I promise that this is compelely hypothetical- I’m just entertaining my little crime fantasies. But suppose you have $25K-$50K of dirty money, and you want to get it in the bank. You’re just a regular guy with a job and you don’t have a bunch of fake companies to launder it through. You also don’t want to deal with any real criminals or anyone who enables them.
The best thing I can come up with is to start an ebay business or something similar and convert the cash into assets. Then, whip out the accounting fraud to leave a legitimate paper trail. For example, find a good deal on an item for $1000 (from a private seller), and pay half in cash and half by check, keeping the cash part under the table so that your bank records show that you bought the item for $500. Then just sell the item on ebay for it’s original $1000 or whatever you can get on it, and the money is in the bank. Repeat until you’re rich.
I’d rather snag myself a Ukranian mail-order wife and keep her under the fear of death/deportation, then have her open up a Swiss bank account and wire it in. Sure, it’s best to use someone like your brother/father, etc. That way you don’t legally share joint assets, but I just reeeally want a Ukranian wife.
If its just 25 to 50 k do you really need to launder it? why wouldnt you just deposit 3-5 k a month in the bank untill it was in? I would like to see some ideas though for larger amounts of money.
[quote]tmay11 wrote:
If its just 25 to 50 k do you really need to launder it? why wouldnt you just deposit 3-5 k a month in the bank untill it was in? I would like to see some ideas though for larger amounts of money. [/quote]
$3-5K a month would be pushing the limit of what you could get away with, because banks can report ANY manner of suspicious activity, including transactions adding up to over $10K.
Anyway, I just wouldn’t feel safe unless I was certain that my account could survive an audit. If you ever wanted to do anything with the money other than blow it on stupid shit, you would need to be able to explain it’s origin.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
tmay11 wrote:
If its just 25 to 50 k do you really need to launder it? why wouldnt you just deposit 3-5 k a month in the bank untill it was in? I would like to see some ideas though for larger amounts of money.
$3-5K a month would be pushing the limit of what you could get away with, because banks can report ANY manner of suspicious activity, including transactions adding up to over $10K.
Anyway, I just wouldn’t feel safe unless I was certain that my account could survive an audit. If you ever wanted to do anything with the money other than blow it on stupid shit, you would need to be able to explain it’s origin.[/quote]
Ummm, no. Perhaps you’re a builder who gets paid in cash? 25-50K over a year is a normal amount of money to be depositing in a bank.
But if you mean that the notes you have are known to banks (serial numbers recorded from your bank heist!) then its off to a casino.
That’s what casinos are for - Money Laundering. Hand over dirty money, get pretty-coloured chips, gamble a little (give the casio around 10% for their trouble), return chips for some nice clean money.
[quote]Stronghold wrote:
Why not just use the dirty money for your spending money (gas, groceries, etc) rather than taking that money out of your bank account?[/quote]
Like Spry said quickest way would be a casino in vegas. You would have to drive the money there as you couldn’t fly with that much cash on you. Gamble a little and cash out.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
Stronghold wrote:
Why not just use the dirty money for your spending money (gas, groceries, etc) rather than taking that money out of your bank account?
To use the money on housing, bills, etc.
And so nobody can rob your shit. [/quote]
I can only gieve you the advice that was given me and that is don´t bother unless you have a few million.
If you can explain your traceable lifestyle everythings fine, just buy gas, food and any luxuries in cash until its gone.
If you want to be absolutely on the safe side, the casino advice works up to a point.
I thought that banks didn’t really care or it didn’t raise suspicion unless it was a deposit over 10,000.
I am hoping for this problem, actually. I am in a 1,000 per square superbowl pool.
Not sure about how it works in your country but a good way to launder that amount of cash in the UK would be to get yourself admitted to hospital (its not that hard)
And have the cash on you at time of admittance, they will take the money and put it in the hospital safe.
Now here�??s the good part;
When you get the money back it will be in the form of a nice easily bankable government cheque
And the hospital cannot tell the police of your money due to patient confidentiality.
Its true Bush 100% I have seen it happen loads of times myself, some drug dealers I know of do it regular (I know of them from the hospital, I do not know them socially)
Not sure about being investigated after that, but these guys have been pulling the same scam for years.
If I had $50000 that was too hot to move I would buy scratch off lottery tickets. The average winnings are about $3 for every $5 you spend. Anything you win over $600 gets reported to the IRS. Do that over a couple of months and you might have half of your money left, but it would be clean.
Start a dump of a business. Create purchase orders for inventory in the amount of the money that you want to clean. Then create fake sales orders with the same fake items, with the money to be cleaned incorporated as the price difference from price of goods purchased to price of goods sold.
Declare a profit and deposit the money. If you happen upon a set of products that actualy sell in your region, you will also turn a legitimate profit, and have a machine with which you can clean an unlimited amount of cash, dovetail it into a fencing operation, start cleaning other peoples money…
Lower level organized criminals do this all of the time. Thats how those crappy little stores and empty dingey little strip clubs that no one ever goes in to stay in business.