I say that because, while it’s important to find someone with similar interests as you, sometimes were attracted to people who are polar opposites. Not to mention, people can, and often do change their goals. So I’m just suggesting we all respect one another.
When I say “shouldn’t go so far off in either direction” I’m hinting at towards the extreme sides, and again, was hinting at families where the needs of the kids now come into play. Not instances like yours that are very normal and for the most part, occur within lots of couples dynamics. Relationship wise, that is. And when I say extreme sides, I’m trying to describe instances where there just isn’t any balance within the relationship.
As far as the part you mentioned about becoming distant from family (concerning a woman), that’s up to the individual. However if they value familial relationships, that’s where I would again, suggest a balance of sorts. But still, I understand where you’re coming from.
Me saying what you’ve highlighted doesn’t mean I’m dismissing the plethora of grey area. I’m just trying to draw in stuff specifically towards greenboy, and the points he’s making, relative to his point of view because that’s the best way I know how to break even when discussing stuff like this.
Everything you’ve said is also very valid.
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Disdain towards feminists, or feminists who try to shove their own personal preferences down everyone’s throats?
I think that’s the problem many posters may have with @greenboy and, at times, @BrickHead. It’s not their observances - these are not arguable - it’s that they generalize broadly, believe that the opposition has seized power, and want systemic solutions. So, from my perspective, trying to push an agenda on me that’s connected to problems I don’t see as being societal, or even particularly common.
So it’s not his view on women, which who cares, really, but the radical nature of his posts. As with radical feminists, I don’t see a need for reform that seems based solely on some women’s chronic malcontentedness and their blaming of men for same. While I observe that some men want to keep me down, most men seem supportive of my right to have…rights.
All of which probably belongs in the Semantics thread, but there it is.
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Why do you think I keep posting about it? Gender stuff is interesting to me. It was long before you arrived. It’s not about you for me at all. It’s about a topic of interest firstly, and secondly I don’t like to leave what I consider harmful misinformation unchallenged for the sake of lurkers who may be forming their world views.
I’ve reacted the same way when women have posted negative sweeping generalizations about men on other boards over the years.
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I 100% agree with everything you said. I was speaking more broadly, where as you were honing in on greenboy. If there was a misunderstanding, it was mine.
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Absolutely referring to the radical end of the feminism spectrum. You’ll have to excuse the generalization, I was 3 sheets to the wind when I posted that last night. Generally I hate radical views in just about any context. Everything is grey, with extremely few exceptions, and people should always understand the other side.
I cant speak for Brick, I havent had a large amount of interactions with him, and hes come off pretty agreeable to me so far. Greenboy however, would definitely have his points come across more efficiently if he would remain calm (or could type in a less aggressive manner) and less absolute in his style. You can look at any thread and tell he will never change his opinion through discussion on a forum.
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And I think you don’t give the issue enough credit. I firmly believe, as plainly as I can say it, that women In the u.s, for the most part, are spoiled. They expect more than they give.
Yes, that is a broad statement, a generalizing statement, but I think outside of a few demographics, it holds true. My entire point of view is based on that premise.
What I don’t like to see is people take this and then make a personal judgement call on someone’s character - “you don’t get laid” or “you’re flawed, you need to fix yourself”
none of this applies here and that is why I get fucking annoyed with the chest beating. One, because it’s not true and has no function in the argument, and two even if it were true that still doesn’t fix the problem of women expecting more than what they give.
Quick anecdote - I’ve seen a girl think she was the bees knees because she made her guy a peanut butter jelly sandwich after he fixed her entire fucking house’s plumbing. Yeah, a measly peanut butter jelly sandwich. I’m just shocked at the female expectations these days…
Oh, I absolutely agree, he’s very measured in his responses and never impolite. I’m more talking about his shared sense that these are societal issues. He shares radical views. He’s not abrasive at all, though.
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Will respond later, have company coming and have to get ready.
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Truthfully man, I simply dont care for most women. I find them a bit abrasive, less cold and more emotionally charged up front; i find their priorities misaligned (at least with mine), and I find a good chunk (not most, mind you) of them simply adopt the personality of their most recent friend or SO.
*editing for a dynamic shift in my home town
(While I still stand by what I’ve said, I’m finding more and more emotionally charged men as well. My best friend has gone from being the rebel metal ragtag friend in high school, to this… emotionally driven new age of men. Which is wild, because we have, without exaggerating, spent more physical time together than any family or SO since we were… 13? We both come from broken homes with fucked up/dead mothers, and great fathers. You think our personalities would have evolved similarly, but they just didnt.)
I get along with them just fine, but in my head I find myself repeating what the absolute fuck
However, I dont think they’re spoiled as a general rule. I think your broad statement is just locally focused. Quite literally every chick I know, whether my friend personally, or an SO of a friend, work just as much as the man of the house. They pay their bills, they bust ass for their money, albeit in typically less labor focused employment; in general they could all support themselves just fine.
The women you’re referring to absolutely exist, and they’re insufferable, but I find them far and few between.
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That first half is so true, I agree. I’ve seen this. You seem to be pretty spot on, where you from?
When I mean spoiled, I don’t mean spoiled in the sense that there aren’t women that work hard. There definitely is. When I say spoiled I mean spoiled by relationships and the men they have to pick from.
I got into this in another thread a while back about how social media, especially dating apps, foster this behavior even further.
Just so you know, this is feminism. In it’s truest form. Feminists who promote female superiority are not feminists, they’re bastardizing the term. Feminism is about equality. The word is completely misunderstood and misused. Much like ‘liberal’ or ‘conservative’. People screaming at conservatives on campus and punching/kicking them/not allowing them to speak their minds because it offends their sensibilities aren’t liberals, and rednecks burning crosses in the forest behind the trailer park aren’t conservatives. They’re just assholes. They’re allllllll assholes.
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You are absolutely correct.
I tried to rectify it, but it seems I did a piss poor job. “Radical feminism” is the only way I can think to convey the portrayal of big snu snu women that want to totally rise above men and think were less than dirt just by association.
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No, you posted about it, I missed that somehow haha sorry!
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“Misandry” would be the best fit here.
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Vocabulary upgraded.
Also, a bit out of left field, but you are remarkably well read. All of your responses are measured and natural, and there doesnt seem to be much you dont have a snappy answer for.
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Much appreciated dude.
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