There was a woman in my cardiac rehab I felt terrible for. She came in and said that she probably wouldn’t stick it out because her husband thinks she’s faking it (a heart attack). Then she came in with bruises on her arms and limping.
A few weeks later with the side of her face swollen. No hiding that.
Then she just quit showing up.
And that’s fine, but you shouldn’t attack the individual all the time, as if that person is flawed simply because their experiences or beliefs are different than yours. I try not attacking most of you in here on a personal level because of internet fights.
I can’t agree with this. Even though, yes, there are times where the woman wants sex more than me (especially in the morning before work) but on average there’s no way women want sex more than men. I"m willing to bet my life on that one.
Again this shows your limited experience. Desire for sex waxes and wanes for most people throughout their life. It has never been a constant nor should it be.
If we are talking anecdotally from personal experience, there are periods in my marriage where my wife definitely desires more sex than me and vice-versa.
You complain about being attacked while the majority opinion here is explaining exactly why your opinions and limited observations don’t match reality. Then you double down on your own limitations and availability bias and ignore the combined experience of the group. That is what you get “hate”. (Not to mention your weird interactions with @EmilyQ who is still trying to help you see outside your box).
I don’t even know what to make of that.
The guy that came in swinging and telling everybody all about themselves ust said that.
I gotta go check my undies.
Internet fights are serious bidness.
Well for what it’s worth, I’ve done my best to converse with you in a respectful manner. While you have kind of tried to answer me, there’s been a few instances of you just not replying, and I’m legit wanting to discuss these things with you. As I Mostly understand your viewpoint, I’d appreciate if you understood mine as well.
You’ll notice that he doesn’t want an actual discussion or he’d reply to you/others that respond with openness. Really sticks to the guys who he can piss match with and whoever pops in to stoke the fire a little more.
Mmmm. Fair enough. I wouldn’t say that’s his entire motive though.
I know it seems were past this part of the discussion here (I’m late) but this is bewildering. I truly dont desire to make this sound like an attack, you get enough of that on here; but you are by far the most emotionally driven constant on this site. And far more so than most women I know. Most dudes bottle shit up and blow, most women appear to be much more up front. It’s not a difference in emotional capability, it’s a difference in the outlet. Even then, that’s a gross oversimplification and generalization.
Regarding the abstinence subject; I dont necessarily relate to my generation on all of the matter… but i do know that i have many friends and colleagues that have absolutely 0 interest in children. Maybe shitty upbringing? I’m not sure. Also, STDs are a plague it seems. I remember a friend of mine catching HPV, or “flairing” or whatever it’s called. People laughed and made fun of her. About 2 days later, there was like 20+ that had in some way been connected to her sexually, by proxy or personally. That was a big scare amongst the people I knew, and made everyone start taking their strange seriously.
Great post. There’s not many good replies to anything I discuss on here, but see that first point you made is accurate. I know that guys tend to bottle things up more, and women are ‘up front’ or how I like to think just constantly bitching lol.
See, that is a way to counter my points in a manner I’d actually have to consider and discuss but most of the regulars come back with the whole incel retort which gets boring.
You have and I think I reply to most of them but sometimes I get sidetracked…
The part about ethnicity, I’m assuming you’re black? Once I had a woman barber that was black and she pretty much echoed some of the things you have said and I do think culture does play a big role. Hence, if you followed me from other threads where I’ve said South American women are much better than American women…Of course this didn’t go over too well in here but I stand by it.
And I’d like to acknowledge that when a man is the one in the relationship that is off his rocker it’s probably much worse, just from the physical aspect it can be dangerous. So, yeah I definitely acknowledge that.
We’re still engaging with this guy? Okay. I’ll grab the popcorn.
@greenboy somehow, you still maintain an audience. It bewilders me, dude. I wish I had as many people interacting with me as you have speaking with you. But, hey, if they continue to engage, that’s on them. Lol. At this point, we all know what you stand for. I guess the difference between you and I is that I know I’ll never get married, but that’s because of anecdotal experience with my bitch of a mother (South American > American women ftw, right?) and not because of false information I’m spreading all over the site.
Well that’s where the mental divide lies. Let’s stick with stereotypes for a second, we have 3 ultimate outcomes:
The woman “nags and bitches” constantly, the dude deals with it day in and day out. He just finally has enough, and leaves.
The guy bottles all his shit up inside, for weeks, months, years, and finally goes full Hiroshima. The chick isnt going to take it, she leaves.
An infinite combination of the 2, self sabotaging the entire relationships from both ends of the same very short rope. Whoever has the worst final word, or whoever nuts up and leaves first, is the bad guy.
Bonus round, #4:
These are just stereotypes, and while the generally exist for some type of reason, they are by far not the majority, they just happen to take a small chunk of a very large graph.
Everyone comes with baggage.
I’ve watched 2 of my friends in a relationship, in the same room, both talking with me, tell me the truth, then lie about the exact same subject right to eachothers face.
I’ve seen my best friend and his SO try to get in a third party in the bedroom, then get so jealous of eachother that it completely nuked the entire relationship to the point of restraining orders.
I’ve seen a guy friend, hit his girlfriend, and, while I intervened, for the first and only time in my life thought “damn that chick literally asked for it” several days later after I had time to cool off.
I’ve dated a chick that I will say is THE stereotypical woman that you seem to describe.
I currently date a dude in a womans body, plays videogames, likes shitty 90’s action movies, and prefers to hole up in the house for weeks on end like me. Of which neither one of us have so much as raised our voice at eachother in going on 9 years.
MY POINT being that there are stereotypes, but 9/10 times, the story runs deeper, you’re more at fault than you think, it’s hardly ever 1 sided, and as a general rule, generalizations tend to REALLY piss women off. (Editing to point out the irony of generalizing how women hate being generalized, nice)
Play the field, if the sex is good, and all the time in between the sex is good, keep her. If she leaves, enjoy the game, because you do miss it a little when gone.
Saying that the desire for sex waxes and wanes isn’t spitting any type of obscure knowledge. Desire to eat chocolate waxes and wanes, everything fucking waxes and wanes between both sexes. But to say that a man, on average, enjoys ice cream and chocolate more than a woman is a bold statement. The burden of proof is on you to show me otherwise because outside of extremely obese men I’d be shocked to find out the contrary.
I don’t have any weird interactions with Emily. This is a false narrative. I talk to her the same way I talk to any other person in here that has attempted to engage with me by getting personal. Lately, she seems to have stopped though , so good for her.
And let me emphasize this further - I know there are women out there that probably want more sex than I do, I even dated one once. She wanted it all the time, it was kinda disturbing. I started to think that maybe she had a problem, and that god knows what she may be really into, or what she does if I’m not there.
But see those are OUTLIERS.
Yes I am. But, glad we can see eye to eye on that.
I have seen a great deal of your posts. In particular that one as well. While I don’t agree, I do understand. I take it you’re of South American ethnicity?
Only reason I say/ask that is because I find that that rings true for the majority of people of the same ethnicity. My brother comes to mind seeing you mention that. From his view, he finds African American/African women to be better. But again, he himself is also African American. But your viewpoint and opinions are your own. And you’re in right to them.
Although if you’re not South American, I do apologize for the assumption.
Me? Well… I find damn near every ethnicity of men to be attractive. (According to own my personal things that I find attractive in men, as well just how I’m “wired” so to speak.) But I’ve always been like that. Physical appearances do hold their weight, but only so much, and after that I tend to just want to know who the person is and what makes them who they are.
And to acknowledge your points, there very well is a large number of women who in general, can cause a lot of the issues in a marriage. Either from how they were raised, mental issues, trying to fit into some mold society deems “appropriate”, or even just being straight up immature. I think all of those things
can be, and are valid reasons for women seeming to be how you described as such:
But I think that’s on the behalf of women to come to terms with. It’s up to all of us to evaluate ourselves, and realize when we’re being out of line. I’d even go farther to echo what I said earlier and say that mold fits women who are for the most part, immature as hell. Men as well. Responding too deeply with ones emotions, illogical reasoning, throwing a fit, becoming unresponsive due to not having their way, etc. Big signs of just immaturity at its finest.
On the contrary, there’s still just as much a large number of women who can make logical choices, can compromise, can keep their emotions out of their decisions, and understand that they cant (Edit: can’t, definitely meant can’t) have everything they want, and can compromise. Men too.
And I think those folks should be who you associate with a bit more. May seem boring, but it’s a good way to get a view of how healthy and strong-based relationships should be working, or do their very best to work in a such a way.
I’m always the “my moms dead” guy at work, I’m not used to someone else bringing in the dark comments like you do. Loooove it.
He has this Evel Knievel revving up to jump the grand canyon on a steam roller quality to him.
It goes:
“vroom…”
“Dude, no…”
hits throttle, engages drive.
“Ok.If you’re gonna do it, try over here.”.
Veers over toward widest chasm
“just stop…”
Runs over cat, blames cats for being too flat.
Etc.
yeah, hmm, that is a rare find. I’ll admit.
Dusting off the Greatest Hits now are we? Go on, do “all women over 30 are fat and crazy” again, that’s sure to get a reaction.
No it’s not. You just disregard anything people say that’s positive as them “getting personal” and/or not being worldly enough to understand what’s out there in terms of “most people.”
Not to say that that particular girl is everywhere (but she sort of is, because lots of guys like @chaoshander have found one), but that “the right bestie for me” is out there. My husband was looking for someone who likes to be outside, who’s competitive and will play whatever over a couple of beers (darts, ping pong, situp contest), like his buddies do. Someone who’ll roll up sleeves for a home renovation, and someone who also likes sex as much as he does. He found me.
I have a close friend who’s been with her husband since their teens. In common they have that both sing semi-professionally (get paid for small gigs), but, like, nothing I’d ever go to except out of politeness. He’s a baritone. She’s a soprano. The music I like - rock, pop, rap - doesn’t use those designations. Anyway, he’s an AF officer and she happens to like fancy stuff. She decorates her house for fall, spring, and of course the holidays. Formal dinners, formal dress…they sing around the piano and he goes to her community theater - they match one another. They’re best friends and a happy couple, though at one time I know (because she complained) that there wasn’t enough sex for her. I assume it had to do with work pressures for him. She’s tended to work part time, and has not, I think, been as understanding of his grind as she could have been. But again, that seems to have gotten better.
I feel like I could just go on forever. People who match and ~gasp~ get along. Occasional flares of drama, then mutual expressions of regret because most healthy couples fight over stupid stuff. They align over the big stuff.
Even in my bad marriage there was limited craziness. We did not align over the big stuff - he’s a chronically unhappy guy who won’t figure out what to do about it and one of his coping mechanisms for feeling bad is spending money that he doesn’t have. “Where is all the money?” makes for a pretty big fight. He was/is also lacking libido. Doctor id’d low test and prescribed TRT, but it was too much hassle, so he stopped using it. That was probably the death knell of our marriage, though we limped along for a bit after. He was not a good friend to me, with a tendency to be dishonest and ill-tempered. He’s had maybe 4 relationships since, and none have lasted 6 months. There was the woman he moved to Taiwan to be with, whom he told me after a couple of months grossed him out, and “I haven’t touched her in weeks,” the “psycho” he met online, the fat one (he couldn’t touch her either after a bit because of it) (but the funny thing is that he’s pretty overweight now himself) and then lastly, what seemed to be the woman of his dreams - they met on Christmas, he moved in April 1st, and then broke up at the end of April. She’s a falling down drunk, turns out. All unfortunate things that happened to him, none of it his fault. A guy with IRS problems, a weight problem, a permanent scowl indent in his forehead, and a shitty, angry attitude about pretty much everything.
Here he is maybe two years before our separation, standing in front of my little Audi (just to clarify that we weren’t “wrecked” impoverished people). He’s probably close to 50 yrs old in this. Things have gotten worse and worse for him since our divorce, with breakups and job losses, while they’ve gotten better and better for me, leaving me stunned to realize the extent to which I must have stabilized him, given that the marriage lasted two decades. You’ll call this “getting personal,” but you should rather view it as evidence that other people are living in ways that contradict your experience. Most…actually ALL of my friends speak well of their husbands, even when angry at them. They are capable of balanced thought even when upset (logic). I work with both men and women trying to decide whether to stay or leave broken relationships, and while some of them externalize blame completely onto the other, as many take unreasonable responsibility for their problems. These people, too, match. Externalizing people tend to work well (for a while) with internalizing people.
